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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Death Watch

Daily Draw: Greenwood Tarot ~ 5 of Coins

In the years since I've been doing my card of the day this is just the fifth time I've drawn the 5 of coins. The 8, 9, and 10 of swords look worse but in my view they speak of inner turmoil or pain and finally hitting bottom, consequently moving forward from there. The 5 of coins is a more widespread life overview, the Minor's equivalent to the Major's Tower when a lot of outside factors negatively impact us.

My heart and my cards tell me we are just days from the time my FIL will be leaving us. Two days ago I began praying for that. He is done having fun and I pray for him as I would for us all, that he go easy while he has a shred of personal dignity and memory left. Perhaps that is wrong of me, but I've always said I'm not afraid of death, only dying. There are many appalling ways to get to the door... The last two years I've been his shadow on the farm, then his full time caregiver, now his home hospice provider. His leaving will impact my course in many ways. A lot of it reflected in this card.

"When you lose someone you love, you die too, and you wait around for your body to catch up." ~ John Scalzi 1969-

1 comment:

  1. Absolutely perfect - I've had a feeling for days of something happening, either close or far from my life - this just magnifies it. Again - the quote at the bottom is wonderful.

    ReplyDelete

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