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Monday, June 6, 2011

Totem Wake-up

Daily Draw: Druid Animal Oracle ~ Owl

Two years ago I was gifted with the totem of the owl. I was in the late stages of the two years I took care of my father-in-law. By that time he was in full scale dementia so I was dealing with that in addition to everything that goes with end of life hospice care. I'm not bitching, I'd do it again in a minute, but for about six weeks there I was getting maybe three interrupted hours of sleep a day. I was hallucinating, staggering, in constant defcon5 alert.

I'm reminded by this card of the morning in January I found an owl, just laying there dead under a tree in the front yard. I took it to mean that I could stop trying to see all things at one time, I'd done what I could, and it was time to think through what could be working better and how some help could be managed. Believe it or not, before that morning it hadn't crossed my mind there were better ways of taking care of both him and me, because like most of life, the responsibilities were gradual. I gave thanks, gleaned some gorgeous feathers and buried him under a cairn next to my sanctuary.

"Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made." ~ Bill Watterson 1958-

1 comment:

  1. It is amazing to me what we can endure before we wake up and see that perhaps there is another way. I'm sure your FIL wasn't aware of it in the last stages of dementia, but he was very lucky to have someone like like you care for him.

    ReplyDelete

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