Chapter two, The Pool Of Tears: 'Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. 'Would you like cats if you were me?' Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
The mouse was easy to offend and Alice did it again and again. She thought they were friends via shared adventure, the mouse knew they never would be.
I'm reminded by this card Rob and I have been married 40+ years and not one of his family have expressed any interest or concern, in any way, about my cancer, nor have they offered any support to Rob. Silly me to think they might; I learned early in the marriage to never expect anything and I'd never be disappointed.
"It is what it is." Urban Dictionary
Posts
Still, when you have a kind heart (as you do my friend), it is hard to comprehend the reasons for how insensitive others can be. Do they do it intentionally or obliviously? Is it nature or nurture? I suppose you have the right idea - when you don't have expectations, you don't have any disappointments.
ReplyDeleteOh Sharyn that is just horrible. I know of that kind of neglect too well from my mom, it is their loss really. You bring a lot of positives to me everyday, I always look forward to your posts here and wish you the best.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry Sharyn, it seems that our family members that we would suppose would be there for us many times are not. I agree, our expectations usually lead to our hurt feelings. Love you and I want you to know that I care about you. You are one of those beacons of light in this otherwise dark world.
ReplyDeleteReading this post a month later it seem petty to the extreme :) but I guess I was pretty fragile when I wrote it and the cards that come up each day have their message to say.
ReplyDeleteWhat helped me let it go was in a cancer book I bought for Rob which had a chapter on family. One of the many helpful things it said was 'don't expect anything different from anyone than to be the way they always have been'. It made it seem less impersonal, knowing it goes in many families.
Still hurts me for Rob though, he has given so much to his family.
Thank you all for stopping by my blog, Sharyn