On my desk and nightstand are sticky notes with phrases or words from books that hit a sore spot, had elegance of wordsmithing, or words that I just liked rolling over my tongue. One note says "To fight with a ghost locks it tighter to you". Running old hurtful harmful tapes in my head came to mind with that one.
I've been rocked back with sudden insight by these two Empresses, young and old, Eastern and Western, that the mother I've avoided for the last 30 years isn't there any more. In my mind she has morphed back into the young mother I knew on the farm growing up. The one who nurtured and encouraged and loved. I'll take that particular silver lining and lay a ghost tape to rest.
"Ghosts seem harder to please than we are; it is as though they haunt for haunting's sake--much as we relive, brood, and smolder over our past." ~ Elizabeth Bowen 1899-1973