Sunday, May 18, 2014

Safety As A Form Of Love

Daily Draw: Henny's Tarot/Oracle of Eggs-Pression
Empress and Wheel

Empress: Gift: Love of Life
                Challenge: Emotional Fluctuations

I'll be frank. I've spent the last 30 years avoiding my mother. A yearly visit of 2-4 hours was all I could take. I snail-mailed often for whatever that is worth. I was the black sheep, now I'm the only sheep. Consequently, emotional fluctuations are the order of the day here. But I do recognize the mother love I had as a child, and my responsibility to give the safety to my mother that she and dad gifted to me.

Wheel:     Hub, Connect, Movable

Yes, I ran from my mother. But because we had a mail relationship I could see her mind deteriorating long before my siblings would listen to me. There isn't much an early warning can do in the case of dementia. They don't see or believe there is a problem. Now mother remembers nothing of this place until she sees it. "Oh. Yes, I used this bathroom once before." "Oh, yes, we used this ramp once before, didn't we?".  So for mom, her mind is a simple wheel, taking in what is right before her, the rest of the spokes blank, except for her childhood. All I can give is safety.


2 comments:

  1. I am honored by your choice of deck/oracle. :)
    The recalcitrant child of the mother has now moved to becoming the responsible parent of the mother. Regardless of the past and all those emotional fluctuations of the present, I think you have come full circle in a loving way.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Due to a lack of words I'l give you a gentle hug

    ReplyDelete

I welcome your thoughts. Good bad or indifferent; opinions are the lifeblood of conversation and I always learn something from a new point of view. Thank you for visiting, Sharyn