Thursday, October 13, 2016

Tiny Trickles

Daily Draw: Tarocco Piemontese Tarot ~ Ace of Cups/Coupes

The power of emotions. And how far and long we can tamp them down. I spent 15+ years avoiding my mother, just a once or twice a year visit for a couple of hours. Then my baby sister died and mother was left to me. I brought her home and rediscovered a bright and witty sense of humor, mostly overridden by dementia into a cruel and angry harridan whose words and presence haunt this home.

I'm reminded by this gentle cup, as we passed through Iowa and Illinois this month, what I could hear were mothers memories being told again and again about her happy childhood there. And because I'd never known her there, my own childhood mother began to reappear, the one I'd never found as an adult. And some of my buried grief began to trickle through. It is safer this way...just a trickle at a time, my coping mechanisms are unsafe.

"I am a thread too slender
To suspend all this reality..." ~ Phillip Pulfrey  Madness

3 comments:

  1. Even drop by drop that cup will eventually fill. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a wonderful and healing oppertunity to travel through your mothers past.
    "Just a trickle at a time." is this way for me too. Afraid to drown in the flood

    ReplyDelete

I welcome your thoughts. Good bad or indifferent; opinions are the lifeblood of conversation and I always learn something from a new point of view. Thank you for visiting, Sharyn