Stand With The Ghosts

Cathar Tarot ~ 10 of Wands/Shields

The Cathars were no strangers to lies, plots, betrayals, cunning plans and senseless murders. Their Faith was simple, as was their lifestyle and in the end they were all gone. 

Persecution. It isn't stealing lunch money. It is unreasoning unrelenting uncalled for punishment for race or religion or politics. 

Look out the current window to the world and it is everywhere. All I feel is shame and sorrow for this space called America. I stand with the ghosts of the Cathars. How can people carry and spew so much hate and their brains just not explode? 10 of Wands indeed.

Status Quo

Cathar Tarot ~ 4 of Coins/Wisdom

Tattered, fleeing, he takes his best good with him. Critical utensils, books...reliquary? Decimated by the arrogant Templar Crusades, subjected to the Spanish Inquisition, finally sanctioned genocide. For thinking differently, peaceably. 

Nothing changes. But I'm wondering about that box. Is it just a box? The Cathars would most certainly not revered a fancy box with a dubious knuckle bone inside. But even the poorest among us have something special. Or perhaps in reversed 4 of Coins fashion, in his 4 of Wisdom form he is taking his special items to gift somewhere sensing the writing on the wall that the Cather's are doomed. 

And here I am with three big bins of good goods behind my couch. I don't want the stuff, but my petty heart says it's too good to donate? What the heck is the matter with my brain and heart? 

Tree Rings on Lammas

Lammas 

When we replenish the flight branches of our brooms by gleaning under the forest giants. 

I counted the rings on the maple we are currently harvesting. Sixty. A seedling in 1960. Last century. I give thanks for the heat it will provide. I give thanks for the clean air it provided. I give thanks for the shade and homes it provided for woodland creatures, birds, and insects. Thank you. 

Life is a circle and we each do our part, and then return to the earth. Lovely life. Lammas. 

From the White Hare Wisdom Deck. 

Followers Do Not Equal Quality

Cathar Tarot ~ Magician/Parfait

Those we come into contact with which lead us further on our journey. Some lead by example, we may never interact with them but they have lasting influences. Some are paid to teach us, some we meet in the course of our allotted days. 

In pursuit of the Watkins link for my sidebar today I ran across a deck I'd never heard of, which led to the information it was a product by a 'social influencer'. My spell check won't even acknowledge that word. She won't be one of my Perfecti in this lifetime. 

Children are stuck with classroom teachers but as adults we can choose what vessels we drink from. I won't be shouted at, bullied, told the cracked dirty glass is the only one on offer, I have to do or think because this is the way it's always been done. If what you offer doesn't make me smarter, make my life brighter, enrich the community... screw you and the horse you rode in on. Followers don't equal quality. 

Perfect

Etruscan Tarot ~ 10 of Coins

Ah. Perfect card to end the week, and I feel more at peace with myself than I have in months. I am what I am, the world is what it is, I will do what I can and must.  I wish that for everyone. 

Two

Etruscan Tarot ~ Hanged Man

A think for the rest of the day, am I the carried or the carrier? 

We are never one thing all the time, but are we the burden or do we bear the burden? Are we providing comfort and solace, or choosing the fight and fight some more mode? 

Two minds, two hearts, two choices, two actions. 

You write two enough times it turns into one of those words that doesn't look like a word anymore. 

Pick It Up

Etruscan Tarot ~ 5 of Coins

This boy is gleaning olives. 

A time honored way of getting something you can't afford to buy. Can also be a 6 of Coins card for the landowner. Often the job given to the younger children, being closer to the ground. I've gleaned neighbors apples and late raspberries and strawberries as a kid. Rob's dad supplemented his mother's depression era larder with gleaned plums. My mother was allowed to sell the eggs she could find under shrubs. My uncle said they were so poor he was sent into the fields in the winter to glean the wool from dead sheep. The biblical Ruth gleaned grain in the field of her future husband, Boaz. My dachshunds are champion pre-gleaners, eating fresh string beans off the plant and pulling young carrots up, they loves themselves some fresh veg!

Gleaned items are generally bruised, culls, maybe not quite so fresh, you might have to fight yellow-jackets for it. When you are hungry, don't disdain manna...it's on the ground, pick it up, fill the tummy. 

My Own Music

Etruscan Tarot ~ Magician

"He dances for himself". Don't think 'taking selfies' is the same thing. 

Has it been bit by nibble by byte by kilobyte by megabyte as we release everything about ourselves out into the wild that we've lost who we are?  When did dancing for our self go extinct? It is an important part of what and who we are, our Self. And not just because the world doesn't care, they don't take in all that exposure, treasure it, it flows over like muddy water, barely registering, yet the river of pointless useless images flows on. Many people have died taking selfies...rather than looking at what is so impressive behind them, they have their back to it, their big mindless heads in the viewfinder. What does that say about our society? 

I could say the same about Quirkeries. I dance for myself here, yet it is open for public. Why don't I make it private? Something I ponder often...as my mind and fingers move to my own music, making words. 

Rumination

Etruscan Tarot ~ 4 of Swords

Silent, still, suspenseful. Patient, poised, pounce ready. 

What does rest, repose, retreat, rumination really do for us? 

I'd like to be any of a hundred places rather than here. But I'm not.

Have I improved anything about my life during this retreat time?

I've shaved another half hour off the the time I spend on-line daily. 

I was more wound up about my annual mammogram than I am about actually having lung cancer again, I'd call that a mental step forward. 

My house is lighter, I've moved on boxes of things, putting them into the hands of quilters who might make better use of them. I've made good use of the resources I have at hand. 

I've worked out how school can safely resume by grade groups, drilling down to what is important. I'm going to add hotfix rhinestones to my masks, a girl has to have her bling. Life hasn't stopped, just rethought. Probably a good thing. 

Primary Sacred Duty

Etruscan Tarot~ 6 of Cups

Father and son in harmony. Now what about the other 58 minutes in an hour? Poor parents, what ever possesses them to have more than one child? I had good parents, always knew it, and I opposed them in just about everything. It was my primary sacred duty as a kid. 

And to think, they had four, all doing it, plus fairly constant fighting each other, except when we fomented joint revolution. I know why parents want schools opened back up, they are exhausted. I hope I'm still here in 20 years when the long term results of this enforced familyhood have played out. 

The most peaceful 6 of Cups parent/child times I can think of were when they read aloud to any of us. And watching home movies, total fun, as dad would run the film very fast, or run it backwards. You had to be there... I don't think I've ever been sorry I wasn't able to have kids, because a child's sacred duty hasn't changed one whit. 

Can't Eat 5.9 Million Dollars

Etruscan Tarot ~ Knight of Swords

Powerful warrior, indomitable stallion. Probably training, else he would have shoes. I expect more horses than men have died in wars, left to bloat, or eaten. 

Today's horse, a black hawk helicopter costs 5.9 million dollars and you can't eat it. Today's sword, the FN AR-15 or M4 costs the taxpayer $700.00. In Etruscan times the soldier would pay a sword and helmet  polisher from his salary and bring his own shoes or boots and saddle. Probably had to bring his own horse. 

I just finished listening to Redwall, the story of Mathias and the dangers he faced and the friends he made bringing Martin's sword home, just in time to defeat Cluny and his army. It is easier to value a solider in a book than in today's times when anonymous military attack their own citizens, and generals crawl behind a coward. I can only hope the best for the horse in these strange times, I've lost all respect for the riders. 

Sorting Wheat From Chaff

Lover's Path Tarot ~ 8 of Swords/Arrows

Before she would grant Psyche's request to be reunited with Cupid, Venus tasked her to separate a warehouse of mixed grains into separate and organized piles. By the end of the day. Psyche wept...

We could probably agree that weeping and gnashing of teeth and hissy fits don't help. But what they do is give us thinking space, to pull our wits together, to define the world's wheat from the chaff. Waiting for someone else to make the important decisions, to bail us out, to 'fix it' is a fool's game. 

This is the day I'm given. It is 5 AM and I can sort wheat from chaff. Weeping isn't on the schedule. 

Justice Is A Myth

Lover's Path Tarot ~ Justice

Odysseus and Penelope, torn apart for ten years, both beset by numerous obstacles to their reunion, yet they prevailed, to be together. Waldherr apparently sees Justice as fairness that comes with persistent patience. 

If I once believed that, experience and observation has beat it out of me. Fairness is a fairy tale word, I don't bother looking for it in this world. This has been a year filled with this truth, Justice does not exist.

Opposites Attract

Lover's Path Tarot ~ Temperance/Balance

Venus and Vulcan. Water and Fire. Opposites attract. 

I got nothing. ;) Maybe later. It is so early it is practically yesterday. Insomnia. What a pain in the patootie. 

Don't Look Back

Lover's Path Tarot ~ Hanged Man/Sacrifice

Orpheus and Eurydice make a run for the light. Lot and his family make a run from Sodom and Gomorrah. Orpheus looked back and doomed Eurydice. Lot's wife looked back and was turned to a pillar of salt.

Big stories, life or death. We spend a lot of time looking back, leaving little room for moving on. On the mini-scale of things, I was presented with the New Blogger again this morning. Yes, I can once again revert to legacy blogger. Until August, when New and unimproved is the only choice. I serious considered making that day my last blog post. After all, having written the equivalent of fifteen books here what could I possibly have left to say. But that's looking back isn't it? 

So I unreverted from legacy and chose the New Blogger... I like thinking here. I won't look back, change is growth. Isn't it? 

Something To Look Forward To

Lover's Path Tarot ~ 10 of Swords/Arrows

Abandon hope all ye who enter here. The hell you say...these swords have hearts for arrowheads. There aren't any nocks. And one is going up.

I fight like mad to not slide back into the black abyss of depression. I work at it. I seek out things to look forward to, small and large. I look forward to what card will be pulled from the fan. Forward to the little fabric sweepstakes I enter each morning. Forward to the coop and will there be another egg there four times a morning. Forward to next week's lawn mowing. Forward to buying the ruler I need to begin my version of my next quilt. Forward to entering three things in my gratitude journal app each evening. Forward to newly connected family driving up in their big Allegro and camping here. Forward to being able to hug my  cousin again. Even forward to the next family plot visit. Those are hearts...and I work at working at enjoying my life, I never want to go back to that other 10 of Swords place where each day I think up new and more interesting ways to end it. Even that exercise was a way of clinging to something to look forward to...