Thursday, October 3, 2013

Diary Of Dementia

Daily Draw: Petrak Tarot ~ Hanged Man

Good morning Mom, I can see from here you don't have your bottom teeth in.
Oh. Don't I? (tongue action)
Hey, someone has taken my teeth.
I'm looking for them mom. Do you know how long they've been missing? (pointless query)
Something is missing, what is it?
I'm looking for your teeth mom. Did you have them at lunch? (futile query. All time questions are futile but it engages her brain so it must be a good thing, right?)
I know something isn't right, but I can't...(taps head)
Hey! You've put them in your used kleenex drawer by your bed!
Your used kleenex drawer, see, here they are!
Where? My teeth are missing, where are my dentures?
I'm soaking the kleenex off mom. Maybe you took them out in the night.
Well something isn't right. I looked but then I didn't know (taps head, what she was looking for)
Hey! Where are my teeth?

Hanged Man indeed. I took care of my father-in-law for three years and watched this same scenario play out until there was nothing left but sad eyes. The worse it gets the more you want to do, the less you can do. Any change from what they still recognize and know is disastrous and speeds up the process. Change the color of the water sipper cup? Won't be there next day, dropped in the garbage, not theirs. New clothes? They will say every time they put them on, not theirs. Washing hands, combing hair? The need has escaped them. I'm even considering asking a friend to borrow a one-level house sitting empty. But would it be a service to my mother? Yes in that we could see each other from anywhere in the living space. No because it would be change. Should I take a recliner and stay with her in her room? If I wasn't in the recliner she wouldn't recognize it's presence and would stand in the hall asking people to take it out. Oh thou dirty rotten Hanged Man.

"My mother is treating her sore leg with powered creamer."
"She sees the photograph of two vases of sweetpeas as dad and grandpa in military uniform with their arms entwined."  ~ Sharyn


  1. Am I right that your mother is living with you? That is a huge commitment. It must require a lot of patience and Hanged man qualities to persist. I know in some way what you are going through; It is hard to have to say goodbye to someone who is still here..

  2. Not yet, as long as she was happy and content at the nursing home I left her be, again, because change isn't good. I also didn't have her here because I was working, but that job has ended, probably at just the right time. Things seem to work out, at least that is what I'm hoping for...
    Thanks for stopping by, Sharyn

  3. Peace to your heart and mind dear friend. I'm afraid my mil is heading slowly down the same path. I am glad your mom is in a place where she feels happy and content - that is perhaps more important than you being there with her. (((S)))

  4. Oh dear, that is so hard. I used to work with people with Alzheimers and it was just grueling to watch the struggle it caused in the relatives. Just be very aware of your own breaking point, crossing that won't do anyone any good.

  5. Wow...yes. This has to be one of the hardest things to see ever. You're far braver than I am, though. My grandmother has memory loss and I have been avoiding seeing her because I selfishly don't want to see her that way. I know a couple who are directors of an Alzheimer's care facility. Those people have my sincere respect. I don't know how one could manage that day in and day out, as an occupation!

    Sigh. Anyway. Sending hugs,


I welcome your thoughts. Good bad or indifferent; opinions are the lifeblood of conversation and I always learn something from a new point of view. Thank you for visiting, Sharyn