Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Crash And Burn

Daily Draw: Ostara Tarot ~ Tower

Smited? Smiting? Smitee? Smitor?
Do we own it, or begin another tower build?
In many respects, of identical materials?

Is it called  hope or stubborn?

Monday, October 30, 2017


Daily Draw: Ostara Tarot ~ Knight of Coins

Arduous quest and life lesson coming up.

I'll take the Funvee, you take the Humvee...Robert Downey Jr. Iron Man
Didn't work out so well for Iron Man, the Funvee and crew were blown up, putting him right back at quest and life lesson.

I'm reminded by this card most of my quests and lessons weren't marked on a map and I only realized what they were at the other end. Not such a bad thing, we can stand anything for a day, the idea of years is a bit intimidating.

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Yanked String

Daily Draw: Ostara Tarot ~ Hierophant

In some decks this is Priest, others dedicate the number five spot to Hierophant and a few to Pope. Generally meaning established social and spiritual mores and searching for deeper meaning. Really? Three different titles?

Of course this is a string I followed this morning, first with image returns of each. Why way more Hierophants than Priests? Popes seem more inclined to live in decks that preceded the 1910 RWS deck.

I'm reminded by this card, deeper meaning makes for richer understanding. And it is easy to yank Sharyn's string.

Saturday, October 28, 2017


Daily Draw: Ostara Tarot ~ Ace of Swords

I loaded this image upside down, didn't realize it until I recognized the mouse wasn't supposed to be playing Hanged Man.

This is a card of mental acumen and clarity. I have brilliant ideas occasionally but only after the idea has set on my mental working wall and ripened for a few days.

Hey. Thinking is a good thing.

"I like that. I'll have some more later." Lauren Bacall  The Big Sleep 1946

Friday, October 27, 2017

Deadly Sin

Daily Draw: Ostara Tarot ~ 9 of Cups

Is this 9 of Cups pride and indulgence? Or resting after  accomplishments?

Does it matter? Is one a earned retreat, and one a cup of sin running over? Is pride a sin? What stage of pride? We need self confidence to make our way through life and suppressing pride in accomplishments seems counter intuitive.

If pride is a sin does bragging rate a red R on our forehead? What signifies crossing the line? When it transfers from thought to word? Is it even possible to brag silently without it become silent sin?

The church of old white men lists pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth as deadly sins.  Where does that put the parents who let their baby die and rot in its swing? Or the ones that fed their boy to the pigs. Or making and sharing pornography involving a baby? Home free? This is one weird world. Maybe there should be a neon list of the seven deadly religions.

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Oddball File

The subject of Certification comes up often. Who needs it, where do you get it, what to do with it, how much does it cost.
These have been in the behind everything else tarot related drawer, thought I'd give them a little sun and air.  (they are a joke son, don't get excited) Awarded by the Fulgour Prentice Institute


Daily Draw: Ostara Tarot ~ 7 of Wands

Maintain your position, or improve upon it.

The Hoquiam River ran through the farm where I grew up, with a big alder bottom at each end. For a farmer, alder is just another word for handy firewood. For a kid, alder is just another way to the sky.

"We'd never know how high we are, till we are called to rise; and then, if we are true to plan, our statures touch the sky". ~ Emily Dickinson  1830-1886

Wednesday, October 25, 2017


Daily Draw: Ostara Tarot ~ King of Cups

Emotionally invested. And possibly asleep...or scrying?

Long post back spaced out...poor insipid USA, very sad.

Better to say I'm emotionally invested in our family plot where I will be today, scrubbing and polishing the stones in the autumn sunshine.

Life is good.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017


Daily Draw: Ostara Tarot ~ Knight of Wands

What mount is this? Cat? Bear? Hyena? I love decks that make me look at the cards rather than flip me to keywords. Might be a brilliant idea for a mount weapon, many animals can't breathe through their mouths. Bet it would chafe like mad though.

I'm reminded by this Knight, effective or innovative as they might be, mostly they follow orders. Probably why many tarot knights are on the move, sometimes at a great rate of speed. Get as far away from command central daycare as they can.

My casual brain thinks:
"Large men in black plate mail with red cloaks and plumes don't sneak worth a damn." ~ Tanya Huff 1957-  Nights of the Round Table and Other Stories of Heroic Fantasy

My undermind believes:
War seems like a fine adventure, the greatest most of them will ever know. Then they get a taste of battle.

For some, that one taste is enough to break them. Others go on for years, until they lose count of all the battles they have fought in, but even a man who has survived a hundred fights can break in his hundred-and-first. Brothers watch their brothers die, fathers lose their sons, friends see their friends trying to hold their entrails in after they’ve been gutted by an axe.

They see the lord who led them there cut down, and some other lord shouts that they are his now, They take the wound, and when that’s still half-healed they take another. There is never enough to eat, their shoes fall to pieces from marching, their clothes are torn and rotting, and half of them are shitting in their breeches from drinking bad water.

If they want new boots or a warmer cloak or maybe a rusted iron half helm, they need to take them from a corpse, and before long they are stealing from the living too, from the small folk whose land they’re fighting in, men very like the men they used to be. They slaughter their sheep and steal their chickens, and from there it’s just a short step to carrying off their daughters too. And one day they look around and realize all their friends and kin are gone, that they are fighting beside strangers beneath a banner that they hardly recognize. They don’t know where they are or how to get back home and the lord they’re fighting for does not know their names, yet here he comes, shouting for them to form up, to make a line with their spears and scythes and sharpened hoes, to stand their ground. And the knights come down on them, faceless men clad in all steel, and the iron thunder of their charge seems to fill the world.

And the man breaks.”
George R.R. Martin 1948-  A Feast for Crows

Monday, October 23, 2017

Can't Miss What We Don't Know

Daily Draw: Ostara Tarot ~ 10 of Coins

The provider, the breadwinner, the support pinion, the responsible one. I wonder what percentage of children today have a similar family unit like I grew up in. The traditional, the benchmark: father breadwinner, mother support, and four children co-responsible. No divorce.

Only three of the girls I grew up with had mothers who worked outside the home. One of those was a single mother with five kids. If I had to guess, I'd say today would be a reverse of my statistics.

My life veered off the conventional because I worked full time from  sixteen to retirement and didn't have kids. Some of the income was from conventional jobs, some based on self-employment.

Long speech to say not much. I'm thinking I can't miss what I didn't know and maybe it is that way for most of today's families.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Skill Set

Daily Draw: Ostara Tarot ~ 3 of Coins

The card of the apprentice.

I can sum myself up as lifelong apprentice, master of none. I can live with that, but I've often thought my real skill/mission/talent is hidden from me because there are millions of things to do in a wide world.

I'm reminded by this card to wonder what my skill set direction would be had I been born in Andorra, Curacao, Latvia, Sierra Leone...?

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Let It Come

Daily Draw: Tao Oracle ~ Hexagram 58 Joyous

Be open to joy rather than seek it aggressively.
Be open, let it come.

I learned this truth twice. By doing three gratitudes a day for three years. Once I got past the food/shelter/family mind set I opened up to a myriad of things I'd missed every day of my life because I took them for granted, beneath importance, brushed them off.

I learned this truth the second time during five years of bleak black depression. I think if I hadn't done my prior gratitudes for those years I would have thought I had nothing to live for. But I knew where joy was, knew it was far fetched from happy. Joy is deep. I am joyous I know how to recognize it, let it roll over me, when I'd seen all the black I thought I could bear. Let it come.

Three Saturday Gratitudes:
Rob's amazing peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies. He spent all day Wednesday making my winter stash.

My Kindle book app. Up now: One Small Candle: The Pilgrims' First Year in America, Thomas Fleming. Did you know the muskets of the 1600s were five foot long and if you had a bear charging you there had to be a lit match ready in order to use the gun.

Honcho and Ash, my kittens. A laugh a minute.

Friday, October 20, 2017


Daily Draw: Tao Oracle ~ Hexagram 50 Cauldron

Our inner thoughts are who we are, regardless of what face we present to the world.

Scary thought in itself...In my mind, before I stopped wanting to do it, I've killed, many times.

In my mind I've wept at the outrages that are heaped on the weak by the powerful but I've not lifted a hand.

In my  mind I've gathered dozens of interesting ways to leave the world. I'm well now, but I often polish those paths.

The cauldron is the failsafe.

Thursday, October 19, 2017


Daily Draw: Tao Oracle ~ Upward

I can't think of any way this applies to me today.
I'll think on it.

edited to add at 3:30 PM.. still blank but Rob is making mushroom gravy for dinner.

That is close enough for me...

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Burning Daylight

Daily Draw: Tao Oracle ~ Hexagram 52 Keeping Still

Non-action, still mind. The closest I've been to created meditation is corpse pose at the end of a yoga practice. But a consult with the dictionary this morning also gives: contemplation, thought, thinking, musing, pondering, consideration, reflection, deliberation, rumination, brooding, reverie, brown study, concentration.

I'm reminded by this card, if we give life some stillness, the brain will fall in line. I probably do most of those definitions daily. Probably because I make a point of stillness in the course of a day. Non-action? Not so much, daylight is burning, get on with it.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017


Daily Draw: Tao Oracle ~ Hexagram 64 Completion

Pear shaped.
Round file it.
Right dog's dinner.
Foiled again.
Jiggers, the fuzz.
Cross purposes.
Frog stitching.
That is just off the top of my head, I'm sure there are unlimited phrases to signify loss of faith in a project or relationship.

Hexagram 64, the final one, would have us review ourselves first.
Big fat hurry.
Cutting corners.
Short funded.
And of course our old friend, ego.

Monday, October 16, 2017

I Doubt It

Daily Draw: Tao Oracle ~ Hexagram 41 Decrease

Decreasing becomes increasing if we think about it.
Buy what we need rather than want increases our financial stewardship.
Decreasing world chatter increases our ability to think for ourselves.
Decreasing our own ego increases our ability to work with others.

After seventeen years of working FlyLady principles, this year Rob got on board with no word yea or nay from me. I've been so impressed with what he has let go of in his garage.

The biggest mental block to decreasing anything on any level? 'I might need it someday'.  I sincerely doubt it.

Sunday, October 15, 2017


Daily Draw: Tao Oracle ~ Hexagram 49 Revolution
Revolution = Breakthrough
Revolution = Change wanted and worked toward

I recently read Desperate Sons: Samuel Adams, Patrick Henry, John Hancock, and the Secret Bands of Radicals Who Led the Colonies to War by Les Standiford. I'd forgotten the actual War of Independence lasted seven years with dedicated efforts the four years prior to that. I did remember the base reason, taxation without representation.

Reflecting my heart: Bring 'em home, bring 'em All home. We have no business conducting other countries revolutions, favorably skewed to old white men.

"Inferiors revolt in order that they may be equal and equals that they may be superior. Such is the state of mind which creates revolutions." ~ Aristotle 384 BC-322 BC

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Let It Be

Daily Draw: Moon Oracle ~ Full Moon in Water

Emotions and events are working toward successful outcomes.

As a Scorpio in this moon, I have a tendency to not leave well enough alone, give it a poke, give it some gas, redo something that doesn't need redone. I'm not a perfectionist..just a muddler I guess.

Friday, October 13, 2017

Time and Energy

Daily Draw: Moon Oracle ~ Full Moon in Air

This moon only happens in full opposition to the sun.

I'm thinking most of my personal victories are all in opposition to someone or something. Maybe that is the only time we are willing to expend the time and energy it takes to find a solution?

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Prominence or Power?

Daily Draw: Moon Oracle ~ Sceptre in Mansion 14

Desire for a position of prominence and or power.

Maybe at one time, no more. If I had to chose I'd prefer to be the 'power behind the throne'. Being on the throne makes one the big fat target for blame for everything under the sun. There isn't enough glory to make that worthwhile.

 "I achieved a lot of my materialistic objectives, and I lost a lot of my personal spirituality." ~ Benebell Wen 1981-

Wednesday, October 11, 2017


Daily Draw: Moon Oracle ~ First Quarter Waxing Air

Adaptability, book advice: Idea? Obtain reactions from as many people possible, and adjust,  modify and adapt accordingly.

Not in my world. Can we say roll over dishrag?

Tuesday, October 10, 2017


Daily Draw: Moon Oracle ~ Hecate

Virgin, mother, crone.
Bearer of riches, magic, wisdom, victory. Not necessarily in that order.
Known to travel with a pack of hounds.
Lover of remote and dark places.

Not a mother, certainly believe in magic and aim for wisdom.
Travel with my two dogs and two kittens. All four discards, each special beyond words.
Like many of  my compatriots, my mind runs to remote and dark places, driven by outrage, embarrassment, fear, sorrow.

I've taken up the slingshot.

Monday, October 9, 2017

Scrape My Brain

Daily Draw: Moon Oracle ~ Black Moon in Earth

Economy is recommended, no new investments, begin nothing that involves risk, cut back on expenses.

If you knew a comet is likely to strike and change the world as we know it, how would you prepare? What are the first things you'd ditch? No power. No fuel. No grocery stores being resupplied. No medicines. No hospitals. No police or army. No government left. Money worth zip.

I'm listening to Lucifer's Hammer Niven/Pournelle 1977. No heroes here, just tough decisions, life or death every day. If living required economy every single day in day out, how would your life change? If the economy was based on barter, what skills do you have that would make you a keeper?

I've only scraped up three things so far, it would have to be a pretty small community to make me worth keeping. Eek.

Sunday, October 8, 2017

No. Just NO.

Daily Draw: Moon Oracle ~ Bridge, Moon Mansion 6

Bridging the gap when our heart says no, our brain says oh no, double no. The figures in the card, backed by a blue moon, are making an effort to find common ground.

I'm reminded by this card sometimes the distance is too vast to ever touch, for instance politics. No, double no.  But human interests are wide, is it possible to go sideways and reach out on hobbies, jobs, books, movies, weather? Surely, one forbidden subject doesn't preclude us from turning around and finding a friend with much in common.

"Too often we rush to judgment, race to argue, overlook all the common ground we share." ~ Matthew Kelly 1973-

From this found quote, I looked Kelly up. He is a the founder of The Dynamic Catholic Institute, a Cincinnati-based nonprofit organization, whose mission is to re-energize the Catholic Church in America. No. Just NO. Yet I'm sure we could have wonderful conversations about dozens of diametrically opposed subjects.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Chewed Leaf

Daily Draw: Lojong for the Layperson ~ Slogan 25

Owning our own internal injuries.
Ignoring the injury causing faults in others.

Do I mean faults of or in others?
Does that mean ignoring? Accepting? Respecting? Not sure where this goes, perhaps it depends on the depth of injury? And whether it is injury to us or self inflicted injury or even imaginary? In reference to others doesn't it all come down to judging someone. Maybe that is the crux of the matter. Stop judging.

I judge myself harshly. I can see that causes internal injuries. I wonder if I can roll those around in my internal hands, recognize, own, then flip them over my shoulder and and tend to what is happening rather than what has happened.

Perhaps the author/artist of this deck will steer me back on the path.

Friday, October 6, 2017


Daily Draw: Lojong for the Layperson ~ Slogan 27

Slogan 27 would have us acknowledge the thought patterns, activity patterns, and emotional patterns, not in our best interest.
Excuses boil across my brain.
I have a long table rather than a desk. No drawers, things on the left side have a tendency to pile up. (This would be evidence of all three patterns I think).  For instance:

*A Brilliance Publishing postcard that came out of the current audio book I'm listening to.. I want to see what else they offer, but I'm nearly out of my broadband time for the month.
*The movie Hopscotch on VHS, need to look for it on DVD
*The instruction for the drawstring sheet that came last week
*two magnifers
*Padded envelope and contents, part of a conflict on ebay
*Four of Blades bookmark from Ironwing tarot
*water bill waiting for action.
*the market value notice from the county tax assessor

Just stuff that flows in and out. That bother me every time I sit down just because it exists. While typing I remembered I have two antique wooden in/out boxes upstairs that could be put to better use down here. A pretty junk pile must count as Slogan 27 movement? Then my  2017 Why Not rock reminder and frog card from a friend would be better exhibited?

Thursday, October 5, 2017


Daily Draw: Lojong for the Layperson ~ Slogan 11

We are to take adversity as it comes, and rebuild. We can and do create our own problems, but owning is good. It creates a situation we can work on. Setting the ego aside that swears everything is caused by someone else and then praying someone else fix it... oh, humans....

Following up on Slogan 48. I hate peas. Enough that I was willing to sit at the table alone until 7-8 o'clock until I finished them. I never did, bedtime would release me. Looking back, what I hated was boiled peas. So, thinking about Slogan 48 I bought Green Giant mixed veg steamers.  Granted, these veg are all starch, but they were delicious. Peas marked off the hate list. My mother would be astounded.

Putting my ego in a Steamers bag for five and a half minutes would probably be, a good thing.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017


Daily Draw: Lojong for the Layperson ~ Slogan 19

From the chapter on evaluating our practices, we are asked to review what path we follow. Is it a path based on what everyone else is doing or saying. Ego, even a broken ego can run our life in ways we don't even notice because it is routine.

I have said a number of times what I write here is for me, it doesn't have to make sense, it isn't meant to lecture, I don't care if anyone else reads it.

But I realized last week that apparently I do care. I looked at visitor statistics and saw my traffic dropped by half after my tarot forum closed. My ego keeps pointing me to find out how to up traffic. My little ego keeps slapping my face. Maybe by exposing it in these words that itch will go away.

But I want no you don't but I want no you don't But I I I I....

Tuesday, October 3, 2017


Daily Draw: Lojong for the Layperson ~ Slogan 48

Life without lines in the sand...

Lojong would encourage us to spend time with people we don't particularly like or get along with. To step over the line and do things we think we don't like to do. To try foods we say we hate.

To stop putting ourselves in a box with the lid closed.

Sounds good in theory...I don't even know where to find those people or things or foods...I must have built my box air-tight.

Monday, October 2, 2017

Eat Me Alive

Daily Draw: Lojong for the Layperson ~ Slogan 58

Time and energy, how is it spent? Quality or frivolous?

Life is nothing without some down time. Slogan 58 doesn't ask that I withdraw to a small cave and do Einstein math 24 hours a day. It asks that I be mindful of what I'm doing throughout my day.

The best way I can visualize this is as calories. If I take a bite of something that isn't delicious I spit it in the garbage and say it isn't worth the calories.  I'd like to think that way with my time and energy. Time is short, energy is limited. Be mindful of the little things that eat my life alive.

Sunday, October 1, 2017


Daily Draw: Lojong for the Layperson ~ Slogan 15

Give fully without expectation of return
Sit up straight and own my actions
Recognize emotions at the helm which are less than enriching
Accept guidance offered to regain the best of my humanity

From Chapter three, Transforming Adversity

This summer my tarot forum closed. This summer I drew two kittens into my life. What do they have in common? Last night I realized I'd replaced that on-line time with kitten play time.

This is a good path into the light.

Honcho lays on his back under the bed and pulls himself around and around the space by hooking onto the box spring cover. It looks like smooth effortless dry swimming and he appears to be working up to the Olympics. And it always makes me laugh out loud.

This is a good thing.