I Have A Holey One

Daily Draw: Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Intellect/Hazel

My intellect took me sideways this morning which is often the case; giving my fragile tiny brain a little pat, I went to google to backsearch hazel wood.

Rather than wood properties up top, there was a book, one in a series, called Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert. “She talked like a woman who knew more books than people.” is a quote from the book. Which brought me back to patting my brain.

"never mind little one, what you don't know or remember you can't miss" Sharyn Woerz 10/31/18

Continuing On

Daily Draw: Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Wishes/Apple Blossom

Apples are named as a unicorn's favorite food. Who knew? There are two pages of bibliography with the companion book, I expect I could find the reference there, but being a lazy bum I'll just go with the flow.

After all there is no size or price restrictions on wishes.

Gosh, I've been sitting here for five minutes and only one comes to mind and it isn't nice. I'll come back in a while if I can think or others. If not I'll use the not nice one. I did not know I don't have a wish list as long as my arm.

edited to add: late afternoon. Still only the one wish and if I said it low browed men would send me death threats. Best leave it alone...

Inspiration

Daily Draw: Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Inspiration/Hawthorne

As a quilter? I have three folders with subfolders of photos of quilts on my computer. Full quilts, border ideas, binding ideas, color groups...I don't look through then unless I'm looking for a specific photo and I've never made one of those quilts.

So where does the inspiration come from? I haven't a clue. But I love having all those images and have them saved to a stick if the unthinkable should happen.

As a Weight Watcher (WW)? Anyone who has lost weight in any amount is inspiring. Members who consistently come to workshops. The Freestyle program. Honest, I eat all day and this morning I was the lowest I've been this century.

What inspires you?

Abundance

Daily Draw: Enchanted Spell Oracle ~Abundance/Cinnamon

As is the  norm, the author/artist indicates abundance = financial wealth, stuff running out her ears, cinnamon by the busload.

It was only when I stopped spending that I began to amass my little nest egg. And the less I have to do with the trappings of material wealth the more fulsome my egg becomes.

My doorway and first step to common sense? Mary Hunt, Debt Proof Living. Nothing wrong with abundance but to really appreciate it I had to step way back and rethink my daily life.

It was worth it.

Comfortable

Daily Draw: Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ 9 of Coins/Autumn

Which is the guest here, the little house sparrow or the knitter? Which one is taxed with cleaning and supporting the nest? Perhaps she barters her knit products for their needs. The sparrow can get to and in places that she wouldn't, where juicy seeds and dried berries might be. And opposites attract...he makes sparrow song and she tell good tales.

I know a lot about backyard birds but nothing about fairies. They both look happy and comfortable, what more does anyone require?

Dance With Me

Daily Draw: Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ Queen of Wands/Spring

Joy in living, delight in being alive. In January and February the depression that swallowed me for five years began to lift and then was simply gone.

The innie me is like this queen now. Outtie me is pretty much the same. How fun is that?!

Communication

Daily Draw: Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ 8 of Wands/Spring

Consistent: stance, up/down elbow rotation, hook. anchor points, strong release. Apparently archery was a woman's pastime in the 1800s, Also in Brokenwood and Midsomer. Another consistent? Face the target.

A card often read as communication, these fairy are going to have the same conclusion with words as arrows. Shooting into the sun silhouettes rather than clarifies, and the intended target is behind them. Communication 101 should be mandatory.

Restrictive

Daily Draw: Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ 7 of Cups/Summer

Makes me homesick to watch Lark Rise to Candleford again, the hat ladies were interesting characters.

The point of this card is too many choices, like sixty-two shades of pink lipsticks. There is now pretty much two toothpaste brands but they both have 20 choices per brand. Restaurant menus, all those choices and we choose burger and fries. Relieves the anxiety of making the wrong choice, go with what you know.

Choosing what we know keeps us in the box. A comfortable box but restrictive. I did something yesterday I've never done before in my life. I voted the straight Democratic ticket. It is the only way I know of to make a difference. I'm still embarrassed, but I'll get over it...

Never The Twain

Daily Draw: Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ Judgement/Awakening

Are we capable of judging our self? If not, is that where religion comes in, figuring if we substitute worry for action all our lifetime, the boogeyman will do it at death? No hard decisions?

Nah...we'd have to choose a religion. The one that says only 144,000 people will ever be let into heaven? The ones that say only they will be resurrected? The one that says kill all the infidels, meaning everyone but them? Tough call, they all sound so yummy.

In the meantime Awakening sounds pretty good. Waking up to our actions that harm self or others. And reworking our psyche to be a better person for ourselves. Judgement? I'm wondering why the artist/author chose to dress fairy folken in victorian clothes. I expect because they are pretty, but it leaves me wondering about the dichotomy of the two mixing.

Frankly

Daily Draw: Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ 4 of Wands/Spring

 Rituals and celebrations. I've joined a small group doing moon readings this month. I honestly don't know if I'm capable, and don't think I've done a real reading since May 2017 and I wasn't impressed with that one. Frankly I'm afraid to push my brain.

Hunter Moon October 2018

*****1 What are you hunting for?
***2** How will this nourish you?
3***** What should be considered during the hunt?
*****4 What obstacles will be faced?
***5**  What practices strengthen mental stamina?
6***** What will ground me after the hunt?

Pants On Fire

Daily Draw: Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ 7 of Swords/Winter

Machinations. Tomfoolery. Horseassery. Mischief. In any era stealing a loaf of bread can lead to penalties. And stealing from central stores was even bigger trouble because you endangered the whole, food was the currency of the day.

Over the years I can't count the times people have told me they can't lose weight via Weight Watchers (WW). Sorry, not buying it, they are eating invisible food. The snacking while cooking food, the three cookies they didn't count, the bites of cleaning up someone else's plate. I know because I've done it. Pants on Fire, WW works. Stealing from our own honesty serves no purpose other than eat up self confidence. 

Hooked

Daily Draw: Elements Of Recovery Deck ~ Hindrances

How do we get that hook set in our brain? All the little and big things we do that we wish we didn't. And justify not doing other things we wish or need to do. But there we are the  next day reinforcing the bad habits, hook line and sinker, ignoring the good stuff.

Current hooks? Brach's Harvest Candy Corn. It isn't mine and would be rude to put it out of sight, out of mind, which I can do with my popcorn balls which only hook me about once a week.
My desk is back to a V-shaped conglomeration, total hindrance.
It is well into the tenth month and I still haven't done my first month deck inventory. You probably know where I'm going with this..it is nearly first month again, why not wait.

Trinkets For The Dead

Daily Draw: Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Contentment

Do we even want to be contented? Do we even know what contented means? I have everything I need covers the subject.

In truth I do have the have everything nailed, but it doesn't mean every day some trinket-ish tchotchke doesn't wave at my want-it bone, all bling and glamor and new-smelling.

Not today though, it is autumn gravestones day, change out the cheerful red geraniums for glowing gold and orange chrysanthemums and see that Rob's mom's name and icon have been added to our stone. I have new ornaments for the little shepherd hooks. A beautiful silver trailer for mom and dad, a shiny tractor for Rob's dad and stained glass hearts for his mom. And for my little sister, two girls hugging, one with red hair and one blonde. Trinkets for the dead.

Draftyminded

Daily Draw: Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Open Mindedness


Open: Life partners
Closed: Liars
Open: Clothing
Closed: Religion
Open: Raw food
Closed:

This is harder than you might think. I mostly don't give a hoot what anyone else does, that probably makes me draftyminded.

Easy To Miss

Daily Draw: Elements of Recovery Deck ~Honesty

"Choose your listener with care" ~ Bev King

Ever talked to someone only to realize they didn't hear you? Ask them to repeat what you just said is a good tool for judging whether they are worth baring your soul to.

Not familiar with twelve step programs, when my little brother was working through step eight, I waved him off, said he didn't owe me explanation or apology, never mind, it's all ok.

I'm really sorry I didn't know what he was doing because it weakened the honesty required in the step for him and the impact of his words on me. See the snowshoe rabbit in the image? Much like honest conversation, easy to miss. 

Root Cause

Daily Draw: Elements Of Recovery Deck ~ Forgiveness

What a huge word. A life changer if we are willing to acknowledge it doesn't have anything to do with anyone else.

To forgive there has to be a trigger of hurt or anger.
Recognize nothing going forward will change that.
Carrying anger and hurt around does not create payback.
Accept it is hard work to let something go...and work at it.

Took me a full year. It was easy to catch the loop, hadn't I been cosseting and caressing it? Wasn't that repeating mental litany of anger and hate the meat and potatoes feeding it?
I had to lay in wait for the loop and force myself to think of something else. Sounds simple. It wasn't. But it worked.

I can remember who I was mad at and the root cause, but the rest of it? All gone. And I make sure it stays that way.

Opossum Brain

Daily Draw: Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Discernment

"Wishful, Opinionated, Emotional Thinking" Bev King
Seeing it in black and white, I confess to doing all three of these every day.

I wish I'd never had cancer. It permanently changed the whole outlook of my life. Seven years out from breast cancer, five years out from lung cancer. This year I've listened to myself say things in reference to my being here in thirty years.

A total  opossum-like sham. My stomach is queasy this morning and I expect today it is cancer of the gizzard, no doubt at all. My cancer brain lies there invisible, laughing.

I could get hit by a bus today and be gone. I know that, and don't plan for it. I plan for dying of cancer.

Can't Be Bothered

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 2 of Swords

Equilibrium. There's that word again.  Her boat is taking on water in a stormy sea, yet she is relaxed and confident; she is not involved or responsible.

Brings to mind the 1783 migrants drown to date in 2018.
2830 in 2017.
3709 in 2016.
3153 in 2015.
3064 in 2014.

That is us, lolling in our Sunday go to meeting duds. Uninvolved unresponsible. Uncaring uninformed. Not voting. Can't be bothered, nothing changes. Well, there is the big money to be made by white men selling arms...

Pallbearer

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ Ace of Cups

Daughter, granddaughter, sister-in-law, niece, daughter-in-law, great-granddaughter. I wanted us to carry mom's coffin home. But I got worried we'd drop it. The mortuary owner said "you can do it, she's little". And I didn't do it.

I'm still kicking my butt. I'm sorry mom.

Life Turns In A Moment

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 8 of Cups

Isolation. And putting things in perspective.
Here I am sitting beside the gorgeous Yakima River, sunshine, fair skies. In my pretty little 5th wheel RV, not a  worry in the world and all the comforts of home. 

On the other side of the country, my friend in Georgia (Sycamore Tree on my sidebar) is trying to make sense out of Hurricane Michael and 8 of Cups chaos.
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Thought I'd give you an update while my phone  still has charge
 Albany got the shit kicked out of it. No electricity or running water and the city says the damage is so extensive it will be weeks before it is restored. There are no open stores or gas stations, so we are rationing what we have. Heard of a store not far away that has power (probably generators) so we will check it out at daylight. Trees are all over the streets and there are no traffic lights working anywhere. We've got trees down and will need roof repairs, but at least we don't have a tree on the house or car as so many of our neighbors. Thanks for checking on us.💙🌈
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Never The Twain

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 6 of Coins

Scruples and profits.

Never the twain shall meet. ~ Rudyard Kipling 1898

Consensus

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 3 of Coins

Shared thoughts or ideas forming a consensus.

Sometimes I think only I can understand.
Sometimes I think I'll never understand.

I think sometimes I refuse to understand.
Sometimes a consensus is not possible.
Perhaps all the thoughts and ideas aren't clearly on the table.

Analysis

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 4 of Swords

Analyzation. With serenity. Hard to do. If we care enough about a subject we have a tendency to get actively passionate and invariably take sides.

I'm reminded by this card we can also think we know everything there is to know about a passion, or think it to death, and get lazy, take time off, get bored.

Ah, Balance. But where is the fun in that? 

Companionship

Daily Draw: One Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 2 of Cups

Companionship and shared interests. I have yet to find anyone local that enjoys tarot cards. And only one local quilter although I know there must be more.The guild meets at night and I don't drive at night anymore, oncoming lights are spears in my eyes.

Not whining, I'm happy with  my own company but my point is on-line groups can fill in the gap. There is a nice little tarot group here and for extra fun, a group for RV Quilters on FB. Companionship when we have time for it, two of cups friends. And I spent the weekend policing up my quilt room in readiness for the upcoming Bonnie Hunter quilt mystery, there will be a herd of us doing it. Life is good.

Woman On Offer

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 7 of Cups

Imagination, dreams, obsessions. Which do you think is happening here? He doesn't seem even vaguely interested in the naked woman, more warding her off. If he is a beggar he might think she is messing with his income, if he can afford that woman why does he need my pennies? If I imagine he is a traveler, he was dreaming his water and gruel were hot coffee and fresh bread. And maybe he is just playing mind games with her.

Scherherazade's stories are full of 7 of Cups. Think Sinbad, Aladdin, Ali Baba. I think we all have that much imagination. I'd like to think my cleaning project and the laundry are all finished so I can sit down and sew. I'll picture it as I work.

Stony Bones

Daily Draw: Haindl Tarot ~ 3 of Wands

Worship. The world seems full of ancient bones of stone where people came together to celebrate or cower over old or new brands.

I wonder, if I could trace back to the root where someone's beliefs began, how many would say I do it because my parents did.
I wonder how many vote the way they do because their parents voted that way.
If their children are being raised the way they were raised.
If they are Ford or Chevy people because their parents were.
Do we stay there because it is easier than thinking for ourselves?

Virtue. What is it?
                                                                                                                         

Earth Alchemy

Daily Draw: Haindl Tarot ~ Temperance/Alchemy

Pitted rock against blue sky. enthusiasm and dejection. Having just crisscrossed our  country I've seen this  juxtaposition over and over again.

We were once underwater mountains covered by salted seas.
Salt is alchemy in itself, every living creature requires it to survive.
So is water to air to water to air again. Nature's ecology. I wish I'd started studying this at birth yet I'd still only have grasped a small percentage of it by now. Sometimes awe of Temperance is enough.

Love/Hate

Daily Draw: Haindl Tarot ~ 4 of Swords

The white feather signifying truce. A break from hostilities.

I have a love/hate relationship with  my kindle app.
I have a hate/hate relationship with the new Trump call anytime phone.
I have a love/love relationship with geology.
I have a love/hate relationship with seasons, they go way too fast.

I guess that all evens out, balance/balance

All Over Again

Daily Draw: Haindl Tarot ~ High Priestess

The Magician is the movement, the new knowledge, the unthinkable ideas.
The High Priestess is the calm, rational, think things over option.

I'm reminded by this card of my lightbulb moments and rushing right off to put them into action. I've offered Rob a number of my brilliant ideas while we were on the road, and he only used one of them!I can't hardly believe it.

On the other hand a fragile mind forgets, so I can have all my brilliant ideas all over again.

Agitation

Daily Draw: Haindl Tarot ~ Ace of Swords

The water is the imagination, the Sword is the intelligence, both are required to form action and function. One without the other is simply null.

That is all I've got today, there needs to be some agitation going on and my waters are still.

Tripping

Daily Draw: Haindl Tarot ~ 10 of Coins

Many years ago, on a trip to California we stopped at every quilt shop and I bought fabric. There are no chains or franchises so each is different, a reflection of the owner.

One year we went south via the coastline and I took photos of every lighthouse along the way. That was so fun and the original Webshots once chose it as their album of the day.

This trip it has been museums and great houses, wildly different subjects and always fascinating. The only things we've bought outside of fuel and groceries and RV park fees are a giant coffee mug for me and a replacement belt for Rob. And it snowed like mad yesterday, here in the Montana high country.

Times change, we still have everything we need.