Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Easy To Miss

Daily Draw: Elements of Recovery Deck ~Honesty

"Choose your listener with care" ~ Bev King

Ever talked to someone only to realize they didn't hear you? Ask them to repeat what you just said is a good tool for judging whether they are worth baring your soul to.

Not familiar with twelve step programs, when my little brother was working through step eight, I waved him off, said he didn't owe me explanation or apology, never mind, it's all ok.

I'm really sorry I didn't know what he was doing because it weakened the honesty required in the step for him and the impact of his words on me. See the snowshoe rabbit in the image? Much like honest conversation, easy to miss. 

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Root Cause

Daily Draw: Elements Of Recovery Deck ~ Forgiveness

What a huge word. A life changer if we are willing to acknowledge it doesn't have anything to do with anyone else.

To forgive there has to be a trigger of hurt or anger.
Recognize nothing going forward will change that.
Carrying anger and hurt around does not create payback.
Accept it is hard work to let something go...and work at it.

Took me a full year. It was easy to catch the loop, hadn't I been cosseting and caressing it? Wasn't that repeating mental litany of anger and hate the meat and potatoes feeding it?
I had to lay in wait for the loop and force myself to think of something else. Sounds simple. It wasn't. But it worked.

I can remember who I was mad at and the root cause, but the rest of it? All gone. And I make sure it stays that way.

Monday, October 15, 2018

Opossum Brain

Daily Draw: Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Discernment

"Wishful, Opinionated, Emotional Thinking" Bev King
Seeing it in black and white, I confess to doing all three of these every day.

I wish I'd never had cancer. It permanently changed the whole outlook of my life. Seven years out from breast cancer, five years out from lung cancer. This year I've listened to myself say things in reference to my being here in thirty years.

A total  opossum-like sham. My stomach is queasy this morning and I expect today it is cancer of the gizzard, no doubt at all. My cancer brain lies there invisible, laughing.

I could get hit by a bus today and be gone. I know that, and don't plan for it. I plan for dying of cancer.

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Can't Be Bothered

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 2 of Swords

Equilibrium. There's that word again.  Her boat is taking on water in a stormy sea, yet she is relaxed and confident; she is not involved or responsible.

Brings to mind the 1783 migrants drown to date in 2018.
2830 in 2017.
3709 in 2016.
3153 in 2015.
3064 in 2014.

That is us, lolling in our Sunday go to meeting duds. Uninvolved unresponsible. Uncaring uninformed. Not voting. Can't be bothered, nothing changes. Well, there is the big money to be made by white men selling arms...

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Pallbearer

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ Ace of Cups

Daughter, granddaughter, sister-in-law, niece, daughter-in-law, great-granddaughter. I wanted us to carry mom's coffin home. But I got worried we'd drop it. The mortuary owner said "you can do it, she's little". And I didn't do it.

I'm still kicking my butt. I'm sorry mom.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Life Turns In A Moment

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 8 of Cups

Isolation. And putting things in perspective.
Here I am sitting beside the gorgeous Yakima River, sunshine, fair skies. In my pretty little 5th wheel RV, not a  worry in the world and all the comforts of home. 

On the other side of the country, my friend in Georgia (Sycamore Tree on my sidebar) is trying to make sense out of Hurricane Michael and 8 of Cups chaos.
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Thought I'd give you an update while my phone  still has charge
 Albany got the shit kicked out of it. No electricity or running water and the city says the damage is so extensive it will be weeks before it is restored. There are no open stores or gas stations, so we are rationing what we have. Heard of a store not far away that has power (probably generators) so we will check it out at daylight. Trees are all over the streets and there are no traffic lights working anywhere. We've got trees down and will need roof repairs, but at least we don't have a tree on the house or car as so many of our neighbors. Thanks for checking on us.💙🌈
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Thursday, October 11, 2018

Never The Twain

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 6 of Coins

Scruples and profits.

Never the twain shall meet. ~ Rudyard Kipling 1898

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Consensus

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 3 of Coins

Shared thoughts or ideas forming a consensus.

Sometimes I think only I can understand.
Sometimes I think I'll never understand.

I think sometimes I refuse to understand.
Sometimes a consensus is not possible.
Perhaps all the thoughts and ideas aren't clearly on the table.

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Analysis

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 4 of Swords

Analyzation. With serenity. Hard to do. If we care enough about a subject we have a tendency to get actively passionate and invariably take sides.

I'm reminded by this card we can also think we know everything there is to know about a passion, or think it to death, and get lazy, take time off, get bored.

Ah, Balance. But where is the fun in that? 

Monday, October 8, 2018

Companionship

Daily Draw: One Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 2 of Cups

Companionship and shared interests. I have yet to find anyone local that enjoys tarot cards. And only one local quilter although I know there must be more.The guild meets at night and I don't drive at night anymore, oncoming lights are spears in my eyes.

Not whining, I'm happy with  my own company but my point is on-line groups can fill in the gap. There is a nice little tarot group here and for extra fun, a group for RV Quilters on FB. Companionship when we have time for it, two of cups friends. And I spent the weekend policing up my quilt room in readiness for the upcoming Bonnie Hunter quilt mystery, there will be a herd of us doing it. Life is good.

Sunday, October 7, 2018

Woman On Offer

Daily Draw: Thousand and One Nights Tarot ~ 7 of Cups

Imagination, dreams, obsessions. Which do you think is happening here? He doesn't seem even vaguely interested in the naked woman, more warding her off. If he is a beggar he might think she is messing with his income, if he can afford that woman why does he need my pennies? If I imagine he is a traveler, he was dreaming his water and gruel were hot coffee and fresh bread. And maybe he is just playing mind games with her.

Scherherazade's stories are full of 7 of Cups. Think Sinbad, Aladdin, Ali Baba. I think we all have that much imagination. I'd like to think my cleaning project and the laundry are all finished so I can sit down and sew. I'll picture it as I work.

Saturday, October 6, 2018

Stony Bones

Daily Draw: Haindl Tarot ~ 3 of Wands

Worship. The world seems full of ancient bones of stone where people came together to celebrate or cower over old or new brands.

I wonder, if I could trace back to the root where someone's beliefs began, how many would say I do it because my parents did.
I wonder how many vote the way they do because their parents voted that way.
If their children are being raised the way they were raised.
If they are Ford or Chevy people because their parents were.
Do we stay there because it is easier than thinking for ourselves?

Virtue. What is it?
                                                                                                                         

Friday, October 5, 2018

Earth Alchemy

Daily Draw: Haindl Tarot ~ Temperance/Alchemy

Pitted rock against blue sky. enthusiasm and dejection. Having just crisscrossed our  country I've seen this  juxtaposition over and over again.

We were once underwater mountains covered by salted seas.
Salt is alchemy in itself, every living creature requires it to survive.
So is water to air to water to air again. Nature's ecology. I wish I'd started studying this at birth yet I'd still only have grasped a small percentage of it by now. Sometimes awe of Temperance is enough.

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Love/Hate

Daily Draw: Haindl Tarot ~ 4 of Swords

The white feather signifying truce. A break from hostilities.

I have a love/hate relationship with  my kindle app.
I have a hate/hate relationship with the new Trump call anytime phone.
I have a love/love relationship with geology.
I have a love/hate relationship with seasons, they go way too fast.

I guess that all evens out, balance/balance

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

All Over Again

Daily Draw: Haindl Tarot ~ High Priestess

The Magician is the movement, the new knowledge, the unthinkable ideas.
The High Priestess is the calm, rational, think things over option.

I'm reminded by this card of my lightbulb moments and rushing right off to put them into action. I've offered Rob a number of my brilliant ideas while we were on the road, and he only used one of them!I can't hardly believe it.

On the other hand a fragile mind forgets, so I can have all my brilliant ideas all over again.

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Agitation

Daily Draw: Haindl Tarot ~ Ace of Swords

The water is the imagination, the Sword is the intelligence, both are required to form action and function. One without the other is simply null.

That is all I've got today, there needs to be some agitation going on and my waters are still.

Monday, October 1, 2018

Tripping

Daily Draw: Haindl Tarot ~ 10 of Coins

Many years ago, on a trip to California we stopped at every quilt shop and I bought fabric. There are no chains or franchises so each is different, a reflection of the owner.

One year we went south via the coastline and I took photos of every lighthouse along the way. That was so fun and the original Webshots once chose it as their album of the day.

This trip it has been museums and great houses, wildly different subjects and always fascinating. The only things we've bought outside of fuel and groceries and RV park fees are a giant coffee mug for me and a replacement belt for Rob. And it snowed like mad yesterday, here in the Montana high country.

Times change, we still have everything we need.