Saturday, March 23, 2019

Necessity or Option?

Ananda Tarot ~ 10 of Wands/Flames

In Thothy-speak, oppression. This can be unjust treatment or control, or mental pressure or distress. For me this often relates to the weight of Stuff, and the impetus for years of downsizing what I worked so hard and spent so many dollars to gather. I've been at it for nineteen years, and like anything practiced, letting go of Stuff is a process at which I've become quite skilled.

My cousin has chosen to do something with her boxes of paper napkins, collected since she was ten years old. Accepting they have less than zero value to anyone else in the world, they are dear to her heart. Just deciding to do something about/with them is a step, when they have become oppression rather than pleasure, stuff rather than treasure trove.

I wish her well and honor her effort. 10 of Wands, telling us to move along, the load is not a necessity but an option. 

Friday, March 22, 2019


Ananda Tarot ~ 8 of Cups

Pouring out outmoded mindsets.
"It's a process." Billy Crystal, Analyze That

In 2010 a co-operative Frankendecken Tarot was assembled, 78 cards, each from a different deck. I've had the compiled CD since then. Haven't even looked at it.

Yesterday, with a new color ink cartridge I let the idea go that it was too expensive to print Franken. I had to exercise my brain to figure out how to do it, it's been Years since I've printed out something besides an invoice or confirmation or short PDF. I'm excited to trim my new deck today, I might take my scissors and corner trimmer and go down to the marina and sit in the sun, examine each card from four different perspectives...and think about what else I haven't done, that I could do. Pouring out, filling in. 

Thursday, March 21, 2019


Ananda Tarot ~ 3 of Wands/Flames

I've banged on for years  about balance, but it's often forced, unnatural, giving up one thing to have another. It is good to recognize and do, it gives us power over our days, builds character as mother would say.

But. And there is always the dreaded but...I  recognize in my year word Equilibrium there is harmony, the oft forgotten part of the trio. In this Cone of Silence I've donned, shutting out the whole discord of the world, little corners of my brain are unfolding, small soft voices being allowed to speak I'm not sure I knew were there.

Have I set off a doomsday machine in my mind? Can we cope with knowing who we are rather than who we think we are? 

Wednesday, March 20, 2019


Ananda Tarot ~ 10 of Spheres                     Art by Amanda Jane Clark

Full moon and spring equinox, a 10 of Spheres day indeed. 
When we want little, much is found. 

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Embellished Brain

Ananda Tarot ~ 8 of Swords

In the Thothy tradition this is Interference but I'm not catching that vibe here. Going to the companion book I'm finding octagons and baptismal fonts. Ehh? And, the mind can set us free or, because we work so hard at it, misdirect and disguise allowing us to misunderstand and deny.

I sent a bunch of gifts out this week and one came back as refused. Lip trembling, pretty sure as a Witness, she'd finally got around to shunning me. Figuring a sword to the heart was better than a misdirected mind I scanned it and emailed her asking what was up. She had no idea and was her usual best friend self.

How much of our bad times come from self-embellished mental interference? 

Monday, March 18, 2019

Crow and Kit

Ananda Tarot ~ 5 of Wands/Flames

The 5 of Wands speaks of practice conflict, training, games that teach us how to protect, not maim...But this hand swipe makes me wonder how many piles of unintentional (or was it) hurt I've left behind me as I've moved through life with my smartass mouth.

I worked hard to leave behind crippling eggshell sensitivity, turned myself into a tough old crow with impenetrable heart. Yet time has had the last laugh and here I am again, back where I started, not sleeping because some animal may be hungry, some child might have a too tight sock cutting off circulation.

In the daytime I'm still the crow with a big stick, but at night I'm the abandoned kit with no tools at all. 

Sunday, March 17, 2019


Ananda Tarot ~ 2 of Coins

I can talk about equilibrium all I want but perspective is what has been in short supply. I've gotten smarter this past month, standing so far back from the world as to be removed.

This is a good thing. A good lesson, reminder, kick in the pants. The world doesn't need me, but I don't need it either. In all the ways that have created havoc and harm anyway. 

Saturday, March 16, 2019


Art of Life Tarot ~ 9 of Swords

I was so disappointed. I was crushed. I was gutted.
This card speaks of those times, when we curl up in a ball fleeing the circumstances entirely. Kick the refrigerator, punch the accelerator, scream at whoever is dumb enough to be closest.

Like the times we win, survive, come out on top, when grabbing a passing stranger in a hug seems the most natural thing to do. Moments to savor and remember. Moreso because we know the gutted times, the balance between the two become part of a bittersweet existence shared by humanity. Which ones we allow to pierce and drain and which we allow to fill are what shape our days and years. 

Friday, March 15, 2019

Falala Bucket

Art of Life Tarot ~ 6 of Coins

My dad was a good samaritan sort of guy all his life. 
In the early 70's, on the way home from work there was a wreck right in front of him. He stopped, the parents were dead, there was a little boy who survived. Dad pulled him out, wrapped him in his coat and they sat and waited for first responders. Back then, someone had to stop at a shop or house and call for help, it took awhile. 

That wait with that little boy haunted my dad for years. I've often wondered if the boy had any memory of the day at all and if he ever wondered who that man was, who wrapped him in his coat and then his arms and was just, there. 

Giving can come with a cost, it isn't all putting anonymous coins in a falala bucket. 

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Invigorate and Unsettle

Art of Life Tarot ~ 2 of Wands

In very subtle but striking ways my life is evolving differently since I had my Slip Away time.

The process of gifting myself time to think, or rather forcing myself into a corner where I have to think, has offered new directions. On old streets. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm glad I took the turning.

Reacquainting myself with an younger version of Sharyn has been reinvigorating in an intimidating and unsettling way...did I ever really take the time to do all this stuff? When did I quit? Why did I quit, when did I get to the point where so many things didn't matter anymore? 

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Unbridled, Something.

Art Of Life Tarot ~ Judgment

There is a line by Peter Davison in Death in Paradise that says "we sit behind our laptop in our pants and...", it always makes me laugh because it is such an odd thing to say. But like Judgment, we lurk behind our skull wall and judge our brains out based on our own peculiarities.

I've always thought individually we are all loose cannons, our minds get up to tricks that wouldn't make sense in the light of cold logic. But I've had faith in our people as a nation to find the center ground where common sense lives, one of our greatest strengths.

I've lost that bedrock and I feel like this head on the moon, with too much space for, I don't know, unbridled, something. I'm frightened. Which is foolish, the world doesn't owe me common sense. 

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Flat Wheels

Art Of Life Tarot ~ Chariot

In 1878 how daring was it to go up in this balloon? To get on a ship from Europe, go around the bottom of the world, and beach on an island in the Pacific? Yet at that moment in time it was both modern, done, and therefore the norm. Space flight is probably the only real adventure now that hasn't been done to death by everyone's neighbor and their dogs.

Yet none of the three even in 2019 are what I'd chose to do. Does my life Chariot have flat wheels? No wheels? Sitting here thinking, my Chariot is my mind and that travel only seems limited to what I'm willing to fuel it with. And there are a lot of places I just won't go. I don't want dirt in my brain, or more pain in my heart, or wants I can't fill. My balloon might lift a mouse. I'm dissatisfied with that but I recognize I have limits. And that is a good place for me to be. 

Monday, March 11, 2019

Too Small For Heavy Work

Art of Life Tarot ~ 4 of Swords

Pioneer farms, no fences, Townies, with survival livestock. Children too small to do heavy work or school had the job of grazing them. My father-in-law walked their milk cow a few miles to a public field and creek and spent the day there with her, then walked her home every night to the back yard.

Talk about no mind clutter...was clarity a result? An admirable quilter, Grace McCance Snyder (1882-1992) had this childhood job, she took a lard tin with bits of fabric, needle, and thread with her. Went on to make world famous quilts. If we still our minds, then bestir our stumps, imagine what we could accomplish.  

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Freaked, Squirming, Flustered

Art of Life Tarot ~ 8 of Coins

A painting of Van Gogh painting, by Paul Gauguin.

I freaked out when other hairdressers asked me to do their hair.
I squirm when other quilters look closely at my quilts.
I get flustered when Rob, a professional driver, rides with me.

I wonder why that is, when I am confident in my skills.
When it is just me anyway. 

Saturday, March 9, 2019

Brain Tangles

Druid Animal Oracle ~ Blackbird

The Gateway, and the inner call. Hidden motivations, and potential. A veritable banquet of words, a day's worth of rumination. Hidden motivations. Scary to go there.

Looking further into the ogham Rowan:
Physical: distinguish good from bad, harm from help.
Mental: remain mindful, not swayed, tricked or beguiled.
Spiritual: use strengths to hold purpose and serenity.

Rather than on the face of stone, ogham was written around the edges. The edge being the backbone of each letter. The hidden in plain sight motivation of location. My brain tangles; do I have hidden motivations? The advice of the ogham will surely  root it out, pound it to a pulp, let it be slung away. 

Friday, March 8, 2019

Cattails And Cabin Fever

Druid Animal Oracle ~ Salmon

The ogham is nGĂ©adal, the sedge, reed, bulrush, cattail. In modern times ignored or named weed. In not so distant times a natural food source.

I've been thinking about basics this week, contemplating the roots of conundrums, an oxymoron? I can complicate matters rapidly, thinking too much. Reversing the process also requires thinking.

Winter. Cabin fever. Take a ride on the fresh air express.  I need to walk the seven miles it takes to mow my lawn. Go down to the slough to look at cattails, brown and rustling, listen for the return of the red wing blackbirds there. 

Thursday, March 7, 2019

This Votive Offering

Druid Animal Oracle ~ Owl

Those little keyfobs? Votive offerings. (from wiki: objects displayed or deposited, without the intention of recovery or use), often sacred in intent.

My first experience with this was in a Native Peoples cemetery on the Bella Coola Road, British Columbia as a little kid. Grave goods, pirate treasure to my child mind, but dad set me straight about their honor and sacredness, to leave them be. Made a deep impression and I seem to have always done it myself since, leaving special things behind at gravestones and in nature.

Not for me to be remembered but to hold in my own memory, this person was unique, this tree is a miracle. This spot, this token holds part of my Earth heart. 

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Be The Grain

Druid Animal Oracle ~ Stag

My eye is drawn to the conical peak. Usually one-off in a landscape. This was probably already old in Druid times, 2nd century BC; new construction in world time.

You and I could chose to be druids, Druidism being a shamanic religion. with courses being offered. A hot business today, spiritual training up. With levels to keep your cash coming back.

I have no truck with religion, and not a competitive bone in my body so the challenge of getting to be the Stag is outside my realm of understanding. But I do always, daily, consistently, strive to be better than I was the day before.  Which proves I'm no better, no worse, no different than the entire world population. Be the grain of sand Sharyn, be the grain. But be the best grain you can be. 

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Rethinking Thinks

Druid Animal Oracle ~ Bee

I see a stone foot at the gateway to the mead circling hall. I'm supposed to notice the heather and Ur ogham.

I'm reminded by this card I often see what I expect to see at the exclusion of what might really be there, form my opinions, and get all het up, when more open minded observation might better serve.

I'll take comfort in our blue sky and sun this day, that a few bees still remain, rethink some of my thinks. Just because I seem to have chosen to be nonplussed and horrified doesn't mean I must be. Reaffirming a harmful mindset doesn't seem in accord with this card. A bee goes about it's business, man makes mead, life goes on. So should I. Peacefully. It can't be that hard.

Monday, March 4, 2019

X Tinct

Druid Animal Oracle ~ Frog

Mamals. Inscets. Anfibians. Carreening toward extinction.
So much to worry about, at this date too late to reverse.
So I'll worry about the four words above with glaring red lines under them. Is spell check extincting my brain?

I doubt it, folk got along with an X for a signature, no sweat, didn't mean they weren't smart, just undereducated. And yes, that is my stab at those four words. Pitious.

My personal extinction goal today is the last box of Rob's diesel engine manuals. Waiting in the 2019 queue. Now the VW Bug sized pile surrounding it is gone, doesn't look like much of a job at all. Then a milkcrate of vintage crochet patterns garnered from a 1972 ad in the Valley Times Newspaper. Also extinct. Life. Treasure every day. 

Sunday, March 3, 2019

See A Space

Druid Animal Oracle ~ Hawk

I've found hawk feathers. Meaning? Lighter, moving on.
Eighteen bookshelves. Empty. One half shelf w/seven quilt books, seven childrens books, a stack of journals, twenty-two bookends, obsolete.

Mentally I've accepted the reality of my bent eyes, and have moved on, knowing it could be so much worse. But I've wept a lot of tears over the loss of my physical books. Me, who wouldn't be caught dead crying.

Dusting all that empty space yesterday, I had a idea. My down-to-the-end-of-the-fabric strings are sorted by color in clear shoeboxes. Wouldn't they be pretty on the bookshelves at the entrance of the quilt room?

See a space, fill it up. The found feather, the American Way.

Saturday, March 2, 2019

1/2 A Cent Each

Tarot Egyptien Oracle of the Dames ~ Queen of Coins
#65 A relative who lives in the country is very rich and will send gifts.

If only! I don't believe I have any rich relatives, but then the idea of rich is all relative isn't it? There is always someone who has more than we do so they seem rolling in it. And I'm always impressed at how little we can live on if we put our mind to it or circumstances require.

I was late beginning my journey to common sense financial stewardship. It is the petty thinker me that sabotages big bucks...Rob loves his paper goods and he uses paper towels in crazy ways. As cutting boards for one. Drying the silverware for another. A few twists to start his garage stove. I have a stack of cutting boards and a fresh tea towel is always at the ready. We drown in junk paper.

So I worked out what his individual paper towel cost, ready to beard the lion for sheer wastefulness. 1/2 a cent each is what I came up with, maybe  5 cents a day. And it gives him so much pleasure to have his stash. There are 100% better ways to direct my budgetary ideas... 

Friday, March 1, 2019


Tarot Egyptien Oracle of the Dames ~ Prudence

There she and her viper are, facing forward, yet looking backwards in her mirror, still all ready to be vituperative. What has happened is done, no do overs, just consequences. Get off the cross, we need the wood, maybe he will do us all a favor and drop dead.

My winter out-of-the-loop vacation was good, got the hall and entry painted, bathroom (red!) is finished, new led lights, dug out old pictures and hung them (NW Indian art), kitted up a whole sunflower quilt for travel time, cleaned and touched up things that haven't had attention for years, proactive progress in getting ahead of my eyes. Written at least six letters. Read a dozen or more books, some thought provoking, some already forgotten...The 52-Hertz whale haunts my thoughts.

New favorite app? Veraxen JigSaw. Purchased so I can use my own photos, and favorites from the web so the difficulty can be minimal or to the point of self abusive

Could I live without the internet and it's unrelenting bad news and complete brain clutter? Absolutely. I'd miss bookbub. And email. And instant information when in info-junkie mode. Nothing else I can think of. Prudence, a good idea. 

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Slip Away

Tarot Egyptien Oracle of the Dames ~ Support and Protection

So much to say, so little point.
The world has drained me this month, even more than the usual.
I rail that we can be so blind. So callous. So self centered and self serving. So utterly cruel to those who need support and protection.
It is nothing new, it is apparently the only nature humans can summon.
I fail to be a better human by doing nothing but think myself sick.

I'm going to slip away for a little while.
Give my own well a chance to refill with something stronger than despair and gentler than rage. 

Friday, February 15, 2019

Biggest. Money. Ever.

Tarot Egyptien Oracle of the Dames ~ Knight of Coins

#66 If drawn for a soldier this card is a sign of peace. If drawn for a young girl next to #33 danger awaits.

On the other hand, the non-fortune telling hand, it is a good looking horse and a coin...perhaps a night on the town is in order.

There is a thought for a busy leader, mint bigger money, the lowlies will think they have more of it. The biggest money ever. 

Thursday, February 14, 2019

So Soon?

Tarot Egyptien Oracle of the Dames ~ 6 of Swords

#56 If this card is near #4 you risk being attacked by a gang of thieves.

Another government election, so soon? Paddle harder...

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Guilty Improvidence

Tarot Egyptien Oracle of the Dames ~ 9 of Wands

#27 Interests in a distant shipment being compromised by guilty improvidence. An Amazon shipment slowed by a drunk driver?

I'm waiting for the towel rack for the new bathroom. It probably should have been here by now. Is this fortune telling? At it's worst. Enough truth and no way to verify it isn't.

Life is short and daylight's burning. 

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Be A Spy Or Be Spied Upon

Tarot Egyptien Oracle of the Dames ~ Page/Jack of Swords

#53 Lack of foresight, beset by a spy.

I never had a job that paid high enough or was important enough to make it worth someone's while to mess with. But I often worked just below it, and watching the jockeying and positioning and one upmanship that goes on was a combination of errpness and comedy.

You learn early on if you don't want to get dirty stay out of it, or to jump in early and swim. So many choices in life, based on complicated delicate psyche. 

Monday, February 11, 2019

$21.974 Trillion

Tarot Egyptien Oracle of the Dames ~ 2 of Coins

A fortune teller's deck indeed.
#76  It isn't work causing the heavy burden, it is your friends. Consult Tarot more often because your spirit is too worried.

People do use the cards this way, reading obsessively on one or two subjects. Affairs of the heart being the number one subject. Finance related probably number two.

If I could reboot the school system it would be to add financial common sense courses. From grade one.  Then we'd see why $21.974 trillion in national debt is unsustainable. We deserve what is coming. We worked so hard to get to this vote at a time. 

Sunday, February 10, 2019

Tone Deaf

Tarot Egyptien Oracle of the Dames ~ 3 of Swords

#61 Persistently mismanaging resources, careless behavior.

If we don't learn from consequences what do we learn from?
As Dr. Phil says "how's that workin' for you?"
Thickheaded? = Lots of 3 of Swords life events. Culminating in 8 Swords, 9 Swords, 10 Swords. The really sad part? We seldom take just ourselves down, we also harm those around us. 

Saturday, February 9, 2019

Non-standard Happy Families

Pagan Otherworlds ~ 10 of Cups

 Thursday's suggested day of relaxation with Friday's thoughtful examination of details, morphed into the Veterans Memorial Museum in Chehalis Washington. Right on the interstate, a place I've meant to visit for twenty years and hadn't. Shame, it is worth the time, and repeated visits are in order.

Which leads to the 10 of Cups and the suggestion of a close family, often waving goodbye. Rob's been cleaning out his bookshelves and albums and magazines. There is a pile developing of important, what the hell to do with it. Serendipity...the veterans memorial wants it. For sure, his family won't, even the artifacts dating back a century+.
We'll be waving goodbye, in our usual non-standard happy families way. 

Friday, February 8, 2019

Impermanent Position

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot ~ King of Cups

Brain in low gear, just hanging out. maybe doing something no one watching understands. That celebrity style hype missing. That non-reality sensationalism gone.

This is a odd framed portrait of a King. Taking note of the little things, impressed with the handwork in his robe or the loss of life required to provide it. Sitting in an impermanent tidal position, alone with his thoughts, recognizing humans are short-timers, having that 4 of Swords day he missed yesterday. A healthy Rx for everyone.

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Jammie Day, Not

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot ~ 4 of Swords

Slept in to 5 AM. Popped out of bed, made my ablutions as mother would say, made my coffee, shuffled and drew, and kind of wilted. On my to-do list this morning is fling the audible book pile to ebay, the ones that weren't up to the paper ones they replaced.

Ebay was fun in the years I parted out personal estates, now, just a place to work with no idea what or if payday will result, and a lot of ways to screw up or get screwed. So this card and a glance at that pile shouted Jammie Day (avoidance)...instead.

Perhaps rather a carrot on a stick. A morning drive tomorrow, freezing crisp, blue sky, sunshine. A favorite kind of day and it has been a long time since I've had an Artist Date. And  the listed pile won't be staring me in the right ear, it will be moved to the let the money roll in space. (Y) in gear, rest another day.

edited, later: 13 books, 1 hour 20 minutes. Finished. Such a crybaby...

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Toe In The Rivlet

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot ~ Temperance

My name is Sharyn and I have a hair-trigger temper.
Once I learned how destructive it can be to myself and others, I've leashed, stomped, drowned, beaten it back, get it offa me day in day out.

But perhaps I'm like Hulk's Dr. Banner. I'm always angry, not suddenly angry. A small difference of viewpoint. Toe in the water. A small rivlet of steady anger management.

If I were perfect I couldn't stand myself. It would probably make me angry. 

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Hindsight in 3-D

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot ~ 6 of Swords

In 2019 reading this 6 of Swords post from 2008 referencing 1990, I can read the story in reverse. The whys. The reactions. The results. What I learned, what I'll never do again, not in a billion years. That result shifted my craft to places I'd wish it hadn't, but the choices made perhaps saved my life in the end. We'll see if I feel the same way in 2028.

One thing that won't change is how much stuff I'm willing to haul. My boat is small, but can still carry everything I need. And one of the swords is a steering pole, where it goes is my choice not the current. 

Monday, February 4, 2019


Pagan Otherworlds Tarot ~ Ace of Cups

New contemplations. Why do our feelings come into it? Why an aversion toward or attraction to? Why like buttons?  Why was a lily pad designed with a split? A drain system. My first thought was easier access for frogs. Maybe, no reason there can't be two or ten reasons for how or why anything works.

I doubt there are many virgin thoughts. Humans don't live long enough to finish the ones we get. But they are free, infinitely moldable and expandable. What a nice way to start a new week; where can we squeeze it too get the best part parts out, or the sour over with? 

Sunday, February 3, 2019

Wrong Bus

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot ~ Tower

Suppose she fell silently or did that dress whiffle and snap in the wind? I wonder why she was up there? Were the wallbound spiral stairs still intact? Would something this ancient still have the exposed beams? Or is the disrepair recent war damage. Or was it suicide, or murder, specific or immaterial to the location?

After a Tower event we can look backward and find the trail that led to this moment. Sometimes we just happen to be crossing the street in front of a bus. Wrong place, wrong time. 

Saturday, February 2, 2019

Life. Can't Live Without It

Tree Wisdom Cards ~ Worry

At 12:00 AM I was worrying about wounded vets, spineless politicians, dams and earthquakes, and where my little brother is.

at 12:00 PM I was worrying about shot weed and paint colors and filling bobbins, and where my little brother is.

Life. Can't live without it.

Friday, February 1, 2019

January Done And Dusted

Tree Wisdom Cards ~ Possibilities

What will I learn this month?
Where will I go?
Who will I talk to ?

Nothing mind boggling I expect. Most of life is small moments, progress, and events. I hit the ground running that now gone month in the new year. Freeing stuff up freed up the mind, always the case.

I jerked myself out of little potholes, the kind that can become energy sinkholes. Didn't manage the MP3 player and I think my $30.00  I want back from the ITunes app store is history, but they have  no idea what that will cost them in the long run. I have a long memory...for some things. 

Thursday, January 31, 2019


Tree Wisdom Cards ~ Imagination

A silver birch stand is a stunning sight. Their life span just 40-60 years, stillborn compared to some of the worlds Bristlecone pines.

Planted along the entrance to my medical center, something worth going there for; their papery bark peels each year, bronze in youth, white in maturity. I get sidetracked, savoring with my eyes.

What could the human mind create that would be as imaginative as nature provides freely each day? 

Wednesday, January 30, 2019


Tree Wisdom Cards ~ Balance

Finding time, finding balance. Not gonna happen.

Make time, make balance.

With busted eyes Vrksasana and escalators aren't an option.
So I do wobbly sapling and stairs. Up to me to find the balance that serves.  

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Taking Responsibiity

Tree Wisdom Deck ~ Oneness

The only thing that came to mind while I waited 45 minutes for connectivity to wake up was long time couples. Rob and I think as one about a lot of things. Riffing on our similarities from birth. Our sharp differences make our oneness engaging and worth getting up for.

The deck creator would have oneness taking responsibility for our own life and health, to live in a positive manner. I can do that.

Weight Watchers workshops are free this week. Have a visit!
On a world scale, have a thought for the Baobab trees. If the earth is not healthy, we are doomed. 

Monday, January 28, 2019


Wisdom Cards ~ Liberate

Liberated mind.
Slamming my quilt books through ebay has given me a $600.00 book fund. The + side of the - side. In synchronicity two books came into my hands I thought I'd never find. One visial, one audible. Snapped them up without blinking a busted eye.

Liberated home. Out with the physical damage mother's dementia left on our home has helped let that mother free. Maybe I had to live with it four years to clear the path for something else to come in. Maybe it was penance.

Liberated life. The day after total responsibility for mother lifted we got in the car and left for three weeks. I had time to visit with a dear friend in Mississippi before she lost the fight to cancer. I hold that visit and that time on the road as the first step on the long road to mental recovery.  Probably responsible for saving my own life. 

Sunday, January 27, 2019

Small Smile

Tree Wisdom Cards ~ Serenity

My friend Theresa, in her 80's, began to nod off through the day. But there was always a small smile on her face. No slack-jawed drool business going on.

When I was twenty-two a gentleman in his 80's said "pardon me ma'am, are you a recent widow? Your face is so sad." I was having the time of my life, a cuppa in hand and people watching. He was a recent widower and thought he recognized a fellow traveler.

In between Elena Brower said in a yoga video, "soft face, small smile".

All that said to say, I work on presenting soft face small smile. Outside in and back out. Present serenity, it will come. 

Saturday, January 26, 2019


Prisma Visions Tarot ~ Moon


I like that.
Via match?
Probably. I yam what I yam.

Sounds good.

Friday, January 25, 2019


Prisma Visions Tarot ~ 10 of Coins

Lush. Happyland. Everything they could want.
While I've been sitting here working I've been glancing over at this card in the morning queue, gathering thought seeds for the post.

Someone lying down, eyes and mouth covered with black tape, total disorder roiling across the brain. This is how I feel under the cloud cover of too much stuff, too many choices, wants vs. needs, acquisitions running the show.  Now that vision is in I can't get it out.

I'll superimpose this image with my walk down in the forest Wednesday. Nothing but natural neutral nature. Lush. Happyland. Everything I could want. Reminders are good. So is simple. 

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Channeling The Inner Empress

Prisma Visions Tarot ~ Empress

A week full of ruling class draws. The term turns the stomach...and what does that say to and about me? And the Empress, dogging me.  "Receiving and reflecting the natural world" (James Eads) or has that always been the seed of the Empress and I can't get past the whole mommyism vs the poor pitiful childless woman?
 Many of my good friends are childless. Not sought deliberately. Odd that, in a world awash with children.

Back to reflecting the natural world, I've been working on my naturescape table this week; this is a favorite new gathering. Abalone shell my father-in-law brought home from the South Pacific in 1938. Yellow rose buds from my own roses, fresh moss and lichen from my own forest, and a downed nest from our farm. Lovely. My own forest, my own farm. I mean from the real world that belongs to no one and every one. Channeling the inner empress. 

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Phallic Symbol

Prisma Tarot ~ King of Coins/Pentacles

When James Eads published the first edition of his deck in 2013 this card would have made me scratch my head. Fast forward to the 2018 fourth edition and this is our world.

The only thing missing is the forty inch necktie phallic symbol. 

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Out Of Mind

Prisma Vision Tarot ~ King of Swords

Here he is, mindlessly thinking himself the king of it all...little minds never see the full picture, too wrapped up in self.

An easy place to get to, starts with the comfort zone where life is easy. No need to take in to consideration anyone else's problems or terrors. No need to confront reality. Why should we; out of sight, out of mind.