Sunday, June 16, 2019

Creeps Seeps Wicks

Children of Litha Tarot ~ Star

Transformation after destruction. Wind seemingly out of nowhere, then gone again leaving missing houses, flat forests and crushed people not where they were.

Fires can burn for weeks here leaving thousands of acres grey with black stubs and stumps, squares where homes stood, guarded by hulks of unpaid for autos.

But water. It creeps and seeps and wicks. Across miles of flatlands obliterating crops, into neighborhoods and towns inching up steps, across doorways. leaving a blanket of mucky silt and riverbed life.

And then the Star and transition...finding the mind heart energy balance to begin again. Humans. Sometimes I have to admire us, we seldom give up, walk away, once we are invested in something.  

Saturday, June 15, 2019

Dagger or Duckling?

Animals Divine Tarot ~ Ace of Swords

A worrisome image, that big dagger and those little ducklings. Asking what am I not addressing clearly and honestly.

I don't want to talk about it. Which is no doubt why all the years of my life this anomaly goes around and around my mind and days. I am who I am regardless of how much I'd like to be someone else.

So I don't address it squarely, don't talk about it, don't go there. Am I the dagger or the duckling? 

Friday, June 14, 2019

Lucky Stars

Animals Divine Tarot ~ 7 of Coins

Not much on offer here. Unless you are the right person at the right time.
The right person at the right time to get the best boss I ever had for seven years. He knew how to encourage self confidence so we all did better work. Thank you Tom Moss.
Right place at the right time to catch Rob's eye on leave. And still there when he came home seven months later when he caught my eye and it was all over for anyone else.

Life just happens and mostly we just live it, but remembering our lucky stars times, well that's all good isn't it? 

Thursday, June 13, 2019

The Right Hard Thing

Animals Divine Tarot ~ King of Swords

Hatchet man. Leader who understands the consequences of pushing the button. One who makes decisions, carries them out, and stands behind them, never denying, shifting blame, obfuscating.

These men and women walk among us every day. There is glory in power, not waiting in lines being one of the best...but the burdens are big also. Real leaders put in the longest hours, have a working knowledge of whatever system they are in, and receptive brains to take in new facets and permutations.

I love a good King of Swords, you always know where you stand with them and they can be trusted to do the right thing, even if it is the hard thing. 

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Island of Misfit Toys

Animals Divine Tarot ~ 7 of Swords

In the Rider-Waite tradition, deceit/deception. In the Thoth, futility. Eventually we will fall asleep and then the boogie man really is there. Eventually the frog forgets about the shadow and moves. And so does the egret; nailed.

Our  new family member Rudy is sick. We didn't realize he was sick when we brought him home, he was just different. Like us. Here at the Island of Misfit Toys. Whatever little imbalance he had in the beginning (maybe he has never been out of a cage?) turned into inability to walk in a straight line. (Maybe he is single visioned?) Today he ran into the wall making his way out the popdoor, fell off the ramp, and spins in a circle more often than making forward movement. (stroke?) Whatever it is is progressing at a rapid rate of speed and beyond a shadow of a doubt we are losing him.

Sometimes I hate love, it hurts so much. 

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Fly Away Home

Animals Divine Tarot ~ 4 of Wands

Ladybugs (not a bug, but a beetle) don't actually 'go home' like a honey bee does, they just hang about food sources (aphids) and then hibernate, living on their body fat. If they find a crevice in tree bark or house foundation suitable, it produces a pheromone that attracts others, so it is common to find dozens if not hundreds at a time in their off-season location. A warmth in numbers thing.

All that said to say this is a beautiful card in nature, idea, and color. But ladybugs don't fly away home. Humans give something cute a life, humanized. Not cute? Say cockroaches (not a bug but an animal)? Kill baby kill. But cockroaches have many generational colonies and do not interbreed. Which makes them smarter than...ummm. All that said to say a home is a home whether there are one or more of us, a secure place we can feel safe. I wish that for every living thing. 

Monday, June 10, 2019

Couldn't Pay Me Enough

Animals Divine Tarot ~ Empress

Is it patronizing to feel pity for Hera, the queen of the gods? Considered the Goddess of Marriage & Birth, her brother/husband Zeus was consumed with bedding and fathering. Anyone, anything.

We can't know what draws people together, from what each draws their satisfaction in a union. Someone you or I might not touch with a ten foot pole is catnip to someone else.

Gods. People. Go figure, couldn't pay me enough to be the Empress. 

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Arbequina Olive

Animals Divine Tarot ~ Queen of Swords

In myth Athena presented the olive tree to Athens, introducing this hardy productive long lived fruit tree to the world. That tree is said to still be in the Erectheion, Acropolis, or shoots therefrom. Athena. Focused, in for the long term, Queen of Swords.

The Arbequina cultivar can be grown here in the jungle of the Pacific NW, along with excellent wine grapes to go with our outstanding cheeses. Who needs the world, we have it all here.

Saturday, June 8, 2019

Bent Entertainment

LXXXI Quareia ~ Faerie King

A trickster who creates havoc for his own bent entertainment. Kicking over someone's lego construction or sand castle, lets animals starve, drops rocks off overpasses, poisons the well, sabotages a job or community project. Sometimes they are sly enough to go on to positions of great power, altering the course of country and history.

Beware the person who says "can't you take a joke?". They have much worse in mind. 

Friday, June 7, 2019

Fairweather Bites

LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Man of Nature

"Nature is a harsh balancing act that does not care what is in your heart". Quareia

Johnny Weissmuller? Radagast? Secretary of the Interior David Bernhardt? Big game hunter? Farmer?  My little brother is probably the closest to a man of nature I'll ever know, he has a roof, but no power or water in the middle of a forest. The life he has come to, not one he meant to have. Endless beauty that has not brought him peace.

Which is what people think they will find in nature. We bring the world with us, mostly posing in, next altering and shoving and bending real nature, taking fairweather bites without ever coming close to the truth.  

Thursday, June 6, 2019

Starry Eyed

LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Magical Temple

Form and structure for practice, training, community.
Does it hold what we need to grow and expand?
Does it hold us, with fossilized concepts and drills?
Does it contain mentors who love what they do?
Blindered teachers who know and care for only rote?
Does it offer succor and fresh open ideas?
Regimen so we don't have to think for ourselves?

The world is a temple of learning, starry eyed isn't the way to approach. 

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Blood Calls

LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Temple of Ancestors

All that has and who that have gone before us. The collective wisdom, our Inner Library that we can call on when we need it in a situation.

If I could call an ancestor, draw on what they know, who would it be? My paternal great great grandmother. Choctaw. The ancestor I know the least about and which probably affects me most. Blood calls after all. 

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

The Day The String Stops

LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Fate Holder

Atropos, or Morta, if you follow minor gods, the Fate Keeper, the end of the thread holder, the CEO of our life span, but not arbitrator of the span within that finite line of string.

I'm mad the minute I pull the card, "no one owns me, I make my own decisions". And yes I do, within a tiny mini-spectrum. The world and environment we are born into have already set much of our future regardless of how we twist on the hook. The meteor with our name on it, the ebola carrier who coughed all over the grocery cart, the drunk behind the wheel of the car that should have stopped at the red light... phooey, can't worry about that stuff.

I follow the string to the Light. I care not what day the string ends, today is what matters, and how I choose to live it. 

Monday, June 3, 2019

Someone Else's Dark

LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Imprisoner

Imprisoner closes paths, withholds the light. Nails our proclivity to kill and crush others to the wall, or self-prisons with belittlement, self loathing and blame. The life coin, the big side and the little one.

I can only abhor the big side, wonder why given power it always corrupts. The little side, my life? Work at not allowing the comfort of stasis to occlude reality worth living, worth remembering. Open eyes appreciating what I have what I do where and when I live.
I refuse to exist in someone else's dark. My life, my choice, each and every morning.


Sunday, June 2, 2019

Diseased

LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Disease

Little long term consequence or total reassessment required? Congenital or caught? Uninvited or deserved? Unless afflicted with hypochondria we don't give much thought to disease, mental, physical, or emotional unless it touches us. And there are some that think it doesn't exist.

I gave myself breast cancer, cosseted it's birth and growth with rage. I didn't deserve lung cancer. Have I said it was very rare, generally found only in SE Asia?
Five years of black suicidal depression, did I keep it close, pet it? Did I fight it, like trying to put a sock on an octopus? I don't know, I had a disease, leave me alone.
When I'm not being put out, I find my eyes interesting.

Compassion. I hope I am never dismissive or repelled by someone else's burden. That would be a disease in itself. 

Saturday, June 1, 2019

Shoshin

Tarocchi Neoclassico Milano ~ Hermit

 I proceed from a beginner's mind.









Tarocchi Neoclassico Milano, Meneghello reproduction first  published by Ferdinando Gumppenberg from 1807 to 1816 in Milan Italy

Friday, May 31, 2019

Mores and Restrictions

Kurmay Tarot ~ 6 of Swords

Always a card that makes me stop and ponder. What am I moving away from, what toward?

I feel in flux as far as interests.
I'm still newsless, 3.5 months now. I'd like to see what the rising tide of presidential candidates have to offer, I have zero tolerance for the rest of the carpola. So not going there.
I'm considering taking up the craft of tea leaf reading, which lead to a search for full leaf tea, can't source it locally anymore. Ordered a four types from Whispering Pines, easy to navigate website, and I like the owner's backstory.
The most productive thing I've done in the quilt room is catch up on ironing clothes.

Seems to point to treading water, going nowhere. I can live with that for awhile. And to ponder what brought a citizen of Turkey to make a tarot deck, and get it published. Quite a movement away from traditional Turkish mores and restrictions.

Kurmay Tarot art by Akin, circa 2006, Ankara Turkey

Thursday, May 30, 2019

Identity Ends

Tarot Noir ~ 2 of Coins

Infinity. Balance. Fluctuations. Graceful energy, flow. From the 1600's beginning of tarrock cards for gaming the two deniers card has been used as a card of identity. What they show across time is the production values in printing and one of the things giving the ability to date the oldest decks.

However modern I think I might be my gene string goes back and back, my survival instincts even further. But I end with me. I've always been a bit of a woodblock. And I'm fine with that.

Tarot Noir 2013 Matthieu Hackiere

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Discernment

Druidcraft Tarot ~ Page Princess of Cups

Having been one I can legally say "teenage girls, let's all roll our eyes together"...but on the enchanted side it is where much of who I am was seeded.

Because like autumn and dusk, as here, it is also a time of deeper reflection, of learning discernment. Of noticing the world equivalent of faces in the trees and real snakes in the grass.

I notice the intentional strand of knots and wonder what a 2nd century BC teenager has in common with one of the 21st century; this one might have been mated and had two children of her own by now. Or destined to be a priestess, a leader. Who knows, but I love this card of thoughtfulness.

Druidcraft Tarot 2004 Carr-Gomm/Worthington, St. Martin's Press

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Fake Sync

Magic Manga Tarot ~ 10 of Coins

I have issues with this card, as I do with many decks from the last two decades. Wonderful artists who don't understand the underlying symbology that makes reading the cards practical and of value.

This is clearly a lady who is feeling fit and fine and fiesty but all surface. Certainly a 10 in her and the artist's mind. The 10 of Coins is the sum total of every other minor and the me vibe misses that entirely. Where is the community? Where is the group support equivalent? Where is the fort? Where are the ages that symbolize life experience? Where are the gates? Where is the dog for Pete's sake? Where is the completion shown? The 10 of Coins is the mind body soul sync. This is fake sync and does the craft no service at all. 

Monday, May 27, 2019

Harvest Begins

Haindl Tarot~ Ace of Coins/Stones

Each ace is the potential of the suit, the Ace of Coins being where the brain farts have collided with the collusions and conspiracies, pedal met the metal, and finally harvest time, for better or worse.

This past travel week has been all good things, all good outcomes, aces concluded. Cool.

Haindl Tarot Hermann Haindl/Rachel Pollack U.S.Games Systems 1990

Sunday, May 26, 2019

Help?

Joie de Vivre. 10 of Swords

She would gripe if hung with a new rope.

My cat Ash slept on my laptop keyboard yesterday. I thought it was cute. Now I can’t get the lock screen to show the password box.

I’m using my iPad, doable, like walking is doable if the car has a flat, but not what is needed...

Saturday, May 25, 2019

Life As A Queen

Cosmic Tarot ~ Queen of Cups

1. At the beach
2. Surrounded by quilters
3. Learning something new
4. Life as a queen is good...


Friday, May 24, 2019

Inevitable

Chronatarot ~ Tower

Sheer physical strength and mental fortitude with a driving force of terror or desperation, or grief, he tries to hold back the inevitable.

I've been there. I doubt I've ever met or will meet anyone who hasn't. The alternative, in the beginning is not conscionable because we can't imagine we will fail; afterward we wonder why we didn't or couldn't step away before we were crushed because the crushing haunts us forever.

 Chronatarot Tarot Robyn Tisch Hollister, Majors 2004-2008


Thursday, May 23, 2019

Too Good

Celtic Dragon Tarot ~ 6 of Coins

The dragon is holding out a handful of gold. Is it offering or showing? Generousity or temptation?

I'm reminded by this card and the suggested nature of dragons, if it is too good to be true it likely is.





Celtic Dragon Tarot D.J. Conway/Lisa Hunt 2003 Llewellyn

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

3 Bells Indeed

Ironwing Tarot ~ 3 of Coins/Bells

Ah, the Ironwing, where passion in a subject plus talent plus dedication to the long haul form a whole.

If it were easy everyone would do it
When the going gets tough the tough get going
Talk? Or do?

Tomorrow begins a Do that has been simmering on the back burner (do nothing space) for five or six years. With the help and encouragement of three teachers. 3 Bells indeed.

Ironwing Tarot Lorena Babcock Moore 2004, self published

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Hearth And Home

Hoi Polloi Tarot ~ 4 of Wands

Hearth and home. Often unappreciated and underrated if we think of it at all. Hell if we have to be there and it isn't a place of safety and shelter but rather danger and harm. Missed like a limb or child if torn from us.

Our home probably looks better today than at any time in the nearly 50 years since it was built. Maintenance has finally caught up with all it's needs, we finally have the time for the pretty part of keeping up the property. I called a drone photographer yesterday to see if a from-the-sky photo could be arranged. Something to look back on and admire when the day comes hearth and home ownership is no longer in the cards.

Published as The Tarot, 1972, Hoi Polloi Inc. NYC

Monday, May 20, 2019

Lemon Blue Conclusion

Halloween Tarot ~ 9 of Coins/Pumpkins

All's right with the world; we have a new family member this week, Rudy the Lemon Blue Old English Game Hen bantam rooster. Our charming rooster Peanut died last fall, a shock to us, and to his little banty harem. They got progressively shyer and flightier and seemed to lose their commonsense entirely.

So we went to the poultry swap Saturday and after looking over the studly parade settled on Rudy. His two trump cards being small and gentle. Two days later, the little girls are friendly and calm again, coming up to take dried worms and cracked corn from our hands. Minding his admonitions and appreciating his generous notice of and sharing of the most succulent tidbits. A wonderful 9 of Coins conclusion. Welcome to our family Rudy.

Halloween Tarot Lee/West, U.S. Games Systems 2003

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Too Fun To Be Legal

New Palladini Tarot ~ Queen of Wands

Fully developed wand, her hair, clothes, jewelry, pose, and background well thought out, all peak of perfection. Never achieved it myself, but my strongest efforts were probably around age sixteen or seventeen. That driving urge to fit in, not show weakness or a crack where bullying or shame or being less than (what?) might insert and cause embarrassment.

Being embarrassed seemed the worst thing in the world in that enclave of fitting in. Yet none of us really did, it was the six of us, in solidarity that helped us survive that age. In honor of my Frankendecken week, a favorite memory was the Halloween midnight horror movie show at the D and R Theater. Too Fun To Be Legal.

David Palladini/U.S. Games Systems 1997

Saturday, May 18, 2019

Cheerful Death

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ Death

A cheerful Death; perhaps the Raven is a jokester. "She'd be happy to know she didn't die with bed hair".

I'm reading The Bookseller's Tale by Ann Swinfen, set in 1353 Oxford England following the bubonic plague which began in 1347.

This card and that book makes me wonder if our family were closer, if I'd be less concerned about building and maintaining our little family plot at the cemetery? I'm guessing it wouldn't have crossed my mind at all. A grim thought to have lodged in my mind, another layer of guilt spread.


Friday, May 17, 2019

Live With That

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ 3 of Swords

I carry my litany of sorrow with me, like a punishment I think, for what should have and easily could have been. I carry my grief because I cannot let it go, I carry my fear because I am human.

But when I drew this I thought "I've got nothing for this card today, life is good and I'm happy." My pulmonary doctor called me yesterday and said "congratulations you are officially lung cancer free, we can close the book on this dark chapter". I can live with that, literally. 

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Hankering

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ 4 of Coins

If you have it others want it. If they have it, a hankering sets in.
I can understand why the idea of communes and communism catch on, it seems like life would be so much simpler if everyone was equal.

Which never happens. There has to be someone to stir the commune, organize the crops, pay the taxman, which seems to lead to helping themselves to children. In communism the old men just pick up the takings and get even richer and more powerful.

So here he sits. Save it and be damned by his neighbors. Spend it and be damned by his neighbors. I vote save it and let the neighbors eat cake. Spending it foolishly just puts it in the rich man's pockets. My personal bee in the bonnet. 

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Multitasking

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ 2 of Coins

Multitasking seems second nature for women.
I wonder when I'm doing all this stuff, am I doing any of it well? 

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Particular

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ 5 of Coins

Mutual support. One thing most everyone looks for regardless of our current station in life. Snowbirds flee to Mexico then huddle with other US snowbirds. Chess clubs. I'm meeting  a stranger for coffee this morning, why her? She is a quilter. If she were a rodeo rider, home schooler, militant anything? Probably not. Probably must surely not.

If I met those people by chance on a bus? I'd probably find them fascinating and enjoyable. But never follow up for coffee. Humans...gotta have their particular support group. 

Monday, May 13, 2019

Confidence

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ Queen of Cups

Confidence. That hair (seamoss?) swinging out like a model's...how much confidence do you think it takes a creature who lives underwater to sit and pose like this?

As a child, when completely out of my element I'd clam up, hunker down, become invisible. As an adult with new jobs new interests I learned it was to my advantage to be in front, ask questions, get my money's worth. But confident?

That is a tough one, and why she is Queen and gets the big bucks. More power to her. 

Sunday, May 12, 2019

With A Flourish

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ Page of Coins

Initiation. So what does initiation mean in relation to retirement?

Learning to pace. When I met Rob's Uncle Elmer he was 51, just diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. They took one lung and one-third of the other. He lived another 25 years, I'm convinced because he paced himself. He hunted, fished, cleared property, built a house and big barn...but you never actually saw him doing something. He'd figured out you can move Earth half an hour at a time.

I think this wisdom applies even when energy and health are in abundance. We no long need to rush everything we do, we have the time to not only do it, but do it well. With a flourish, and not all this very minute. Cool.  

Saturday, May 11, 2019

Pick Your Poison

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ 3 of Swords/Middle Eastern

I couldn't name a single middle eastern food.
Of all the people I know via the internet, not one is middle eastern.
Of all the places in the world the US shouldn't be it's the middle east.

That's all pitiful. 3 of Swords, pick your poison. 

Friday, May 10, 2019

Wishing I Hadn't

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ 9 of Wands/Hot Mess

Starting a sentence with "In my own defense" usually means I pulled a boner. Screwed up. Made a stupid mistake. In this case I waited too long to eat, ate too much, and eight hours later I'm still miserable because I'm too full.

The usual image of a bandaged man defending his ill built fort is a good one. An 'after the fact' image. Wishing I'd done it differently.  Better defenses. Repent in leisure. Oh, I am so full. Wishing I hadn't. 

Thursday, May 9, 2019

Natural It Isn't

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ Ace of Swords/Sides

Swords are knowledge
Sides are expensive
Much olive oil is adulterated or not even from olives
Fish is commonly misidentified
Honey often isn't
Juice labels...read 'em
Ground coffee fluffed up with sticks corn barley
Tea bags? can include colored sawdust
Power bars and cereal with blueberries? Generally fake
Parmesan cheese, wood pulp

Rule of thumb? If it's cheaper on the shelf there is usually a reason.
Rich old men making more money.

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

The Sleep I Had

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ 4 of Swords/Root

I make my coffee and sit down to do my blog first thing of a morning, so my dreams are still strong in my mind. Sleep should be a respite time, but mine seldom is. I'm either not sleeping or I'm dreaming vivid dreams, anxiety ridden. I even had a screamer this week, woke up Rob and scared the dogs... I'm on zero meds unlike several years ago when I had screamers all the time.

So what is the root of my problem, how do I cut it off? Haven't a clue. Nada. But the sleep I had before getting up was a classic nasty. 

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Classic

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ 5 of Swords/Classic

Often seen as contempt. I've just finished Rodney Dangerfield's It's Not Easy Being Me life story (and it wasn't, he did have a unmentored life) but the story that sticks in my mind is the friend who thought it was hilarious to go to a dance with a coke bottle taped to his groin/leg.

Not sure where contempt falls in this but does express how little I understand men. More a contempt for how excessive drink and drugs makes a dunce of anyone. I've been drunk on my butt any number of times in my youth, and didn't I always think I was the funniest person in the room? Would I have laughed about the bottle? Probably.

A more interesting bit about the Classic can be found here.

Monday, May 6, 2019

Justice and the Peanut Gallery

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ Justice/Holey One

My dad died of heart disease at 69. After his first massive heart attack at 60 he had a triple bypass and thereafter began the dietary lessons. Dad was always fit, healthy, and active, but learning that beef and butter and eggs create cholesterol he often moaned at the injustice that he'd killed his whole family because we lived on a farm and beef butter eggs were staples.

He drove a concrete mixer truck and my eye cuts to the card thinking it was the stops at Bill's X-L for a dozen donuts when his route had him passing that might have been the bigger problem.

Is Justice paying for our actions? When we know what we are doing and doing it anyway (smoke/drink/drugs/food/couch potato) no doubt. But 'not fair' shouts ring from the peanut gallery of life. (28 peanuts is a serving...hardly seems worth the effort)

Sunday, May 5, 2019

Worth What You Paid For It

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ Magician/The Slice

This is a crazy deck, prepare for odd posts..
I had my first slice at sixteen. Gino's, Aberdeen. Love at first bite.
In all these many years I never ordered or made anything but pepperoni. Yes, I knew all the other kinds were wonderful, but could never see a reason to mess with perfect pizza magic.

Until last fall in Montana. In two and a half months gone we had four restaurant meals. Pizza Hut being one, a snowy evening when easy seemed a good idea. I lost my mind and had pepperoni and pineapple on my side. Delish! And now that is the way we make my half at home because it was a good memory. We make our own, once a month. Always delish.

That's my pizza life story, worth what you paid for it. 

Saturday, May 4, 2019

Marigolds in the Vegs

Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Service

I don't do any kind of service at this point. Have done a lot over the years, library, animal shelter, Red Cross, personal, have just fallen out of the habit in retirement I think. I wonder what kind of options are even available here?

Perhaps this is a thread I will follow next week. Start at city hall? I must remember the point of the marigolds in the veg garden, there are all kinds of ways to be vampired by the idea of good works. 

Friday, May 3, 2019

Back From The Brink

Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Mindfulness

Checking in on ourselves. Sounds simple, easy to gloss over. Easy to say it isn't important, I can wait, I'll take care of me tomorrow, it isn't bothering me, I'm not tired, I'm not hungry, I'm not burnt out, I'm not mad, it can't be despair. 

Living in the world we can be all these things and more, nearly oblivious of standard states of being we move in and out of.

My turning off the news, clear off, none allowed, was a check in. I realized I was moving back to the place I said I'd never go again, allowing someone else the power to get in my mind and live there, fomenting hate. I can hardly believe it took me so long to recognize where I was.

I don't miss the world, the world doesn't miss me, and that healthy attitude pulled me back from the brink, no small thing. 

Thursday, May 2, 2019

Unhuman

Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Acceptance

On a personal level about personal issues do we ever accept what we can not change? To accept  would probably be healthy. But giving up seems unhuman.

When this wave sweeps the sandcastle away do we see the sand is still there or do we weep for the loss? Do we build higher on the beach with less biddable sand and a lot more work? Do we turn our back and switch to rock balancing? Kick over someone else's castle? Go group effort?

Did you know professionals have a kit, a plan, molds far beyond yellow buckets and a plastic shovel? 

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

How Many Ways?

Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Honesty

A fine line sometimes. I had to darken this image so it would show up. Fine lines, light colors, the snowshoe on quick observation could have been just a eye cave in a hill.

It is dishonest to take King's art and manipulate it to the benefit of the blog image? I would say yes. Am I prevaricating when I say 'but using her images with a clickable link on the side bar is  actually helping promote her deck? Yes. Am I clouding the issue by garrulousness? Indubitability.   

And I haven't even finished my coffee yet. How many ways will I be dishonest today? Your guess is as good as mine.                

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Where Is The Fun?

Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Courage

First I'd need to sort out what I fear. Is it real or something I think might maybe happen? It is our nature to worry about things that will probably never happen (invaded by Canada, inland tsunami, hit by a bus). Maybe it relieves the pressure on what we do see (friend with tumor, appliance on its last legs, family problems).

Humans are complicated. Our strength, but also our downfall. If I worried about what was real, and was happy for what I have my life would shortly sort itself out. But where is the fun in that?