Where Is The Fun?

Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Courage

First I'd need to sort out what I fear. Is it real or something I think might maybe happen? It is our nature to worry about things that will probably never happen (invaded by Canada, inland tsunami, hit by a bus). Maybe it relieves the pressure on what we do see (friend with tumor, appliance on its last legs, family problems).

Humans are complicated. Our strength, but also our downfall. If I worried about what was real, and was happy for what I have my life would shortly sort itself out. But where is the fun in that? 

Magic Pill

Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Contentment

Crave, get, forget. Modern nature, we are inundated with media ideas and images that stress perfection, action, and it can have a dampening effect on real life.

A ride to the coast hardly measures against a tour of Europe. A toasted cheese sandwich seems dull against the miles of beautifully photographed meals in a recipe search. Even a pair of jeans that fit pale against a side bar filled with models who have jeans that fit and long legs.

The magic pill is stop comparing. That is diametrically opposed to stop working on a better life, but stop comparing our life to anyone else's. Get rid of the slick magazines, stop watching the life makeovers. Stop the email reminders, the wall of people and places that would never measure up in real life...concentrate on small changes that would make our own life shine. Polish the parts that already do. That life is really short and yearning for the pointlessly unattainable will only make it shorter. Content isn't a dirty word. 

Monkey See Monkey Do

Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Compassion and Kindness

King would like us to examine the degrees of compassion; from self compassion which is a key ingredient to healthy mindfulness, bleeding into self-indulgence and self centeredness.

It is easy to be all over the map on this; thinking back, the better off my life state might be the more inclined I might be to the last two.
The 8 year old mindset of 'everyone one else does/has it, why not me?'.  When it really isn't what I  need or want, but monkey see monkey do.

I'd like to think life and time has brought me to at least able to discern and admit the difference with honesty before I cave. 

Get Thee Gone

Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Illumination

This card is represented by sage which grows freely all over the eastern side of my state. I first came familiar with its cleansing properties when I had a Cheyenne Medicine Woman come smudge our house not once but twice for good measure. It was built and owned by despicable people and I wanted all their chthonic remnants gone.

Time gives us a type of sageing cleansing also. The scars from and in this house run deep, and every time we tear out, paint over, replace something my spirit sighs and says more of them gone, thank you.

I'm an open window person anyway, but sometimes even in the depths of winter I throw open the doors and windows, let the fresh clean air in...we need it, bring it on. Get thee gone old sins and sorrows and angers. 

Milk and Rhinestones

Enchanted Magic Tarot ~ Opulence

Pick up a pencil, lean over, and draw me a quarter, dime, and nickel. Or the equivalent in your currency. Then get those three coins, lay them beside your circles and tell me how close to size they are.
Do coins have a cachet of real currency anywhere anymore?

Almonds are associated with this card, a luxury apparently when religious dictates dictate fasting from dairy. another thing that goes right over my head. If fasting from milk, fast from milk, why cheat? Poor old dairy farmers. The cows don't know to cut back for whatever, when they cut back, they stop. Then no one has milk. My hot button is in danger of sending me down a rabbit hole, I'll practice some abstinence of my own in that area and instead enjoy some opulence from my bling brooch drawer. Maybe three. Show some shine on the day. 

In The Air

Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Magic

What is magic anyway? A lady on stage going poof? Conception and birth? 

Can it happen because of intent? Ill will? Quest of dream manifestation? Candles and herbs and scripts burnt at night? Abbacadabra? Our holy father I pray? Practice?

All the above and none of the above. We are surrounded by magic 24 hours a day and miss the point by looking for it elsewhere. It is in the ordinary, how hands work, how trees grow, how minds function, how the sun and moon set and rise.

Recognise it, breathe it, appreciate it. 

Variegated Agave

Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Innocence

In many ways I'm still an innocent. I've made sure of it, avoiding deliberately some situations and knowledges. But not innocent of death. It's real, it takes those we love and replaces it with nothing but a big black hole in our heart.

Today we'll be going to the family plot to clean and polish the stones, weed around the bases, and replace the flowers. Leave remembrances. This spring I have a christmas ornament shaped like a travel trailer for my folks, they loved snowbirding in the desert. Their flowers contain Variegated Agave this year, I think they'll get a kick out o that.

No, no way to remain innocent of death. 

Minty Mint Tea

Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Good Fortune

Associated with mint, bringing renewed energy with cooling and healing properties.
Never been a minty person until this month. In the something new category I'm beset by gallbladder attacks. If desperate even a gob of mint gum helps, and a cup of hot mint tea really helps. Just saying, not doctoring...

Good fortune: Never had a flat tire! Picked from the garden of love by the right person. An inquiring brain. Lots of interesting jobs. Met a lot of great people. Good overall health. Wonderful parents and extended family. Never hungry or homeless. Able to give homes and receive unconditional love from so many animal friends. Electricity! Clear clean running water! Fresh air! So many years of so much good fortune, luckiest girl in the world. 

Intellect vs Wisdom

Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Wisdom

Relating to Ivy, resilience, lasting connections, bonding, binding. It was also used to clarify ale although my research isn't clarifying how.

I just finished a biography of Leonardo Di Vinci, certainly a man with huge intellect, but did he have wisdom? I think not. One does not assure the other.

Contemplate

Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Contemplation

I get flashes of inspiration.
It gets better if I allow time for maturation. I like that in between time when the little companion ideas flow.
Jumping the gun usually blows up in my face.
Live and learn. And think. 

Hooks In My Heart?

Santa Fe Tarot ~ Devil

The Sand Dune Monster. Attempts to lead the people from the path of beauty and harmony then gloats at the resulting ashes of moral disconnect.

My Pineapple Blossom quilt, 96" X 110" made special for the bed in our 5th wheel travel trailer was stolen while in Portland Oregon.

Did the Devil make them do it? I pronounce fair trade if the hair on their butt turns to fish hooks. Or is that the Sand Dune Monster getting it's hooks in my heart?
Edited to add: Publicity  has turned up the quilt! It should be home safe shortly! Hooray! 

Safety vs Hazards

Santa Fe Tarot ~ 10 of Coins/Buffalo

Safety vs hazards. Not a word that runs across my brainpan. Back in the past when I was a praying woman I'd beg safety from the hazards of the road Rob would meet, for 'every inch the tires rolled', because accidents happen in an instant, and I didn't want any inches missed, it might be the key inch.

Different hazards at retirement age. Kaiser is sending hints and helps to avoid the dangers of falling. My breast and lung scans are coming due. Rob had his prostate checked. Proactive vs reactive.  Still all about safety vs hazards. 

Food For Thought

Santa Fe Tarot ~ Chariot

B'Ganaskiddy is a traveler with seeds. Bringing them to farmers, coming back at harvest for seeds to carry to the next planting season. So I did a little reading on that boogyman Monsanto and their lock on genetically modified seeds and the widespread myth that fresh crops can't be grown from harvested Monsanto seeds due to their patented Terminator gene.

NPR lowkey mythbuster short article here. GMO seed is an ecological hot button which skewes into genetically altered food animals, which is a short step to altering humans. I'm sure it is going on because if humans can, humans will...as we've shown since time began.

But B'Ganaskiddy's drive is to see his people fed, by their own efforts. Social philanthropy with legs, not genetically altering gimmie programs, we've seen how successful those are...third and fourth generation. So tell me, has my food for thought genetically altered my own thinking making me the cynic I am? 

My Best Work

Santa Fe Tarot ~ Ace of Wands/Rainbows

Sandpainting of a prayer stick, resting against the earth. The rainbows creating a safety net and shield around it. The start, the get 'er done, the most important part , nailing down the priority, the key.

I've been thinking about the Key the last week or so. In a world awash with anything and everything and everyone, my exercises in downsizing, minimalizing, limiting the chatter, eliminating news, helps clarify much. Including being an ascetic is overkill as much as 24/7 in the world.

But one prayer stick, laid on a world of shifting sand. I can do this, each day. Today it is finish the binding on a quilt, get it hung on the loft rail. Joyful applique baskets filled with stars and otherworldly flower shapes from when my eyes were good, my best work. Along with filler blocks that didn't make the grade but still ate up time and materials and effort. They are a large part of life too. And a way to emphasize the Key.

Funny Old Life

Santa Fe Tarot ~ Queen of Cups/Water

Created from mirage stone and living crystal, mist and clouds, Water Woman's domain was collected waters and small ponds, or Water Child.

I'm still processing the loss of my mother, probably always will be because of the dichotomy of the mother I had growing up vs the the mother who had dementia. It is a funny old life. But I don't see anyone laughing. 

Catch Some Zzzzs

Santa Fe Tarot ~ 4 of Swords/Lightening

Our Shootingway Thunder Yei suggests we be circumspect, wary, no risks. To stay on the clockwise path.

Perhaps if we are weary, worn, battle scarred. For awhile. I'd never recommend it as a lifestyle; zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Talisman

Santa Fe Tarot ~ 4 of Cups/Water

The Spotted Water creature is trapped, but has placed the four sacred water jugs for protection. (from the companion book)
Inquiring minds want to know is there a timer on the jugs? Why  no protection in the first place? Thirst would be the first thing to make the lizard go, now it has water. Eh?

Sacred protection is a mental thing, we manufacture it keep our spirits up, to hold hope when hopeless seems the only option, to hold back the inexplicable burdens that would crush us. A totem bag, cross, shark tooth, smooth rock, the pocket treasures of a child, held over time eventually to bourgeon into talismans.

I wonder at what point the concept of sacred protection left me completely? I can only guess at the demi-decade. Mine was a button. 

Life As The Emperance

Crystal Tarot ~ Temperance

Having been bamboozled by this cards all week I pulled this one, thought how beautiful, looked at the title with bent eyes, scanned and titled it Temperance and wondered why she was posed like a queen.

Because it is the Empress. I do this all the time, hurry hurry hurry, scan and jump, see what I expect to see,  always have, then slog along redoing what I've screwed up. It is a learning way to live, not learning the key lesson of the Fool, looking before I'm leaping though. No never that.

The lesson of the Emperance...I am what I am, but I do my redo birthings with good nature. Well. Usually with a couple of $%&*#'s first but that is just safety venting, right? 

Bread Trail

Crystal Tarot ~ 3 of Coins

   The seeds. Where they come from, what makes them germinate or die? I need to book an RV Park in June in Newport for a three day class. While not sleeping I've been thinking backwards to what brought us traveling around the country in a little house on wheels.

A bread trail going back to Kreth and the Dear Jane List in 1998. And the senseless VW TDI recall.  They were the seeds, and I'm looking forward to what this year's RV plans sprout. And I miss Kreth.
   

Unanswered Oddities

Crystal Tarot ~ Hermit/Prudence

View from my desk. Stunning Trevisan artwork...published by Lo Scarabeo, first as a majors only deck in 2000, standard titles. Full deck published in 2004, standard titles.

Why are all the majors renamed in the accompanying booklet? Is that what the artist wanted them titled? Why weren't they titled so on the cards? The Fool is Will, the Magician Science. This is considered a Thoth based deck, but the booklet titles don't follow that path. Nor does it follow in the suits. Why the disconnect Lo Scarabeo?

I read the backs of cereal boxes, shampoo bottles, even gasp, instructions. And little white books. This one is just weird, probably why the Hermit is wandering off into the dusk; sometimes the world makes the brain want to explode with unanswered oddities. 

Self Control

Crystal Tarot ~ Queen of Wands

Self control personified.

Who needs it?
Who wants it?
Who has it?
All of us and none of us at one time or another.

When I've needed it most I didn't have it.
When I most have it I don't need it.
Mostly I want it. I hate being out of control.

Page, Grown Up

Crystal Tarot ~ Page of Swords

When a page grows up what and who are they? Sycamore Tree had a floating page yesterday, something I've been pondering since. Pages are afoot. Said she who doesn't believe in rules. So this morning a Page search on my blog had me looking at a rogues gallery...all on foot. And wondering why. If the Fool was not afoot would he not still be a fool?

And here comes a Page draw for me. I'd put my faith in this standing guardian, look at that stance, that sword, that training field. This one is going straight past Knight to...what? There are acres of pages, a very small field for knights, moot opportunities for king. So what does a grownup page do?

I blurted out yesterday I'd like to grow up to be Mrs. Marlowe from Brokenwood. This morning I'm wondering if I've been her all along. Frightening thought. Way too early for honesty. 

Everything

Crystal Tarot ~ 9 of Coins

I Have everything I need.

I think back to the time when I Wanted Everything. And none of it made me happy for more than a minute.

It was a long complex dance to change the way I think, without a destination because I didn't know the goal until I got here. 

Navel Awhile, Do Awhile

Crystal Tarot ~ Star

Yes, it's true. Star is a navel gazer.
Without introspection we are just cartoon characters. One dimensional, poorly drawn stick figures. One note hummers.

Today's Star is a celebration of how far we've come, and joy there are paths still to travel; we are never 'over' until we've drawn our last breath; I'm working a Wyoming dinosaur dig this fall. Where is your path taking you, you never thought you'd go?

Horse and Hand

Songs for the Journey Home ~ 4 of Swords/Wind Songs

Getting away from it all. We drove to Naches and Yakima this week. Away from it all, on a very small scale, yet a whole different world Washington-wise, the desert side. Where the geology is exposed, not covered by green moss and grasses and trees.

I'm reminded by this card, away from the norm creates the distance sometimes needed to see what is in front of our nose. Not usually the impetus, but the result. Horse and carriage, hand in hand. 

Individuality

Songs for the Journey Home ~ Ace of Wands/Wind

There are two Aces for the Wands, this gong of awakening creativity and the woman with the singing bowl. The same only different. A ting. A bong.

All said to say, twenty of us can have the same idea and each will have a different concept and outcome. Monet painted two-hundred views of his garden. Same eyes same brain, always Monet.Yours and mine would be wildly different.

Take a car or a phone, any commercial project. Pretty soon everyone's look the same regardless of color or cost. One is a box with wheels, one is a box with buttons. Creativity is a moving feast and our personal results unique. A wonderful thing, individuality.

Short Fuse

Songs for the Journey Home ~ 4 of Wands/Flame Songs

Worshiping the womb. I don't get it but I'm not a mother.
A woman once told me she was letting her cat have kittens so her children could see the miracle of birth. I offered the suggestion she take them down to the shelter to see the miracle of death in the decompression chamber.

I'm in a good mood today, imagine how cranky I can get when not. All life should be precious, not some white lives. 

Squander by Obliviousness

Songs For the Journey Home Tarot ~ Moon

Pulling the  Moon in a spread, we might wonder what is being hidden from us, what is being disguised, what hasn't shown up yet. To consider what we don't know.

Yet to live with a constantly suspicious or doomed nature is is waste of the Sun side of life. We better honor our life by making the best of the dark and recognizing the light; to be oblivious to both is to squander the few days alloted our lifespan. 

Shaping The Bones

Songs for the Journey Home Tarot ~ 6 of Wands/Flame Songs

Dancing free from that which stifles.
In hairdressing we were taught safety and sanitation, finger waves, and how tight to roll perm rods.
In real estate we were taught law and disclosure, contract and concepts.
In tarot we are taught keywords, icons, common symbology.
In bible schools  we are taught catechisms.
All things that can be tested and graded. All important first immersions. Basics.
Soft shapes that become bone hard, difficult to move beyond, to find the flair and passion, the personality and fire.

So we dance, moving toward who we were meant to be, breaking molds and reforming. To become more than the mold, more than the student, eventually more than the teacher. Life as it is meant to be when encouraged and nurtured. Beyond the student.

The Gateway

Songs for the Journey Home ~ Page of Swords/Flame Innocence

There is a point as a child when we awaken to the reality there is 'a big world out there', something that isn't the small environment where we begin. We reach that point again as adults, sometime in our forties usually.

I barely remember our thirties. We had the pedal to the metal, upwardly mobile, both tearing up the path set out for us by society and custom. Extended family became a less likely vacation destination, everyone else was busy too.

The best part? It was less expensive to travel overseas than cross country, so we did. That was a gift that has never stopped giving. Innocence, a wonderful place to start, not a place to stay.