Mores and Restrictions

Kurmay Tarot ~ 6 of Swords

Always a card that makes me stop and ponder. What am I moving away from, what toward?

I feel in flux as far as interests.
I'm still newsless, 3.5 months now. I'd like to see what the rising tide of presidential candidates have to offer, I have zero tolerance for the rest of the carpola. So not going there.
I'm considering taking up the craft of tea leaf reading, which lead to a search for full leaf tea, can't source it locally anymore. Ordered a four types from Whispering Pines, easy to navigate website, and I like the owner's backstory.
The most productive thing I've done in the quilt room is catch up on ironing clothes.

Seems to point to treading water, going nowhere. I can live with that for awhile. And to ponder what brought a citizen of Turkey to make a tarot deck, and get it published. Quite a movement away from traditional Turkish mores and restrictions.

Kurmay Tarot art by Akin, circa 2006, Ankara Turkey

Identity Ends

Tarot Noir ~ 2 of Coins

Infinity. Balance. Fluctuations. Graceful energy, flow. From the 1600's beginning of tarrock cards for gaming the two deniers card has been used as a card of identity. What they show across time is the production values in printing and one of the things giving the ability to date the oldest decks.

However modern I think I might be my gene string goes back and back, my survival instincts even further. But I end with me. I've always been a bit of a woodblock. And I'm fine with that.

Tarot Noir 2013 Matthieu Hackiere

Discernment

Druidcraft Tarot ~ Page Princess of Cups

Having been one I can legally say "teenage girls, let's all roll our eyes together"...but on the enchanted side it is where much of who I am was seeded.

Because like autumn and dusk, as here, it is also a time of deeper reflection, of learning discernment. Of noticing the world equivalent of faces in the trees and real snakes in the grass.

I notice the intentional strand of knots and wonder what a 2nd century BC teenager has in common with one of the 21st century; this one might have been mated and had two children of her own by now. Or destined to be a priestess, a leader. Who knows, but I love this card of thoughtfulness.

Druidcraft Tarot 2004 Carr-Gomm/Worthington, St. Martin's Press

Fake Sync

Magic Manga Tarot ~ 10 of Coins

I have issues with this card, as I do with many decks from the last two decades. Wonderful artists who don't understand the underlying symbology that makes reading the cards practical and of value.

This is clearly a lady who is feeling fit and fine and fiesty but all surface. Certainly a 10 in her and the artist's mind. The 10 of Coins is the sum total of every other minor and the me vibe misses that entirely. Where is the community? Where is the group support equivalent? Where is the fort? Where are the ages that symbolize life experience? Where are the gates? Where is the dog for Pete's sake? Where is the completion shown? The 10 of Coins is the mind body soul sync. This is fake sync and does the craft no service at all. 

Harvest Begins

Haindl Tarot~ Ace of Coins/Stones

Each ace is the potential of the suit, the Ace of Coins being where the brain farts have collided with the collusions and conspiracies, pedal met the metal, and finally harvest time, for better or worse.

This past travel week has been all good things, all good outcomes, aces concluded. Cool.

Haindl Tarot Hermann Haindl/Rachel Pollack U.S.Games Systems 1990

Help?

Joie de Vivre. 10 of Swords

She would gripe if hung with a new rope.

My cat Ash slept on my laptop keyboard yesterday. I thought it was cute. Now I can’t get the lock screen to show the password box.

I’m using my iPad, doable, like walking is doable if the car has a flat, but not what is needed...

Life As A Queen

Cosmic Tarot ~ Queen of Cups

1. At the beach
2. Surrounded by quilters
3. Learning something new
4. Life as a queen is good...

Inevitable

Chronatarot ~ Tower

Sheer physical strength and mental fortitude with a driving force of terror or desperation, or grief, he tries to hold back the inevitable.

I've been there. I doubt I've ever met or will meet anyone who hasn't. The alternative, in the beginning is not conscionable because we can't imagine we will fail; afterward we wonder why we didn't or couldn't step away before we were crushed because the crushing haunts us forever.

 Chronatarot Tarot Robyn Tisch Hollister, Majors 2004-2008

Too Good

Celtic Dragon Tarot ~ 6 of Coins

The dragon is holding out a handful of gold. Is it offering or showing? Generousity or temptation?

I'm reminded by this card and the suggested nature of dragons, if it is too good to be true it likely is.





Celtic Dragon Tarot D.J. Conway/Lisa Hunt 2003 Llewellyn

3 Bells Indeed

Ironwing Tarot ~ 3 of Coins/Bells

Ah, the Ironwing, where passion in a subject plus talent plus dedication to the long haul form a whole.

If it were easy everyone would do it
When the going gets tough the tough get going
Talk? Or do?

Tomorrow begins a Do that has been simmering on the back burner (do nothing space) for five or six years. With the help and encouragement of three teachers. 3 Bells indeed.

Ironwing Tarot Lorena Babcock Moore 2004, self published

Hearth And Home

Hoi Polloi Tarot ~ 4 of Wands

Hearth and home. Often unappreciated and underrated if we think of it at all. Hell if we have to be there and it isn't a place of safety and shelter but rather danger and harm. Missed like a limb or child if torn from us.

Our home probably looks better today than at any time in the nearly 50 years since it was built. Maintenance has finally caught up with all it's needs, we finally have the time for the pretty part of keeping up the property. I called a drone photographer yesterday to see if a from-the-sky photo could be arranged. Something to look back on and admire when the day comes hearth and home ownership is no longer in the cards.

Published as The Tarot, 1972, Hoi Polloi Inc. NYC

Lemon Blue Conclusion

Halloween Tarot ~ 9 of Coins/Pumpkins

All's right with the world; we have a new family member this week, Rudy the Lemon Blue Old English Game Hen bantam rooster. Our charming rooster Peanut died last fall, a shock to us, and to his little banty harem. They got progressively shyer and flightier and seemed to lose their commonsense entirely.

So we went to the poultry swap Saturday and after looking over the studly parade settled on Rudy. His two trump cards being small and gentle. Two days later, the little girls are friendly and calm again, coming up to take dried worms and cracked corn from our hands. Minding his admonitions and appreciating his generous notice of and sharing of the most succulent tidbits. A wonderful 9 of Coins conclusion. Welcome to our family Rudy.

Halloween Tarot Lee/West, U.S. Games Systems 2003

Too Fun To Be Legal

New Palladini Tarot ~ Queen of Wands

Fully developed wand, her hair, clothes, jewelry, pose, and background well thought out, all peak of perfection. Never achieved it myself, but my strongest efforts were probably around age sixteen or seventeen. That driving urge to fit in, not show weakness or a crack where bullying or shame or being less than (what?) might insert and cause embarrassment.

Being embarrassed seemed the worst thing in the world in that enclave of fitting in. Yet none of us really did, it was the six of us, in solidarity that helped us survive that age. In honor of my Frankendecken week, a favorite memory was the Halloween midnight horror movie show at the D and R Theater. Too Fun To Be Legal.

David Palladini/U.S. Games Systems 1997

Cheerful Death

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ Death

A cheerful Death; perhaps the Raven is a jokester. "She'd be happy to know she didn't die with bed hair".

I'm reading The Bookseller's Tale by Ann Swinfen, set in 1353 Oxford England following the bubonic plague which began in 1347.

This card and that book makes me wonder if our family were closer, if I'd be less concerned about building and maintaining our little family plot at the cemetery? I'm guessing it wouldn't have crossed my mind at all. A grim thought to have lodged in my mind, another layer of guilt spread.

Live With That

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ 3 of Swords

I carry my litany of sorrow with me, like a punishment I think, for what should have and easily could have been. I carry my grief because I cannot let it go, I carry my fear because I am human.

But when I drew this I thought "I've got nothing for this card today, life is good and I'm happy." My pulmonary doctor called me yesterday and said "congratulations you are officially lung cancer free, we can close the book on this dark chapter". I can live with that, literally. 

Hankering

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ 4 of Coins

If you have it others want it. If they have it, a hankering sets in.
I can understand why the idea of communes and communism catch on, it seems like life would be so much simpler if everyone was equal.

Which never happens. There has to be someone to stir the commune, organize the crops, pay the taxman, which seems to lead to helping themselves to children. In communism the old men just pick up the takings and get even richer and more powerful.

So here he sits. Save it and be damned by his neighbors. Spend it and be damned by his neighbors. I vote save it and let the neighbors eat cake. Spending it foolishly just puts it in the rich man's pockets. My personal bee in the bonnet. 

Multitasking

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ 2 of Coins

Multitasking seems second nature for women.
I wonder when I'm doing all this stuff, am I doing any of it well? 

Particular

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ 5 of Coins

Mutual support. One thing most everyone looks for regardless of our current station in life. Snowbirds flee to Mexico then huddle with other US snowbirds. Chess clubs. I'm meeting  a stranger for coffee this morning, why her? She is a quilter. If she were a rodeo rider, home schooler, militant anything? Probably not. Probably must surely not.

If I met those people by chance on a bus? I'd probably find them fascinating and enjoyable. But never follow up for coffee. Humans...gotta have their particular support group. 

Confidence

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ Queen of Cups

Confidence. That hair (seamoss?) swinging out like a model's...how much confidence do you think it takes a creature who lives underwater to sit and pose like this?

As a child, when completely out of my element I'd clam up, hunker down, become invisible. As an adult with new jobs new interests I learned it was to my advantage to be in front, ask questions, get my money's worth. But confident?

That is a tough one, and why she is Queen and gets the big bucks. More power to her. 

With A Flourish

Tarot of Little Secrets ~ Page of Coins

Initiation. So what does initiation mean in relation to retirement?

Learning to pace. When I met Rob's Uncle Elmer he was 51, just diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. They took one lung and one-third of the other. He lived another 25 years, I'm convinced because he paced himself. He hunted, fished, cleared property, built a house and big barn...but you never actually saw him doing something. He'd figured out you can move Earth half an hour at a time.

I think this wisdom applies even when energy and health are in abundance. We no long need to rush everything we do, we have the time to not only do it, but do it well. With a flourish, and not all this very minute. Cool.  

Pick Your Poison

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ 3 of Swords/Middle Eastern

I couldn't name a single middle eastern food.
Of all the people I know via the internet, not one is middle eastern.
Of all the places in the world the US shouldn't be it's the middle east.

That's all pitiful. 3 of Swords, pick your poison. 

Wishing I Hadn't

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ 9 of Wands/Hot Mess

Starting a sentence with "In my own defense" usually means I pulled a boner. Screwed up. Made a stupid mistake. In this case I waited too long to eat, ate too much, and eight hours later I'm still miserable because I'm too full.

The usual image of a bandaged man defending his ill built fort is a good one. An 'after the fact' image. Wishing I'd done it differently.  Better defenses. Repent in leisure. Oh, I am so full. Wishing I hadn't. 

Natural It Isn't

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ Ace of Swords/Sides

Swords are knowledge
Sides are expensive
Much olive oil is adulterated or not even from olives
Fish is commonly misidentified
Honey often isn't
Juice labels...read 'em
Ground coffee fluffed up with sticks corn barley
Tea bags? can include colored sawdust
Power bars and cereal with blueberries? Generally fake
Parmesan cheese, wood pulp

Rule of thumb? If it's cheaper on the shelf there is usually a reason.
Rich old men making more money.
. 

The Sleep I Had

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ 4 of Swords/Root

I make my coffee and sit down to do my blog first thing of a morning, so my dreams are still strong in my mind. Sleep should be a respite time, but mine seldom is. I'm either not sleeping or I'm dreaming vivid dreams, anxiety ridden. I even had a screamer this week, woke up Rob and scared the dogs... I'm on zero meds unlike several years ago when I had screamers all the time.

So what is the root of my problem, how do I cut it off? Haven't a clue. Nada. But the sleep I had before getting up was a classic nasty. 

Classic

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ 5 of Swords/Classic

Often seen as contempt. I've just finished Rodney Dangerfield's It's Not Easy Being Me life story (and it wasn't, he did have a unmentored life) but the story that sticks in my mind is the friend who thought it was hilarious to go to a dance with a coke bottle taped to his groin/leg.

Not sure where contempt falls in this but does express how little I understand men. More a contempt for how excessive drink and drugs makes a dunce of anyone. I've been drunk on my butt any number of times in my youth, and didn't I always think I was the funniest person in the room? Would I have laughed about the bottle? Probably.

A more interesting bit about the Classic can be found here.

Justice and the Peanut Gallery

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ Justice/Holey One

My dad died of heart disease at 69. After his first massive heart attack at 60 he had a triple bypass and thereafter began the dietary lessons. Dad was always fit, healthy, and active, but learning that beef and butter and eggs create cholesterol he often moaned at the injustice that he'd killed his whole family because we lived on a farm and beef butter eggs were staples.

He drove a concrete mixer truck and my eye cuts to the card thinking it was the stops at Bill's X-L for a dozen donuts when his route had him passing that might have been the bigger problem.

Is Justice paying for our actions? When we know what we are doing and doing it anyway (smoke/drink/drugs/food/couch potato) no doubt. But 'not fair' shouts ring from the peanut gallery of life. (28 peanuts is a serving...hardly seems worth the effort)

Worth What You Paid For It

Food Fortunes Tarot ~ Magician/The Slice

This is a crazy deck, prepare for odd posts..
I had my first slice at sixteen. Gino's, Aberdeen. Love at first bite.
In all these many years I never ordered or made anything but pepperoni. Yes, I knew all the other kinds were wonderful, but could never see a reason to mess with perfect pizza magic.

Until last fall in Montana. In two and a half months gone we had four restaurant meals. Pizza Hut being one, a snowy evening when easy seemed a good idea. I lost my mind and had pepperoni and pineapple on my side. Delish! And now that is the way we make my half at home because it was a good memory. We make our own, once a month. Always delish.

That's my pizza life story, worth what you paid for it. 

Marigolds in the Vegs

Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Service

I don't do any kind of service at this point. Have done a lot over the years, library, animal shelter, Red Cross, personal, have just fallen out of the habit in retirement I think. I wonder what kind of options are even available here?

Perhaps this is a thread I will follow next week. Start at city hall? I must remember the point of the marigolds in the veg garden, there are all kinds of ways to be vampired by the idea of good works. 

Back From The Brink

Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Mindfulness

Checking in on ourselves. Sounds simple, easy to gloss over. Easy to say it isn't important, I can wait, I'll take care of me tomorrow, it isn't bothering me, I'm not tired, I'm not hungry, I'm not burnt out, I'm not mad, it can't be despair. 

Living in the world we can be all these things and more, nearly oblivious of standard states of being we move in and out of.

My turning off the news, clear off, none allowed, was a check in. I realized I was moving back to the place I said I'd never go again, allowing someone else the power to get in my mind and live there, fomenting hate. I can hardly believe it took me so long to recognize where I was.

I don't miss the world, the world doesn't miss me, and that healthy attitude pulled me back from the brink, no small thing. 

Unhuman

Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Acceptance

On a personal level about personal issues do we ever accept what we can not change? To accept  would probably be healthy. But giving up seems unhuman.

When this wave sweeps the sandcastle away do we see the sand is still there or do we weep for the loss? Do we build higher on the beach with less biddable sand and a lot more work? Do we turn our back and switch to rock balancing? Kick over someone else's castle? Go group effort?

Did you know professionals have a kit, a plan, molds far beyond yellow buckets and a plastic shovel? 

How Many Ways?

Elements of Recovery Deck ~ Honesty

A fine line sometimes. I had to darken this image so it would show up. Fine lines, light colors, the snowshoe on quick observation could have been just a eye cave in a hill.

It is dishonest to take King's art and manipulate it to the benefit of the blog image? I would say yes. Am I prevaricating when I say 'but using her images with a clickable link on the side bar is  actually helping promote her deck? Yes. Am I clouding the issue by garrulousness? Indubitability.   

And I haven't even finished my coffee yet. How many ways will I be dishonest today? Your guess is as good as mine.