Sunday, June 30, 2019


Green Wheel Oracle ~ Wood Mouse

Quiet. Unassuming. Humble. Can one aspire to be humble? Does that mean I'm not? Conundrums...

I see this little (humble) wood mouse and my mind leaps to Redwall. Abbot Apodemus, Abbess Sylvaticus, Martin and Mattimeo, swordsmen and protectors, Mariel and her gullwhacker, Matthias, orphan and warrior. Malbun Grimp, Healer and Recorder.

Is it right to give woodland creatures anthropomorphic traits? Doubtlessly not, political correctness and common sense say no. But the stories are wonderful and as my grandmother would say about her soap operas, Redwall is 'just like real life'. Thank you Brian Jacques 1939-2011, wordsmith and worldbuilder. 

Friday, June 28, 2019

Hope + Effort

Spirit Keeper's Tarot Vitruvian Edition ~

 Malaise; questioning the purpose. Why get up and go to work? Why vote? Why bother donating to charity? None of it ever seems to make a whit of difference.  Why continue to do whatever, when it doesn't seem to matter, when no one seems to care, when in a hundred years no one will remember?

My reason for continuing forward is because it matters to me. That if something matters to enough people we can make a difference, leave this day better people that we came into it. The best of human, hope + effort. 

Thursday, June 27, 2019

The Path Of Non

Spirit Keeper's Tarot Vitruvian Edition~ Fool/Initiate

Spirit Keeper's has two Fool cards, Initiate and Seeker. Here we have the Initiate, not keyed to a chosen path.

My path has been so random, I'm not sure I ever had a plan in my life. On review it seems strange and dangerous. What was I thinking? Ha ha, I wasn't. Yet even today, the idea of committing to a path fills me with revulsion. I may not know who I am, who I could have been, but I'll also never be trapped, stuck, pinned. The willingness to just say no, that ruthlessness that allows me to walk away from what others hold as their rock, their safety net, gives me a sense of freedom all the perceived stability of culture couldn't match. The path of non works for me.

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Step Up To The Plate

Spirit Keeper's Tarot Vitruvian Edition ~ 2 of Coins/Orbs

The one's give us the potentials, the two's the reality. We can't have it all do it all, be all, so sorry. So begins the process of the Coins suit decision making; the first one being will I step up to the plate and do/be something at all? Will I do many things poorly to adequately, will I do one or two things well, will I excel at something, please?

How do we end up what we are? My kid jobs were because I was available. To local moms to babysit, to dad for farm chores, to mother for house work. But that set work ethics. Do it right or face disappointed parents. Far worse than angry parents. Somewhere in the background that singular consequence has carried through my life. There are worse things to measure by, I can live with that one. 

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Jobs and Job's

Spirit Keeper's Tarot Vitruvian Edition ~ 3 of Coins/Orbs

The Mason. This post is for David and Eluned, when a good laugh might not be amiss. I dreamed of us last night, in a small dirt road town where a parade was happening. Who has more fun than us?

My friend Betty Jo was part of Job's Daughters and got to wear long beautiful dresses. I wanted to wear long beautiful dresses. So one day I asked her mom, "my dad drives a concrete truck, can I be a Job's Daughter too?". She hugged me hard, but laughed until she cried, then explained a Mason wasn't a job. So no Job's Daughters for me. Ah the dreams of little farm girls. 

Monday, June 24, 2019

Change The Need

Spirit Keeper's Tarot Vitruvian Edition ~ Tower

The spirit of disappointment, even despair. If we feel Tower-ish but the house hasn't burnt down or the equivalent, look to the inner tower.

This Tower is sinking, being crushed by snake, menaced by trident, chained by doctrine, beset by lightning...clearly we've been avoiding the wake up call, we've refused to take up the battle axe.

Change the need. We can do this, it takes recognition, acceptance, and a decision. Turn away, seek a new direction, change the need. We can do this. 

Sunday, June 23, 2019


Spirit Keeper's Tarot Vitruvian Edition ~ 6 of Wands/Scepters

Victory comes with a price. There is serious pleasure in struggling through, reworking, networking, brainfarting, restarting, fine tuning, polishing...and recognizing we are finished. Free to begin again, wiser, more polished ourselves.

I expect that is why I start new projects, the push to learn a new skill, the bettering past efforts, and yes, the compliments. I've been in the high desert this week, working on one I kitted up for travel in 2017. I reached for the next section and there weren't any more! So the kitted up Sunflowers project came out. Sheer drudgery, drawing pencil lines corner to corner on 700 two inch squares. I know from experience starting with those lines ensures the successful progression to making chevron units. Part of the 6 of Wands it's worth it process.

Saturday, June 22, 2019

Gibbs, Chan, Barnaby, Booth, Shepherd, and Foyle

Children of Litha ~ 7 of Coins

To survive the Tibetan highlands Yaks have three times the lung capacity of standard cows and their food processes at a higher temperature to combat the cold weather. They have adapted to their needs in the world in which they live. It is nature doing the work though, not a long term plan for their retirement.

Modern populations? Not so much. We don't even know what our needs are anymore. Will our Roths and self-taught stock investments provide when inflation has eaten up our everyday monthly income? I'm confident. But I remember the weeks following 9/11 when 2/3 of both were wiped out.

On the other hand, as DVD players have gone the way of buggy whips...I've banked three in my stuff pantry. Bring on the future, I'll have Gibbs, Chan, Barnaby, Booth, Shepherd, and Foyle. 

Friday, June 21, 2019

Frabjous Kills

Children of Litha Tarot ~ 10 of Wands

A successful hunt becomes a challenge to keep. And in the case of food and hard times, of  course someone else will want it.

I'm struck by this card though, how hard we work for the things that aren't needs, and face it, no one wants stuff once it's used, Ever had a garage sale? Those expensive shoes that have only been worn three times? The games movies books? Why do we devote so much of our life essense to dragging it home? We are probably paying for twice the square footage we need just to store it all.

What if we could cut our housing cost in half just by recognizing and acting on we only need half of what we have. Wouldn't that be frabjous? Our hunt and kill time would be cut in half. What would you do with twice the time to play? For me, looking at acquisitions as kills is the is the best way to keep the "ooOOoo shiny!" monkey off my back. 

Thursday, June 20, 2019


Children of Litha Tarot ~ Moon

Something so magnificent (perhaps a Lindwyrm?) shouldn't be held to mother's manners rules should it? How many dragons do we know we could ask? Not the one St. George so dispictibly slew...900 years after his death mind you. Not Smaug, who only did what dragons do, now dead in a fiery watery crash. Nessie, perhaps a Lung Dragon? He ain't sayin'.

I can see my nighttime willywobbles from the rearview mirror as fearwisps ignored, or face on as a learning opportunity. A thousand years on this rock with this dragon, might just begin to teach me what the world has lost in it's ignorance. 

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

In The Dark

Children of Litha Tarot ~ 6 of Wands

Respect, earned. There are acres of people I respect, local to world-known. People I have respected who've failed and fallen away. People I'll never know who unfailingly stand up, whose walk follow the talk, lead with light.

If it seems there are never enough of them to make a difference is it because we lack the light, maybe we really want and like the dark that leads us now?

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Karaoke Death

Children of Litha Tarot ~ Death

Karaoke-ing Death? Reading Death as Death is a losers game, in a mundane reading. How many people do you know that will die today or died yesterday? Probably no one.

Transition is the don't scare the punters to death keyword. And what could be a more transitional life experience than Karaoke? Take away the booze and would we consider even doing it? You don't see it being offered as a come on at lunch counters and bus rides do you?

So there he is, the little everyone kicks sand in his face redheaded guy...king of the crowd. And changed. He did it, a brave thing, which makes the next brave thing that much easier to tackle. Go little guy, Death rocks! 

Monday, June 17, 2019

Knight Think

Children of Litha Tarot ~ Knight of Swords

Steadfast, while flinging himself at danger. I'll buy that, but not that dragons are an enemy. My observation is large men, animals...they intimidate by size and seldom fight and destroy unless attacked first.

Humans. Shoot first, shoot some more, then question the corpse. We have to evolve beyond knight think. 

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Creeps Seeps Wicks

Children of Litha Tarot ~ Star

Transformation after destruction. Wind seemingly out of nowhere, then gone again leaving missing houses, flat forests and crushed people not where they were.

Fires can burn for weeks here leaving thousands of acres grey with black stubs and stumps, squares where homes stood, guarded by hulks of unpaid for autos.

But water. It creeps and seeps and wicks. Across miles of flatlands obliterating crops, into neighborhoods and towns inching up steps, across doorways. leaving a blanket of mucky silt and riverbed life.

And then the Star and transition...finding the mind heart energy balance to begin again. Humans. Sometimes I have to admire us, we seldom give up, walk away, once we are invested in something.  

Saturday, June 15, 2019

Dagger or Duckling?

Animals Divine Tarot ~ Ace of Swords

A worrisome image, that big dagger and those little ducklings. Asking what am I not addressing clearly and honestly.

I don't want to talk about it. Which is no doubt why all the years of my life this anomaly goes around and around my mind and days. I am who I am regardless of how much I'd like to be someone else.

So I don't address it squarely, don't talk about it, don't go there. Am I the dagger or the duckling? 

Friday, June 14, 2019

Lucky Stars

Animals Divine Tarot ~ 7 of Coins

Not much on offer here. Unless you are the right person at the right time.
The right person at the right time to get the best boss I ever had for seven years. He knew how to encourage self confidence so we all did better work. Thank you Tom Moss.
Right place at the right time to catch Rob's eye on leave. And still there when he came home seven months later when he caught my eye and it was all over for anyone else.

Life just happens and mostly we just live it, but remembering our lucky stars times, well that's all good isn't it? 

Thursday, June 13, 2019

The Right Hard Thing

Animals Divine Tarot ~ King of Swords

Hatchet man. Leader who understands the consequences of pushing the button. One who makes decisions, carries them out, and stands behind them, never denying, shifting blame, obfuscating.

These men and women walk among us every day. There is glory in power, not waiting in lines being one of the best...but the burdens are big also. Real leaders put in the longest hours, have a working knowledge of whatever system they are in, and receptive brains to take in new facets and permutations.

I love a good King of Swords, you always know where you stand with them and they can be trusted to do the right thing, even if it is the hard thing. 

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Island of Misfit Toys

Animals Divine Tarot ~ 7 of Swords

In the Rider-Waite tradition, deceit/deception. In the Thoth, futility. Eventually we will fall asleep and then the boogie man really is there. Eventually the frog forgets about the shadow and moves. And so does the egret; nailed.

Our  new family member Rudy is sick. We didn't realize he was sick when we brought him home, he was just different. Like us. Here at the Island of Misfit Toys. Whatever little imbalance he had in the beginning (maybe he has never been out of a cage?) turned into inability to walk in a straight line. (Maybe he is single visioned?) Today he ran into the wall making his way out the popdoor, fell off the ramp, and spins in a circle more often than making forward movement. (stroke?) Whatever it is is progressing at a rapid rate of speed and beyond a shadow of a doubt we are losing him.

Sometimes I hate love, it hurts so much. 

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Fly Away Home

Animals Divine Tarot ~ 4 of Wands

Ladybugs (not a bug, but a beetle) don't actually 'go home' like a honey bee does, they just hang about food sources (aphids) and then hibernate, living on their body fat. If they find a crevice in tree bark or house foundation suitable, it produces a pheromone that attracts others, so it is common to find dozens if not hundreds at a time in their off-season location. A warmth in numbers thing.

All that said to say this is a beautiful card in nature, idea, and color. But ladybugs don't fly away home. Humans give something cute a life, humanized. Not cute? Say cockroaches (not a bug but an animal)? Kill baby kill. But cockroaches have many generational colonies and do not interbreed. Which makes them smarter than...ummm. All that said to say a home is a home whether there are one or more of us, a secure place we can feel safe. I wish that for every living thing. 

Monday, June 10, 2019

Couldn't Pay Me Enough

Animals Divine Tarot ~ Empress

Is it patronizing to feel pity for Hera, the queen of the gods? Considered the Goddess of Marriage & Birth, her brother/husband Zeus was consumed with bedding and fathering. Anyone, anything.

We can't know what draws people together, from what each draws their satisfaction in a union. Someone you or I might not touch with a ten foot pole is catnip to someone else.

Gods. People. Go figure, couldn't pay me enough to be the Empress. 

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Arbequina Olive

Animals Divine Tarot ~ Queen of Swords

In myth Athena presented the olive tree to Athens, introducing this hardy productive long lived fruit tree to the world. That tree is said to still be in the Erectheion, Acropolis, or shoots therefrom. Athena. Focused, in for the long term, Queen of Swords.

The Arbequina cultivar can be grown here in the jungle of the Pacific NW, along with excellent wine grapes to go with our outstanding cheeses. Who needs the world, we have it all here.

Saturday, June 8, 2019

Bent Entertainment

LXXXI Quareia ~ Faerie King

A trickster who creates havoc for his own bent entertainment. Kicking over someone's lego construction or sand castle, lets animals starve, drops rocks off overpasses, poisons the well, sabotages a job or community project. Sometimes they are sly enough to go on to positions of great power, altering the course of country and history.

Beware the person who says "can't you take a joke?". They have much worse in mind. 

Friday, June 7, 2019

Fairweather Bites

LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Man of Nature

"Nature is a harsh balancing act that does not care what is in your heart". Quareia

Johnny Weissmuller? Radagast? Secretary of the Interior David Bernhardt? Big game hunter? Farmer?  My little brother is probably the closest to a man of nature I'll ever know, he has a roof, but no power or water in the middle of a forest. The life he has come to, not one he meant to have. Endless beauty that has not brought him peace.

Which is what people think they will find in nature. We bring the world with us, mostly posing in, next altering and shoving and bending real nature, taking fairweather bites without ever coming close to the truth.  

Thursday, June 6, 2019

Starry Eyed

LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Magical Temple

Form and structure for practice, training, community.
Does it hold what we need to grow and expand?
Does it hold us, with fossilized concepts and drills?
Does it contain mentors who love what they do?
Blindered teachers who know and care for only rote?
Does it offer succor and fresh open ideas?
Regimen so we don't have to think for ourselves?

The world is a temple of learning, starry eyed isn't the way to approach. 

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Blood Calls

LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Temple of Ancestors

All that has and who that have gone before us. The collective wisdom, our Inner Library that we can call on when we need it in a situation.

If I could call an ancestor, draw on what they know, who would it be? My paternal great great grandmother. Choctaw. The ancestor I know the least about and which probably affects me most. Blood calls after all. 

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

The Day The String Stops

LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Fate Holder

Atropos, or Morta, if you follow minor gods, the Fate Keeper, the end of the thread holder, the CEO of our life span, but not arbitrator of the span within that finite line of string.

I'm mad the minute I pull the card, "no one owns me, I make my own decisions". And yes I do, within a tiny mini-spectrum. The world and environment we are born into have already set much of our future regardless of how we twist on the hook. The meteor with our name on it, the ebola carrier who coughed all over the grocery cart, the drunk behind the wheel of the car that should have stopped at the red light... phooey, can't worry about that stuff.

I follow the string to the Light. I care not what day the string ends, today is what matters, and how I choose to live it. 

Monday, June 3, 2019

Someone Else's Dark

LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Imprisoner

Imprisoner closes paths, withholds the light. Nails our proclivity to kill and crush others to the wall, or self-prisons with belittlement, self loathing and blame. The life coin, the big side and the little one.

I can only abhor the big side, wonder why given power it always corrupts. The little side, my life? Work at not allowing the comfort of stasis to occlude reality worth living, worth remembering. Open eyes appreciating what I have what I do where and when I live.
I refuse to exist in someone else's dark. My life, my choice, each and every morning.

Sunday, June 2, 2019


LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Disease

Little long term consequence or total reassessment required? Congenital or caught? Uninvited or deserved? Unless afflicted with hypochondria we don't give much thought to disease, mental, physical, or emotional unless it touches us. And there are some that think it doesn't exist.

I gave myself breast cancer, cosseted it's birth and growth with rage. I didn't deserve lung cancer. Have I said it was very rare, generally found only in SE Asia?
Five years of black suicidal depression, did I keep it close, pet it? Did I fight it, like trying to put a sock on an octopus? I don't know, I had a disease, leave me alone.
When I'm not being put out, I find my eyes interesting.

Compassion. I hope I am never dismissive or repelled by someone else's burden. That would be a disease in itself. 

Saturday, June 1, 2019


Tarocchi Neoclassico Milano ~ Hermit

 I proceed from a beginner's mind.

Tarocchi Neoclassico Milano, Meneghello reproduction first  published by Ferdinando Gumppenberg from 1807 to 1816 in Milan Italy