Friday, August 30, 2019

Fight or Flight

Brady Tarot ~ 4 of Swords

Hamlet came to mind when I saw this, "'Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles". Fight or flight. A friend mentioned this week that her husband of 50+ years had taken it upon himself to rearrange her kitchen tools. Hers because he doesn't cook.

My response was turn your chair around and work your favorite puzzle, we have to pick our battles. Other responses were much more militant and made me feel bad for their spouses. It is a once in a lifetime together action, he isn't killing her dog, selling her car, cutting up her clothes, dumping her personal creative space...there is no meanness in it or control issues, probably more a reaction to a world in which he can make no changes.

This bird isn't hit, more taking the time to observe the strengths and weakness of the opponent. Flying off the handle/flight or fight solves nothing and if revenge is required some thinking is in order. 

5 comments:

  1. I might take your advice and do no more than lift an eyebrow, but it would irritate me if my husband were to behave so arrogantly, as he has often done -- telling me how I should read books (he doesn't read books himself) and how I should do dishes (he doesn't do dishes himself) and how I should stake up my flowers (he doesn't grow flowers himself) so on. If "improving" the lives of others, unasked, isn't a control issue, what on earth is it? -Kate

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  2. No one tells me what to do, not twice. But I do enjoy gentle advice, as often it is a corner I've not looked around. But TELL? Go screw yourself and the horse you rode in on :) When dad retired he nearly drove mother crazy, not sure he'd even been to a grocery store before...why are you buying that, why that? I don't know if she ever let him have it, but he'd been eating meals at her table for 30+ years, where did he think the basics came from? your Scott would require some teeth gnashing and battle picking for sure! thanks for stopping by, s.

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    1. Ha Ha, yes, exactly! and I often say that this is my karma, as I used to question my former husband "Why are you doing it that way? Why don't you do this?" and of course I thought I was being helpful, but he felt criticized. I'm getting my just deserts! -Kate

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I welcome your thoughts. Good bad or indifferent; opinions are the lifeblood of conversation and I always learn something from a new point of view. Thank you for visiting, Sharyn