Say It To Me

Rosetta Tarot ~ 2 of Swords

Clarification of complications. Sometimes it takes a little self-whup up the side of the head. Because until we choose otherwise we see what we expect or want to see.

I'm finding 'perspective' a difficult word this year. I think I've trained myself to distance, to be an observer. Perhaps what I need to do is jump in the fray, shout my opinions, seek out pointless fights for the adrenaline surge.

I won't, I'm never going there again, but with the 2 of Swords, food for thought is what do I need that I've turned my back on? Not something worldly important that I can't do anything about. 2 is a little card...I'm missing something for me. I wonder if that current ebay hunt is a clue. What is the underlying trigger? What am I not addressing because I'm looking in the wrong direction? And there I was, wondering what this card could possibly have to say to me when it came out of the fanned deck an hour ago. 

More Of Both

Rosetta Tarot ~ Fool

"Leaps of faith and folly" Meleen

Been there done that, hope to do more of both.
I'm restricted to doyen, looking forward to hoyden. 

Do You Think That Wise Sir?

Rosetta Tarot ~ 7 of Cups

Mellen says "intoxication and illusion manifested from disturbed thinking and emotions". A glaring example in the news every day. 'Nuff said about that.

I've thought about my new fun obsession with three different search parameters set up on Ebay to feed it. The returns are fun to mentally run my fingers over, psychically sniff...no clicking on buy it now though. I do have my three week rule after all.

I've thought about Kobe Bryant, being deified in the news for "any time I can get even 20 minutes with my kids I'm going to find a way to do it" thereby smashing nine people including children into a hill.

Those bright ideas, without anyone to say that's the dumbest idea I ever heard, create a cloud that people really live in. Our 7 begs us to think and think again, make space to hear Sergeant Wilson's "Do you think that wise sir?".

What IS It?

Rosetta Tarot ~ 2 of Wands

What is the goal of conquest? Always boils down to what does it profit, but there is the crux...  what is our goal? We have to clarify self before we can even begin to take the journey.

Handlamp Headlamp

Rosetta Tarot ~ Hermit

"Isolation and introspection that leads to illumination" Mellen

Excellent if our hearts are true and minds are pure, we will and do learn things that make us better, more useful.
But the closed mind, seeking, just goes deeper in the labyrinth of half thoughts, conjectures, paranoia.
The exterior handlamp and the interior headlamp need to both be switched on. 

My Profit Is Freedom

Rosetta Tarot ~ Lust/Strength

A card that is all over the map. Is it XI? Or VIII? Is it an angel, pure young milkmaid soothing a gentle pet, or a wild woman drawing adrenaline from the savage and untamable?

We can be what we are told and taught to be, hunker down and feel guilt imposed on us by others. Or we can step outside our cage and ask why. Whose profit is served by going with the flow, with the crowd, with the musty old constructions ? We are served by groupthink if we never want to make ripples. Never want to argue, never want to draw attention. If we profit by that think.

My profit was freedom. Heart and mind. Dogma is akin to being buried in treacle, never the sweetness advertised, but poison. 

Ain't Got No Worries

Animal Totem Tarot ~ Moon

Night Time. What comes to mind?
Moon
Dark
Cooler
Insomnia
Night worries
Honcho sleeping on my shoulder
Howling at the Moon!
Deer in the raspberries
Is 3 AM too early to get up? Apparently not.
On the other hand, from this list, I ain't got no worries, and I'm feeling good enough to get up and down stairs by myself so all good on the Western Front. Cool beans.

Put It In Perspective

Animal Totem Tarot ~ 3 of Wands

The woodpecker can only knock on one Wand at a time, but there are two more available. Our 3 of Wands advises us to consider them all.

I curious why he choose a Wand at all. They drill holes looking for food, not much in a dry stick. They knock on our metal roof in the spring, great reverb to draw in the admiring females. They drill posts and trees to hollow out nests. So what was his great idea here? Just "I make this stick look good"?

Like our latest greatest idea, on reflection, he will see he was too close to the subject to recognize the futility or pointlessness of the exercise. We need these lessons early in life, which help us put things in perspective later. We hope. 

Double Wide Grass Shack

Animal Totem Tarot ~ 4 of Wands

This card suggests if we are to do something make it worth our while, put in the effort. Represented by the bowerbird, someone new to me. Doing some quick research I'm gobstopped, here are a few samples of how Mr. Bowerbird builds and decorates his home.









We can drive down any street in the world and see who understands the value of a home. Grass shack, 3 bedroom with all mod cons, double wide in the park, bunkhouse in the woods. Houses, but not homes until we make them so. 

All well on the home front, thirty minutes and my coffee here, then back to bed. New kitchen countertops today, a shiny kitchen bower!

Nothing Stays The Same

Animal Totem Tarot ~ Wheel of Fortune

Nothing stays the same. Unless we're dead. But we aren't so tonight something will be different than it was this morning. I know I'm losing another body part in a few hours. I won't miss it, won't miss being sick, but I wonder if my body will.

But what about what I don't know about? Who will I meet, what will I read, where will I be that will learn me something as my father-in law would say, teach me, surprise me, scare me, delight me? I'm betting on all those things. Because when we are alive, nothing stays the same. 

Chicken Guide

Animal Totem Tarot ~ 6 of Coins

"Acting together or  creating a riot" Robertson
That sums up chickens in a nutshell. Generally sociable with a pecking order, if anything seems amiss they make as much racket, movement, and flapping as they can. Chickens are soft as butter to pick up and pet but get whacked with a wing in motion or raked with a spur and you'll know it.

Robinson works hard to morph all animals into personal spirit guides and I'm uncomfortable with the cultural misappropriation. All life has something to teach. Whether we learn it or not is up to ourselves. But I do love chickens, mine have gotten me through some hard times with their soft chattering. Chickens have a whole language, I'm guessing Robertson doesn't know that. But I'll not ask one to guide  me. 

Is This All There Is?

Animal Totem Tarot ~ 8 of Cups

Thought of as noble, the sort of icon to strive for, the Salmon fighting it's way upstream.  The part most people never see or think about, is the salmon die after they've made the trip. Redbacks the fishermen in my family called them, caught only for the roe inside for future fishing trips, not the meat, it isn't much good. They line the banks, dead, the air filled with their stench.

If we consider our journey akin to spawning salmon, what does that say about our goals? It is good to have movable ones, flexible, able to be enlarged upon. Far better than getting there and wondering "is this all there is?". Because the journey changes us...

Seek It, Grasp It

Blum/Gern Rune Deck ~ Kano Kenaz

Fire, clarity; the more light we have the clearer we can see. Sounds self evident but we clutch our darkness close. We believe it, we know it, it must be so. Therefore no other opinions or directions need apply.

One of the saddest things about adulthood, that closed mind. That comfort cocoon that closes off alternatives.

 I will honor each nugget of knowledge that comes my way by at least examining and considering its merits. That means avoiding my ruts, and looking outside my norm. I'll ponder how to do that with my coffee while Not going to my next standard three morning bookmarks. Gulp.

We know two things well, job and hobby. There is more. Seek it, grasp it. Entertain an idea.

The Price We Pay

Blum/Gern Rune Deck ~ Fehu

The price we pay.
For what we get,
for what we have,
for what we've let slip away,
for what we let moulder.

Stewardship is everything, a lesson I wish I'd learned a lot sooner, but truly, better late than never to recognize value, to be discerning, to appreciate. Acquisition isn't a goal, it's a bottomless cavity. 

Fart In A Hurricane

Blum/Gern Rune Deck ~ Radio

Mental, physical, spiritual journey. Where are we going, what will we do, where will we really be, when we get there?

Some days I don't know and don't care.
Other days I work out a plan and steer in a specific direction.

In the end I'm not sure either method is worth a fart in a hurricane. Does it matter? 

Conspiracy Theory

Rune/Gern Rune Deck ~ Pertho Perth

Revelations of that which was hidden. What was lost, found. Phoenix, risen and released.

My mind goes to conspiracy theories. I grin when I hear others expounded; crazy talk, fuzzy logic, closed chat rooms, reason and alternate opinions not welcome...

but I have my own pets, oh yes I do. Reasonable, well thought out.  I'll bet you do too.

Stuck/Standstill

Blum/Gern Rune Deck ~ Ice

So many things to do, so little incentive to do them.
I'd say dusting is my biggest stuck/standstill.
Takes about thirty minutes to dust the whole house.
Am I doing it? Ummm, let's see, what else can I do...?
Add it into February's go around a room 2020 plan?
Should be enough of it by then to make it worth my while.

The figure at the bottom of the card is in childs pose, maybe this is where I shout at myself "what are you, 8 years old?".

Inherit The Void

Blum/Gern Rune Deck ~ Othila

Seperation, peeling off old skins, radical severance, inheritance. Because when a void is made something fills it.

In this case choosing our own inheritance, that which fills the void. That space could be bookshelves, which I emptied last year. Favorite books replaced on audio. Rob's classic BritWit series and movies. Photo albums, seven reduced to three decluttered of photos we wondered why to took, why we saved, a good exercise indeed. Shoebox sized containers of specific cuts of fabric, ready to stitch into something wonderful. Northwest Fly Fishing magazines, fingertip ready to plan an exciting trip or a little armchair travel. That yawning emptiness that filled me with such sorrow a year ago, twenty-seven shelves now repurposed with pure pleasure. Best kind of inheritance, the one we give ourselves. 

Powerful Purification

Blum/Gern Rune Deck ~ Berkana

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum. Gotta be the longest movie title in history. But two funny (odd) things happened yesterday. Me being so self controlled and all...

I had an episode of rage, so bad I hurt my jaws clenching my teeth, my throat was raw from screaming through those teeth, my thighs have bruises where I gripped them with my fingers. I went out on the deck in the black rainy predawn and did some deep breathing, a lot of slow forward salutations, some self namaste...by this morning I've identified the root. I've worked so hard to adapt to my changing eyes, and something I did backfired. And there's me, thinking I'd gotten on with life, it is what it is. Apparently not.

The other was an expression of grief for my mother, that took me so by surprise...maybe that shouting harridan with dementia who has been dead for three years will finally begin to recede and Real mom will come forward. I can hope for that new beginning. It would be a blessed relief. 

Make It Sweet

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot ~ Queen of Wands

The "get 'er done" girl. I like all the queens, they represent the best in us. Coins, good stewardship, Swords, clear reasoning, Cups, emotional balance.

This queen...she generally has a cat and a sunflower in the RWS style. Thoth style it's a leopard and pinecone. All kind of symbology if divining. I don't here, just relate what the cards say, this minute. Get my head straight, set my intention for my day.

My butterscotch boy Honcho is on my right, purring, squeezing his eyes, also planning his day, I have a sunflower clipped to  my pencil cup, a reminder of illness and the healing that follows, my icon to remind me life is good; partake, appreciate, it's short, make it sweet. Get 'er done. 

Expectations And Preconceptions

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot ~ Queen of Swords

Did you see...? Most of us didn't. Ten people asked to describe the perp at a crime scene would describe ten different people. At 5'1" I'd say with certainty a perp 5'8" was 'quite tall'. Someone standing next to me who was 5'8" would describe them as 'average height'. Fat and thin are flexible depending on our own body image. Brown and red hair are easily confused with each other depending on light.

The Queen sees it all clearly from her promontory. She isn't scurrying off after a few minutes, she is dressed for conditions. Her eyes are open, her hand and sword are accepting/noting/inviting truth. She sees what is, not what she expects to see. Our expectations and preconceptions rule much of what we miss. 

My Peace vs Your Peace

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot ~ 2 of Swords

Peace after conflict, in the unruly element of air. The world has never been at peace, can I expect to find peace within myself?

Short-term absolutely. It is clear this morning, and one day short of a full moon. I stepped out on the deck, did a moon salutation, feeling the peace, spoke a few words to the moon, which awoke Rusty Boy the rooster. Oops. Apologized to him for breaking his peace...

My peace may not be your peace. No doubt why there never is any, anywhere. 

Anxiety

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot ~ 5 of Cups

Emotional crisis, unconscious fears. My days are calm, my dreams are filled with anxiety. Last night it was someone in the neighborhood where we bought our first house, stuffing our mailbox with green foam trimmings and scraps. The anxiety comes from not being able to actually get to the mailbox, not being able to get it out, not being able to get it in bags, not being able to get it to the garbage can. Everything is complicated and takes forever with no resolution or completion.

Weird. I could go on for hours with examples...but it's day time and two glasses are full and all is calm and good. Weird. 

Disassemble That Fence

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot ~ 8 of Swords

I looked at my draw an hour ago and thought, fenced in or fenced out? Ten pounds I don't need, three holiday letters I haven't opened, from 2018...because I'm surely going to write a whole letter in reply...three big bins of nice 'stuff' that have been in the living room for two years. I absolutely don't want to have a sale, it's too nice to donate (what the hell does that say about me?) and none I've offered it to toward a fundraiser have come for it.

Just where is the fence in our lives? This morning I did something I never do, clicked on a sponsored story on a newspage. It's always about ads isn't it? Well in this case, maybe, three products and a youtube and instagram were mentioned...but the story of determination combined with hard work toward a life goal was inspiring, and I'm glad I read it. Perhaps it will help me be a determined person too. And disassemble whatever fence that is. 

Spurs

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot ~ Knight of Cups

Not sure how this person graduated to being a knight with those spurs. You'd kill your steed before long.

They remind me of when I 'get a notion' and leap on it. Or when our president does it. Spurs are never a good  idea.

Whims And Causes

Pagan Otherworlds Tarot ~ 4 of Wands

Structure, perfected work, in the suit of fire. Fire has massive energy but without direction and feeding it consumes itself and dies. I can look back and see these opposites through my life. Ideas that fell fallow, dollars spent uselessly on whims, causes fought and lost, or won, healthy love fed exercised and cleaned up after.

What will my new century offer me, what will I embrace and encourage, what will I grab and drop? Ask me again in thirty years. 

Traditional Thinking

Shaman's Oracle ~ Shaman of Tradition

Couldn't think of any traditions Rob and I have so looked up the defination. "transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation". Ahh. Not sure we have any of those either....we really are square pegs. In the wind. Outside the loop. Beyond the pale. Apparently we like it like that, but I love it when a card makes me think all day long.

Voting. We come from a long line of voters, every local, state, federal election since we've been 18. Huge amount of personal power in that, so many don't bother.

Having chickens.
Impeccable work ethic.
So that's three. I'll think on it. 

Crossing The Line

Shaman's Oracle ~ Ancestor of Boundaries

"Boundaries protect as much as constrain" Matthews

There were lots of things we weren't allowed to do as kids. Lots of things I won't do as an adult. Because crossing boundaries taught me a valuable lesson. Once you see something, once you do something, it can never be undone.

I don't know what anyone else's limits are, I only know mine. Knowing myself is an important part of who I've come to be. 

Spiritual And Physical Wounds

Shaman's Oracle ~ Spirit of Healing

Since I'm apparently unable or unwilling to work at healing, I did a blog search to see what I'd said about this card in the past. Mary Todd Lincoln, and Vietnam and Antietam, but the 2010 post is probably more to my state of mind today.

"I'm reminded by this card we probably have more spiritual wounds than any physical wounds we might pick up in the course of our lifetimes. Some we ignore, some we pick at to keep the pain fresh, and if we are lucky sometimes we heal and move on. This rock figure seems to be releasing into the light good, from which we can partake whenever we choose." Quirkeries April 11 2010

It Takes Courage

Shaman's Oracle ~ Shaman of Courage

Perfect card to pull for the first day of a new year and decade.  If it isn't what we want what will we do to make it better? Because life is just a word that rolls across us unheedingly. What we get out of it is up to us and that takes courage.