Thursday, April 30, 2020

Stability Protection Grounded Retreat

Golden Lenormand ~ House

Stability, protection, grounded, retreat.

4th home, 1 bedroom apartment with Rob. Then rented a small house from a friend, then had a mattress on the floor in a friends basement when we moved to Portland. From there a cute little duplex and made best friends with the landlord. Then we shared an upstairs/downstairs house with them, then a duplex again in Tigard.
From there we bought our first home. Oh The Joy.
Then with upward mobility our first Nice home. Wish we had that home on this property!
Then home to Kalama. A money pit, purchased from a jackass who prefaced each lie with "as a christian...". But we've persevered, changed everything we could to get rid of every cheapskate thing they'd done; it's pretty much George Washington's ax, with a roof. I've lived in 11 places.
Stability, protection, grounded, retreat. We love our home. 

Wednesday, April 29, 2020


Golden Lenormand ~ Coffin

I wonder when the riots will begin.
Two months? Certainly by autumn. 

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

House Of Cards

Golden Lenormand ~Rider

Prepare for something new, move quickly. I'm surprised we haven't heard of any bank runs. The stock market crash in 1929 triggered a run on banks which depleted, then killed them.

In theory the federal central bank (FDIC) now guarantees a full or partial protection if a bank fails. It guarantees it will make short-term loans to banks, to ensure if they remain economically viable, they will always have enough liquidity to honor their deposits.

Words leap to mind; partial, and if economically viable. The average bank is more careful on who they make loans to since the 2008 debacle and bank bailout, but who thought up to 20%+ of the population would be out of work. The part most likely to have loans they will never repay? A house of cards. 

Monday, April 27, 2020

Presenting As Stolid

Golden Lenormand ~ Mountain

In Lenormand-speak the mountain can signify obstacle or resistance, stolid or unemotional, constipation or paralysis.

At my father's funeral I heard an aunt say of my mother, that she was certainly stolid. I had to look it up when I got home and didn't take it has a compliment. But I was the one she came to and said "get me out of here, if one more person hugs me I'm going to break down in little pieces". And she did, going home.

The mountain we present to the public has little to do with the multiple peaks and chasms we contain on the inside. As adults she and I weren't friends, but in this one respect we were certainly mother and daughter. Presenting as stolid. 

Sunday, April 26, 2020

So Many Choices So Little Time

Golden Lenormand Oracle ~ 22 Crossroads

Stay in bed or get up?
Take a week off blogging, use the Tree deck again?
Ginger tea or peppermint?
Yogurt or Raisin Bran?
Fix the sheets that slip off the mattress or burn barrel 'em?
Use the new medicine or say I know better?
Clean the chicken house this morning or this afternoon?
Take a day off from the presidential clown parade?
Increase the size of the house border on the current quilt?

While I think about how busy busy busy I am, and how many crossroads there are in a day, I'll sip my ginger tea. And I have 25 unread books in my kindle app many choices so little time. 

Saturday, April 25, 2020


Tree Wisdom Cards ~ Detoxification

This is an apple tree but it doesn't feel like an apple tree to me, maybe a tomato tree. How often are things not what we expected, not what they seem; do we not have the introspective chops to recognize it?

My doctor and I are trying to identify what the heck is wrong with me by distant communication...she with skill and experience, me with possession of the body and Dr. Google. Is it an apple? Am I afflicted with tomato blight??  Detoxification would be a wonderful thing. Self-diagnosis, not so much.

Friday, April 24, 2020

Time's Perspective

Tree Wisdom Cards ~ Regrets

Sometimes we can't know what we'd regret until long past the time to have made the decision about it.

I regret not knowing Rob while he was still serving in 'Nam. Letters are important to soldiers and I was a good letter writer. And we'd have built a different basis for our early relationship.

I regret not taking nurses training. I would have been a good one, and even considered joining the service in order to take advantage of their schooling opportunities. But no, a grandfather dissuaded me with an argument I didn't even understand.

But I can live with those regrets, I've managed to work alternatives into my life and pretty much arrived at the same place. But it's interesting, the perspective time gives us. 

Thursday, April 23, 2020

Symbiosis And Potential

Tree Wisdom Cards ~ Potential

Joshua Tree. Not a tree at all but a yucca plant. Grows in only one place in the world, the American Mojave Desert and rely on the pronuba Moth for pollination. Which makes me wonder if that species is struggling like the world's honey bees which are in grave danger of extinction.

Symbiosis. The need for interaction to thrive. Families are experiencing something they will remember forever. Will the memories be nurturing or claustrophobic nightmares? Will they be closer for it, or will there be massive amounts of children petitioning for emancipation, like my Rob at thirteen?

We have unlimited potential...are we applying it? 

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Sooner Than Later

Tree Wisdom Cards ~ Worry

Personal level, local level, national level, global level. Trust me, the things we are worrying about today on three of those levels are going to get worse. The personal level? We have some choices, hard ones we haven't even began to grasp yet in our comfortable 1st World nations.

Click here for a post from 2008, a microcosm of ten years of real economic and emotional depression in the 1930s. On our personal level we haven't even begun to understand the seriousness of our future. Because we've lived like the world would never go dark.  Worry with thoughtful follow through actions, sooner than later is a good start. 

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Something To Chew Over

Tree Wisdom Cards ~ Relationships

Linden trees have clocked in at well over 1000 years old. Bees especially love their pollen and blossoms. They can grow to 100 feet and provide excellent shade. They also draw aphids and drip sticky sap.

Like most relationships, pluses and minuses. Rob and I have been together so long we've managed to turn each other's minuses into strengths we count on, else we'd have murdered each other multiple times.

I wonder what a psychologist would make of the middle third of my desk. Large glass with photos under it, the framed photos behind it. I'm not sure there are any newer than twenty years old, people don't take and share printed photos anymore. I built up my walls about twenty years ago... a correlation to chew over in the course of my thinking day. 

Monday, April 20, 2020

Slamming The Door

Tree Wisdom Cards ~ Self-integration

Not knowing what that meant, I took the Sharyn way and looked up European Spindle tree instead. Lovely in bloom, kinda shrubby/spindly/nondescript otherwise. The artist would have us think about how we compare ourselves to others. Do we measure up, do we judge them as less, therefore pointless, do we envy or disregard or hate?

Is what we can't stand in others our own worst fault? Never have bought into that. Or the concept of Original Sin condemning newborn babes. Get a grip. So. There I am, 5 AM, comparing and criticizing. Slamming the door on self-integration. So be it, life is full of BS, we don't have to buy into it. 

Sunday, April 19, 2020

More Than Style

Tree Wisdom Cards ~ Resourcefulness

When we all come out into the light again it will be pretty funny how we look with no barber and hairdresser care for months. I hope they all raise their rates and nobody complains. 

I'd sworn off getting haircuts and manicures and pedicures last fall, bravado because whatever was killing them all from the breast cancer medicine finally cleared my system and I have strong healthy keratin again, but now that I can't have one I'm hankering for a haircut. In the meanwhile it seems to have gone totally Meg Ryan. Like our tree here...

From my side of the monitor you all look lovely. Always do, always will. We are more than Style. Maybe we'll start appreciating that. 

Saturday, April 18, 2020

Trajectory Toward The Light

Di Vinci Tarot ~ 8 of Wands/Fire
Dimmi: Where are you aiming your intentions? 

Informed or unformed enthusiasm? Quite a big question in this eerie time of Covid. Our vital information comes to us from sources not to be trusted, always taken with a pound of salt. Only in retrospect will we learn what we should have and shouldn't have done.

I've stepped back from increasingly erratic and ill-formed social media interactions in my quilting groups, reinforcing my two hours max on-line.
I've finished and distributed locally seven dozen masks. Soon regular ones will be in every mini-mart and lemonade stand, no problem.
I've dived into a deep study of Lenormand cards...the subject isn't as deep as the history and symbology of tarot, but a fun project.
We've now fully integrated our little chicks into the remaining three from the old group. In two or three months we will have fresh eggs!
We celebrated the birth of triplets with friends in Australia!

The world will go on, dark or light. My trajectory aims to keep my personal world in the light. 

Friday, April 17, 2020

Still Shuddering

Di Vinci Enigma Tarot ~ 7 of Cups/Water
Dimmi: what story have you spun around this matter?

I dreamed last night we were on vacation and Honcho, our orange inquisitive cat, got into a basement somewhere that was crawling, moving, heaving, with lizards and spiders. What would you have done? I set on a step and called and called and called. Not helpful, cats don't come when called, they say 'take a number'. My throat is sore and I'm still shuddering. 

Thursday, April 16, 2020

Polishing The Bluestones

Di Vinci Enigma Tarot ~ 4 of Swords/Air
Dimmi: What rest, space, or growing room is needed?

I got sidetracked into Stonehenge this morning. Guess what...while normal tourist traffic is home resting, the stones are being removed and. Polished. It's been looking a little disreputable and time worn.

Really. Not kidding. Click here.  I need a little lie down to think about it.

And...Lego technology was involved in the sarsen tops. Really.
Click here. Brain exploding. Need rest.

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Heart's Desire

Di Vinci Enigma Tarot ~ 9 of Cups/Water
Dimmi: What is your heart's desire?

Up until a few years ago visiting the ancient sites in Egypt was always the top of my list. Now I can afford it and I'm old and tired and afraid of the Middle East. Not on the list at all.
A bright shiny kitchen like the magazines show. Accomplished in January with a good painter and new counter tops. My fifty year old kitchen is bright and shiny.
To die easy or quick. Not afraid of death, but there are a Lot of bad ways to get there.
Over-commonsensical, but I'm good with what I've got, where I've been, what I've done, who I am. My heart's desire is not waste my days and life, something always within my control.

Tuesday, April 14, 2020


Di Vinci Enigma Tarot ~ 2 of Cups/Water
Dimmi: What brings unity or reciprocation?

As a people watcher I'm interested to see who rises to the occasion and who sabotages, who works to heal and who tears down. Kalama has a population of 2700+ and the facebook group has 2722 members. We have a war veteran who keeps offering to come with guns if anyone has a problem. Before Covid he just posted the occasional right to carry arms memes. 

Washington's lakes and streams, parks, campgrounds and beaches are all closed...and there is a very long thread because someone saw someones fishing at Kress Lake. Nazi, snitch, nark...all names in the thread, along with dire warnings of complete government control, this is just the beginning. 

I get it. People are scared. Me? I'm just scared of my townsfolk. 

Monday, April 13, 2020


Di Vinci Enigma Tarot ~ Wheel/Time

Life is at a bit of a standstill, yet massive changes seem to occur daily that will affect us all long term.

So I had to laugh yesterday, gazing upon one of my failing eyesight adaptations I made January. A big magnetic white board to write appointments on, the calendar just isn't cutting it anymore. And there isn't anything interesting to write on it. Not much of a boo-hoo but an interesting micro-wheel happenstance. 

Sunday, April 12, 2020

Helping Hand

Di Vinci Enigma Tarot ~ 6 of Coins/Earth
Dimmi: What can you give? 

Some of the really rich have been giving prodigiously in the face of so much misery. Well done, I hope it doesn't go down a black hole like our tax money. Like state lottery money...anyone know anyone who was ever served by that great fount of grift? 

Every time the Prime van goes past our house I wonder "what are they thinking, she is now out of work and he is on half time. But I had a frenzy yesterday, ordered a deck, paid EIGHT DOLLARS AND NINETY FIVE CENTS SHIPPING. A deck ships first class for $3.50. I could have written a check for $30.00 to Helping Hand downtown. Now I just feel bad. But I'm going to be loving on that deck. I could still write a check to Helping Hand downtown... I could make it for $100.00. And give them a pile of masks. Yes. I'll do that, and wonder what percent of giving is altruistic and what percent guilt. 

Saturday, April 11, 2020

Our Little world

Tarot of the Origins ~ World

Megalithic circles. Standing stones. Neolithic henges. Halls, temples, shrines, dolmens, barrows, pyramids, forts, amphitheaters. In perusing the Wiki list, tombs are the most common ancient structures remaining.

Seeing the mass burials going on around the world (what did people expect would happen?) I wonder what the guilty still living will erect. Something expensive no doubt. Designed by committee probably. The dead won't care.

The World goes on, ice age, nuclear winter, plagues, and wars. Only a human thinks in terms of being remembered. We lost another family member this week. Rob's mom gave her up at birth, we only met her once. I grieve anyway, and wish she could be interred in our family plot. Remembered. In our Little world. 

Friday, April 10, 2020

Slack Tide

Tarot of the Origins ~ Hermit

Solitude, research, abstinence.
Also, time to off-load thinks. Men's grubby chins and cheeks. No wonder there is a whole group formed because they can't get women. I like a neat beard but the three day unshaven look? 1 + 1 says they've also got three day grubby underwear. Just. Euuu.
Women shopping in wrinkly pajama bottoms. Same. Euuu, please don't get near my groceries. Can anyone say cooties?

My friend Joan asked me what I think about Atlantis and the Bermuda Triangle. I was surprised to find I got no thinks there. Research and possibly I'd be lead down a path of conspiracy theories. I've got my own pet ones to coddle.

Sometimes, too much time to think, or too much time letting someone else think for us results in a brain trapped in slack tide. 

Thursday, April 9, 2020

Pink Swiss Chard!

Tarot of the Origins ~ 9 of Cups/Soul

Serene, organized, at peace. Or, open to circumstances. Ah, more like it.

I had a man ask for five children's masks yesterday. I said no, sorry. I didn't say, kids are out of school for a reason, to shelter in place. I didn't say I've seen kids with masks...up on their foreheads, under their chins, swinging by the strings, edge in the mouth being chewed on. Granted, I haven't been out since March 2nd, but I doubt kids have changed and they are supposed to be at home.

I had an ICU nurse come yesterday. She was crying because it was her day off and she said she felt guilty for taking care of her own business. I've had people show up with thread (thank you so much!) and veggie seeds (pink swiss chard, 9 of cups!) Life flows, we make of it what we will. I'm making masks. 

Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Road Apples

Tarot of the Origins ~ Ace of Wands/Nature

The root, the query, the quest. To begin the action of the Wands we have to know the what and why of the starting place. I love the visual of "he jumped on his horse and raced off in all directions at once". Easy to do, particularly when we haven't defined the goal.

I'm not so good with long term goals, although I reached one this week that I've been working towards since 1999/2001, part of my learn something new at that time. I never changed the goal, but I rode my horse in a lot of different directions to get here, backwards at least three times. Ace of Wands...try it, you'll like it! Or maybe not, but you'll have something to show for your efforts besides a pile of road apples.

Tuesday, April 7, 2020


Tarot of the Origins ~ Chariot

It wasn't the invention of the wheel that was stunning, it was the introduction of metal tools and carpentry skills to make axles which enabled wagons and carts to function. 3500-ish BC. Possibly from Mesopotamia, more likely the Ukraine is the current thinking.

How many ways will we utilize wheels today? There are wheels on the chair in which I sit, people are using wheels to come pick up masks, there are wheels in my sewing machines. On the DVD slider tray, in the CD player while listening to my books. The tractor, tiller, and lawn mower will be using their wheels today. Thank you wheels, for your service. 

Monday, April 6, 2020

High Road Or Low Road

Tarot of Origins ~ 5 of Wands/Nature

He holds a stone above his head. Is he planning to use it on himself? Against someone else?

We'll have lots of opportunities to make that choice over the next weeks and years. Will we meet on the high road or the low road? 

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Discussion That Must Be

Tarot of the Origins ~ 4 of Wands/Nature

Skulls on the ground. Reality. Cremation in Covid times. Reality.

Rob and I worked out our end plans in the beginning. I've always said cremation for me please, and we have his folk's ashes here waiting to go into the family plot where my parents and sister already reside. Rob saw his best friend burned alive in 'Nam and has always said coffin for him please.

So the master end plan is if he goes last his folks and I will go in the coffin with him, a lovely plan in my mind. If he goes first, I'll see I follow within a few days of last minute stuff and we'll all go in the ground together. Plots and stones already in place. I love a good plan.

A discussion that must be had. I'm glad we had ours so long ago.

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Bored Is A Choice

Peanuts Tarot ~ 3 of Wands

Kind of hard to build a team with one person. I wonder how many people are realizing living life online is a pretty pointless pastime. Watching passively rather than living.

Yesterday I made three dozen masks for the neighbors, today, back to my regular channel, exciting quilt work. I'll never be bored.

Friday, April 3, 2020

It Must Be

Peanuts Tarot ~ 10 of Swords

Criminitly - A old saying used to express surprise or shock.
I'm making masks for my neighbors.
Rob's brother called last must be the end of the world.

Thursday, April 2, 2020

When We Rebuild

Peanuts Tarot ~ Tower

In 1966 Snoopy lost all his possessions the night his iconic home burned. For weeks we worked through his grief and loss with him. The shock of hearing the insurance company wouldn't pay, said his premiums had lapsed...even though he'd faithfully sent in his can of dog food every month. Lucy swore it was because he was being punished for his sins. Snoopy's response was a resounding "BLEAH! Followed by the thought bubble "her kind deserves to be Bleahed".

His home was eventually rebuilt. The same but irrevocably altered. Because that is what a Tower moment is and does. It changes us; when we rebuild from Covid let it be for the better. 

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Dancin' Fool

Peanuts Tarot ~ Fool

Whoever put this deck together had a hard time choosing the Fool. It sure isn't Snoopy, but fool is a poor descriptor for this card. Open minded, imagination adventures, refusing to be encumbered, and willing to be happy alone.

When we get the weeps, the angrys, the desperates...step away from all the screens; that has never been where real life is. Live the one we've got.
Do the Snoopy dance. Never mind the naysayers, phooey on them.