Betrayal

Grand Etteilla Tarot ~ #18 Judas

Judas: being deceitful and betraying friends or country.

“They seek him here, they seek him there
That demned elusive Pimpernel”
Baroness Emmuska Orczy, The Scarlet Pimpernel

Scarlet Pimpernel is an obscure Scottish insult whereby you liken someone to the digestive tract of a bird. An obscure compliment where you mean someone is tiny, gaudy.

Interesting times when this is what leadership comes down to.

Bully Bus

Majestic Earth Tarot ~ 9 of Wands Trees

Waiting for the next blow. I said on the 27 of May the riots would start within two months. It's only been one. It is all that can be counted on when the world's biggest bully is driving the bus.

In The Wild North 1891, Ivan Ivanovich Shishkin 1831-1898

Turn A Deaf Ear

Majestic Earth Tarot ~ 6 of Wands Trees

"Crowned with purpose and grand expectations" Hinkle. She sees this image as a bystander hailing the parade leader with praise. My eye sees a citizen cursing horsemen for trampling his garden space.

It all depends on whose viewpoint doesn't it? Politics, religion, sky color... yours or mine? Never "our". It doesn't have to be a war of words and actions and ideals, we could simply agree to disagree, but that doesn't seem possible.  Can a country break a heart? Mine, yes.

The Departure 1837 Thomas Cole 1801-1848. Another young death, wonder how it would have painted it at 75? As an American he would have had experience of the Civil War and the personal and physical devastation it left behind. No one worthy of parades there.

Rob Magic

Majestic Earth Tarot ~ Magician

Manfred and the Witch of the Alps, 1837, John Martin 1789-1854. His left hand is doing the summoning, but at his right hand is a ghost. Does he know it? Did he summon it also, is it accidental, is it a bonus or will it be a curse? Did he do it or is the witch also working?

So many things we do in life have unintended consequences, spawn side effects we didn't expect, have long term ramifications we'd not have chosen had we known. Or set in  motion sooner.

The current funny? The new Easter Egger chicks are now 4 months old. Fully integrated with Rusty and the old girls now. But...they wait for Rob to go out to the coop and set them down on the floor in the morning. I say because they are women and Rob hugs are worth the wait, but he is worried they will stay up there all day when we go camping ;)  Not hardly, but Rob magic is pretty strong.

Daylight's Burnin'

Majestic Earth Tarot ~ Ace of Wands Trees

Energetic, animate, spirited actions. Past thinking about it. Past getting geared up for it. Past putting it off for tomorrow.

We'll have all the time in the world to just think about doing something when we're dead. Daylight is burnin', today is a good day to zoom about leaving a rooster tail behind us.

The Great Trees, Mariposa Grove 1876 Albert Bierstadt 1830-1902. In my entry I have a beautiful frame which holds a treasure trove of posters, including Bierstadt. Poor mans art, ten bucks a pop. I enjoy my changing masterpieces as much as a rich man might enjoy a million dollar painting. Maybe more...I actually see them. 

The Higher My Mountain

Majestic Earth Tarot ~ Sun

Valley of experience builds up mountains of life. Some of my experiences are real life. Don't lay your hand against the woodstove pipe or you leg against the exhaust pipe on a motorcycle. Some are learned vicariously via movies. When running for you life from someone with an ax don't run upstairs, (nowhere to go) or look backwards (face splat, indubitable).

My newfound expectation of living to 122 is already changing my life. That new machine quilter? Epic fail. I thought I could live with the results, I thought well if I bind and wash the quilt all that horrible work might shrink up and .... yesterday I began taking the quilting out of a whole quilt. 2800 square inches. I have time. To do things right, not settle. Another experience for my valley, enhancing the height of my life mountain. I can live with that. 

Astonished Look On My Gob

Majestic Earth Tarot ~ Queen of Wands/Creature of Trees

She composes her life with fire. She doesn't cower or cope, she conquers. She doesn't wait for joy to find her, she creates it. I'm always so surprised when my Queen of Wands breaks cover...who was that inner masked woman who saved me? Who gave me that extra boost of grit to finish, who kicked fear to the curb?

Love that woman, "get 'er done" she roars. And I do, astonished look on my gob.

"Morning in a Pine Forest" 1889. Ivan Ivanovich Shiskin 1832-1898. I can step out onto my little office deck and see this view, minus the bears. Mine is fir and cedar. I've often wished to visit Russia, never even once thought about it looking just like home. Good morning Russia! 

Different Strokes

Majestic Earth Tarot ~ 4 of Coins/Stone

Overrated attachments to comfort or possessions. Even a fortress over time can fall into ruin.  Ever wonder where all the rubble went, why sites like this are so clean? The locals have hauled all the expensive building material away and turned it into the strong walls of their homes. Excellent 4 of Coins solution.

The 1936 painting is The Course of Empire: Desolation by Thomas Cole 1801-1848. Died at 47. Think he was surprised by that? What would he have done differently had he known he was only apportioned a half-life? On the other hand he is considered the founder of the Hudson River school of painting, and his work in is art museums the world over. When I go at 122 years old what will be my legacy? She went in a poof and left nill. I'm good with that, rather than she left a pile of rubble no one wanted and it all went to the dump. Different strokes for different folks. Excellent 4 of Coins solution.  

Paper And Ink

I Ching ~ Hexagram 18 Ku Work On What Has Been Spoiled

Line 1: Let go of adherence to spoiled tradition.
Line 2: Persistent fear keeps us from releasing decay.
Line 3: Excessiveness invites discord but at this time more is better.
Line 4: Tolerating wrong leads to ruin, meet decay with clarity.
Line 5: There is no obligation to a wrong path, hold to truth.
Line 6: Improve myself, improve my world.

As always, my little pieces of paper and ink have made me examine my outlooks, underlying reasoning, petty perceptions, chose clarity over obfuscation. Improving myself improves my world. How will next week's paper and ink open my eyes and mind and heart? It is a process that continues until we die. If not, we've chosen to quit living while still breathing. What a waste that would be.

Hungry Hunger

I Ching ~ Hexagram 47 K'un Exhaustion

Line 1: Allowing despair prevents resolution.
Line 2: Impatience exhausts heart, mind, body.
Line 3: Repeatedly charging closed options undermines all efforts.
Line 4: Hardened minds are poison.
Line 5: All are exhausted, not just the one, hold to truth and stillness.
Line 6: Hold against harshness and doubt, help comes when we make room for it to enter.

I can peg each line with today's news and conversations. Stubborn, actively divisive, frightened of the unknown. Hungry. I'm part of a national study on effects of the Covid-19 as it affects home and family. This week's questionnaire had hungry or hunger in three different questions.  Being hungry clarifies if it is important that boxes of carpola from Amazon arrive the next day or the next week. It will still be useless crap either day. Impossible to chew and swallow. 

Rushing Stilly

I Ching ~ Hexagram 5 Hsu Waiting

Line 1: Challenge ahead, ready with stillness rather than anxiety.
Line 2: Danger draws closer, do not be lured off balance.
Line 3: Close danger pulls, remember principles.
Line 4: Great danger invites hardness, remember humility.
Line 5: Moment of peace, use it well and prepare for challenges.
Line 6: Strange solution, keep an open mind, quiet heart.

Wow. Rushes off in every direction to seek stillness...

122 Years

I Ching ~ Hexagram 53 Chien Gradual Progress

Line 1: Self development is often tinged with anxiety and doubt.
Line 2: Fast development can spawn carelessness and selfishness.
Line 3: Avoid rash action, work toward centering and balance.
Line 4: Yield to circumstances outside our control.
Line 5: Endure misunderstandings, stay to the path.
Line 6: Hold to the truth and gain the world.

Jeane Louise Calment 1885-1997. From France, she has the oldest documented lifespan. I said a few days ago I was old. I'm not, I just felt old and tired and disgusted. If I knew I was going to live to 122, what would I be doing different starting today, because none can change the past?
I'd certainly be far too young to be retired. I'd certainly have time to go to college and build a new career path. We could fully invest in a home for our later years, knowing we'd be living in it, rather than 'we might be dead next week, so planning is a maybe thing'. Fun thinks for today.

Complicated Cautions

I Ching ~ Hexagram 9 Hsiao Ch'u Taming Power of the Small

Line 1: Forced change can create despair via impatience.
Line 2: Remain calm and renew devotion to finding truth.
Line 3: Rushing things invites misfortune.
Line 4: Remain detached from the outcome.
Line 5: Abide by healthy principles.
Line 6: Move forward with caution, in rushing lies danger.

The I Ching as a guide emerged about 3000 years ago. And every time I read it, it is as fresh as today, holding both terror and comfort. I'm working on meeting another machine quilter on Sunday after my CT Scan. Both appointments complicated by today's cautions...

My niece is coming up for the things we've been keeping for her. I've been looking forward to it for weeks...dinner and a good visit. Until I realized yesterday I can't eat with a mask on and she works with the public and ... So we'll set everything under the portico and visit at a distance. No Hugs. Sob. But we'll live. Literally.

Restraint and Equanimity

I Ching ~ Hexagram 44 Kou/Coming To Meet

Line 1: Rein in the negative before it builds momentum.
Line 2: Decline to express the dark impulses.
Line 3: Acknowledge the urge, but don't argue with it.
Line 4: There is no merit in judging/correcting/condemning others.
Line 5: Lead by example rather than beration.
Line 6: Tolerate unpleasantness with restraint and equanimity.

I'm trying, I really am. My head wants to explode. I want to take gun and harm politicians. I want to feed that urge; I'm old, I've had a good life, dying in a hail of bullets is nothing compared to the slow suffocating death of Covid-19, that final gift from a government that couldn't care less. Restraint and equanimity. I'm trying, I really am. And I will vote, oh yes, I will vote. 

Process Of Acceptance

I Ching ~ Hexagram 7 Shih Discipline

Line 1: Be sure the cause is just
Line 2: Remind yourself of the wisdom of this path
Line 3: Discipline the ego
Line 4: Disengage from inferior paths
Line 5: Evil comes back into the open
Line 6: There is victory in modesty and humbleness

I lost something. I've been turning over the house for two weeks hunting. I had it in my hands just before the hunt began. It's loss affected me in a number of ways, but mostly in the end, sheer stubbornness was prevailing. Yesterday I picked a substitute, Got over the loss, and myself. Peace immediately prevailed. How easy was that? But without the process of acceptance I'd have never been satisfied. 

Never Happen To Them

Tarot of the Sephiroth ~ Ace of Coins/Disks

The root of resources, physical and material.
We pull ourselves together, we gather our bits.

After an hour, this is all I have. I'm having trouble concentrating, finishing anything. Yesterday I resorted to 'sewing strings', something I did when mother was here and unbridled dementia behavior drove our days: there was no down time, no thinking time, no peace. This is the opposite, only in the end, the same. Interesting times. Unborn as yet grandchildren will be sick of hearing about it, think it will never happen to them. Just like us. 

Mercurial Magic

Tarot of the Sephiroth ~ Ace of Cups

Water and emotions. Fluid, moving, changeable.
Wrote Benadryl on the list. Showed him the box. Look for the PINK. It's cheap, generic is fine. He brought home two somethings, super expensive. I turned my sharp words into a cough, a new tool learned in lock down. It can be returned. But I miss going out and getting my own damn stuff, the apples I prefer, the 0% milk, the best flavors of Dannon yogurt.

If the mask was on the other foot, and it were me braving the world to protect him, what would I get wrong? Meat for sure, not much I eat and haven't a clue what brands he likes and shops for, he does the cooking. He likes his hair military short on the sides, I'm putting off giving him his monthly cut, I like it longer, reminds me of when we were young and couldn't afford haircuts. Is that passive agressive?

It is all about feelings and their mercurial magic...get along to go along, love each other because of our screw ups rather than in spite of? If each day were identical, if there was no power to surprise how much fun would that be? Zero. 

Won't, Can't, Shant

Tarot of the Sephiroth ~ 5 of Wands

Misuse, misdirection, self imposed restriction of energy. The won'ts, can'ts, and shan'ts.

Ah, the stories we tell ourselves, the choosing to believe what we wish to believe, avoiding anything that might say otherwise, wallowing, yes, been there done that.

Walking away from those coils that comfort and restrict can be painful, because it requires change. And admitting we were wrong. But so worth it, to think for ourselves. The truth is there, can we live with it and grow it? It is the only way out....

Dark Side, Bright Side

Tarot of the Sephiroth ~ Prince of Swords

The rude awakening, the fresh wind. He makes us consider our complacency and analyze our motives.
Personally, we are analyzing, contracting, expanding. Moving with the times, rather than being crushed by them.

On the dark side I'm fully expecting businesses of every size to push for a rollback of the minimum wage. This government will agree with glee. It's always those at the bottom of the rungs that get it in the neck.

On the bright side burning fossil fuels has run the economy for 120 years. Second to computing which runs the economy now. Maybe less is more will tame the first, and the need for in-home service for the second will finally get better connectivity for those of us so poorly served that schooling and working from home is impossible. 

Grinding Mental Teeth

Tarot of the Sephiroth ~ Judgment

Productive restructuring. Knowing when it's time to make changes or reaping the consequences of not changing.

When I come to the end of the road will I say I had many lessons and learned from them all? Many lessons ignored and doomed to re-experience? I'd like to think the former, but I relearned a basic lesson again yesterday. Didn't read the fine print. Just because I can't anymore, doesn't mean I shouldn't have asked them to enlarge it for me before I signed and paid.

Not a very expensive lesson as lessons go, but I'm grinding my mental teeth. I guess life=lessons=still breathing. I can live with that.

Fake Hope

Tarot of the Sephiroth ~ Sun

Translating radiant ideas into practical endeavors. In a perfect world Boris Johnson's idea that out of work Londoners bring in the country crops that don't have the normal migrant workers is brilliant. Never happen. It's hard dirty work and living conditions are brutal. A few might go, on a lark, but they won't stay. No Netflix. No Prime deliveries. The pay is nearly worse than no pay. The Land Girls who did it during WW2 were being bombed out of their homes. They had family fighting and dying in a war. And it was only a romantic idea in long hindsight.

I do think there will be brilliant ideas and practical solutions surfacing in a future where 25% of the workforce is unemployed. But they will be small and localized. Bright ideas from leadership will not be forthcoming. We need to get over that idea, it's fake hope.

Uncharted

Tarot of the Sephiroth ~ Wheel of Fortune

To where are these feet going? By government standards a small business means less than 500 employees. By my standards, less than 50. Which pretty much covers all the little local family owned businesses I try to support.
Longview Sewing family owned and operated
Farm Dog Bakery Best dog bones on the planet, 100% non-profit providing employment for those with developmental disabilities.
Diamond Showcase Love that estate jewelry corner case! 
Bruno's Pizza Second generation owned and operated
Wood's Logging for sharpening saw chains and lawn mower blades
Sister's Quilt Shop Touch the fabric!
Playa Azul for when you need that full Mexican food repast

Two hair salons and a manicure salon here are now empty. The newly launched catering business is kaput. As are both dog grooming businesses. Can't pay the rent. Florist is closed for good. Kalama is chock full of antique malls, now being packed up, can't pay the rent. My sister in law and niece own a child care business. They are starving. My nephews and brother in law work for a small cabinet maker, no building going on. Falling behind on all payments.
The big businesses, Michael's, Bed Bath Beyond, Ross, employ local people, all the doors are shut. Wherever those feet are going, it will be somewhere now uncharted. 

Root And Coda

Malpertuis Lenormand ~ 35 Anchor

Anchored, stable, grounded

Certainly a positive card, all things common to my nature. There have been times when I've mentally drifted, waiting for something to snag my attention and lead to a different course. But the basics have been there, Rob, home, work.

The idea of being cast up on a strange shore, with absolutely nothing as a central anchor is terrifying. War, persecution of ideas or faiths, abuse. It doesn't seem so far fetched today. Law and leadership are just words when they aren't held to. When self-serving agenda is the root and coda of all action.

Anchor, we miss you, please come home. 

Stubborn. Resentful. Zestful.

Malpertuis Lenormand ~ 25 Ring

Commitment, completion, cycles, circle back.
Paths we've all taken.

We wake up, get up, go back to sleep. In between my day diverges in hundreds of ways from yours, but every single one of us make a circle of choices. Every time we move...reach for the remote or get up and get going. Reach for the candy or a carrot. Call someone, or not. Finish a project or start a new one. Cook lasagna or a roast. Every day can't be a big adventure, but it can be a day of our choosing.

We create our cycle, stubbornly, resentfully. zestfully. Our circle and consequences is of our choosing, one action at a time.

Three Little Things

Malpertuis Lenormand ~ 16 Star

Direction, guide, healing, higher purpose

I've written about my years of keeping a Gratitude Journal before, a total attitude and life changer, and since, as I go through my days I mentally note the mostly tiny and unremarkable, that continue to make my life worth getting up for.

Vision issues have caused me to give up hand written journals entirely, but a few weeks ago, on a whim, I downloaded this simple app to my iPad. In these times of overwhelmingly large concerns, I'm finding small comforts in again writing down, and being grateful, for the small things. 

Gleamers and Gloomers

Malpertuis Lenormand ~ 36 Cross

Burden, pessimism, ritual.

I was up by 3 AM, again, because I was coughing and coughing. The new potential miracle, an inhaler, is a total fail so I reckon it isn't asthma either. I was so hopeful.

No pessimism here though, we'll figure it out. And what a glorious bling card for the day. I've got a rhinestone brooch that measures 4.5" across. I think I'll wear it today, love my gleamers, they can always outshine the worst gloomers. 

Where's The Dog?

Malpertuis Lenormand ~ 18 Dog

My goal this weekend is to do a Grand Tableau Lenormand layout reading. Gives me a ice cream brain freeze to even consider it. All the more reason to make myself do it.

The dog is a friend, someone loyal, dependable. In a GT Lenormand reading the key is how far is it from the significator? Long way? Potential for disappointment or even back stabbing if paired near the Fox or Rod. I think...

I'm actually leaving the house this week, to meet with a long-arm quilter. That's a person with a giant machine and magic fingers and beautiful thread who will quilt the three layers together. I have lots of quilt tops that need to be quilted. Will we become friendly partners? Will this test run be a disaster? Thinking positive for the first, will survive if it's the second.

Repository Of Words

Malpertuis Lenormand ~  26 Book

Study, knowledge, secrets, wait and see.

Based on volume of words I've written fourteen or fifteen books here. Important only to me. In this shelter-in-place time Know Thyself and know thy neighbor has increased transparency. How we cope and how we don't. How we rise to the occasion, or fail miserably.

There is still much to uncover and claim or disdain when my card of the day turns over. I can only hope Blogger is still here each morning, to be my repository of words.  

Accept and Polish, Grind and Reshape

Malpertuis Lenormand ~ 32 Moon

A nebulous Moon, half-formed needs, desires, promises.

Not many of us spring from the womb with goals and vigor, takes a few years to get past the crybaby food, shelter, dry stage. I know people older than me who are still at the crybaby stage. People in their teens who have sharp goals and are working a plan.

Somewhere in the middle we bump up against the mid-life crisis, is this all there is? Is the hokey-pokey really what it's all about? At that point we go inward rather than out which can turn into mouldery navel gazing or truly coming out from behind the clouds to shine. To accept and polish, or grind and reshape. Both good, both swayed by the Moon. 

Make A Wish

Golden Lenormand ~ Key

Make a wish, the miracle cure, the solution.

The newest effort to identify what's wrong with my wheezy, breathless, tight, hacky lungs with distance diagnosing. An inhaler. Maybe it will be in today's Saturday run to the post office box. This has been going on for four years, As Joan Hackett says in Support Your Local Sheriff..."I'm sick and tired of it and someone better do something about it".

Making a wish for a miracle cure, could it be that simple? 

Beltane 2020

Beltane 2020 with Charles van Sandwyk

What I thought I'd be doing

What I am doing

Some normal

Some Surprising. Know Thyself can be a revelation.

Notice Stay Safe has replaced Have A Nice Day?

I think I prefer it. Stay Safe. Love, Sharyn