Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Two Finger Eye Pointing

Wild Moon Lunar Phase Deck ~ Waxing Quarter

Selective actions. Who hasn't suggested someone close to them has selective hearing or selective vision? Usually a ratchet above normal volume while pointing both fingers at our eyes...see me, hear me.

We do it to ourselves too, that item I finally saw last week I've been moving around for four or five years to get to something else, not admitting I'll probably never use it again, not admitting the truth of my bent vision, purely selectively protecting myself. I've given up all my books, so I'll keep this I shout. Why. Now that I've seen it, heard myself say I'm not doing that again, it sits there calling to me, I can't not see it.

Today I'll gird my loins and bring it down for this fall's eBay Box. Or maybe even pull together a package lot and  put it on Craigslist.
Now that I've seen it, I can't not see it. Now that I've had time to wrap my mind around the loss I can move on. Life. Listen to it.

Monday, June 29, 2020

Whacked And Rooted

Wild Moon Lunar Phase Deck ~ Waxing Quarter

Clarity with caution. This is a time for root work and foundations, identifying what weakens, culling what doesn't carry its own weight.

Expensive vices, people who drag us down rather than lift us up, things inherited or gifted that don't bring any pleasure at all. Rituals that don't serve the purpose they once did, habits that shrink our life rather than enrich it.

Only by lifting my mind and heart can I move past what is holding me back. Clarity...I think I'm facing things straight on, and then get whacked by truth. This week has been no different, what is different is doing something about it. Waxing Quarter. 

Sunday, June 28, 2020


Wild Moon Lunar Phase Deck ~ First Quarter Moon

If you see the moon tonight, also called the Half Moon, will it be light on the left or the right? It depends on where you live on Earth, but it reminds me of how divided my country is, we can't even agree if anyone is sick or not, if those deaths are a hoax, if 600,000 people dying each year from cancer is more important, the 36,000 traffic deaths on our highways, the 90 US military deaths in 2020.

Is our glass half full or half empty. We will never even agree on that. 

Saturday, June 27, 2020

Ambitious Foundations

Wild Moon Lunar Phase Deck ~ Waxing Crescent

Ambition, building a sturdy foundation. My foundational progress has been slow, maybe because I don't have a competitive bone in my body. My building is only measured against myself, where was I this time last year or five years ago.

Trying to match or exceed what someone else is or has or does is just crazy making for me. I also refuse to push a pebble up a mountain with my nose, there are better tools and better things to push.

Thinking back to my early ambitions, marry a hardworking straight arrow man and get out of Dodge went well. The rest of my life has been based on that early foundation. Neither idea required rebuilding. I've certainly built on rooms that didn't pass code and had to be tore down. Interesting subject to have thinks about in the course of my day.

Friday, June 26, 2020

Observe Or Live

Wild Moon Lunar Phase Deck ~ Waxing Crescent

Determination quivering for action. If we are poised waiting for the starters gun our sum result will be leg cramps. There is no gun, no crowd cheering at the end, just us. And our life. Tearing by a day at a time.

We can do this...live it, rather than observe it. 

Thursday, June 25, 2020

They Sludge

Wild Moon Lunar Phase Deck ~ Waxing Crescent

Empowered Awareness. A state of contraction and expansion. This card suggests I burn sage to clear and purify mind and environment.

I had a Medicine Woman come and burn sage here twice thirty years ago in what was then the money pit, purchased from devil spawn. I don't know if it helped, but it was an action taken which is key to any change we seek, contract the bad and expand toward better. A mental and physical action to get beyond what have they done to us, to what can I do next to make this better.

Being in the crescent can be a bit like walking in sludge, slow going and very little momentum. But if we look back and can see steps, we can believe we can make the change; they is just a place to lay blame which reinforces the sludge. 

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Mad Monkey Frolic

Wild Moon Lunar Phase Deck ~ Crescent Moon

Empowered Intent. Harnessed Energy. I love it when I'm in this phase, I can get so much progress toward a goal.
In November-January I do Bonnie Hunter's Mystery Quilt. This year's top has been basically finished for months, but I've been stymied on what to do with the reverse side. I had a lot of leftovers because I didn't actually make the quilt according to pattern. So two more quilts have passed through my machine while I've mulled ideas.

Last Tuesday I saw a picture of something I've never tried yet, making a quilt in strips across rather than blocks. And since then I've been Crescent Mooning :), learned a new process, and have that side within a few hours of being finished. Sometimes a trigger is needed, but once you have it there is no stopping the freight train! I love that! Three more 'I pushed myself' about this quilt, I normally never use white or black in a quilt, and the size. My mind is thinking chemotherapy quilt for my new lung cancer, for no reason at all except they pushed up my mammogram just in case and that always makes my mind go into mad monkey mode. Another phase that will no doubt pass over me, like the moon.

Tuesday, June 23, 2020


Wild Moon Lunar Phase Deck ~ Dark Moon

Sacred Possibilities. I Invoked for the first time this month, certainly an experience to be remembered. There was the spinach incident thing. The clothespin conundrum which led me to letting go of the keeping for keepings sake and a new discovery and solution. That solution led me to think again about moving my grandmother from her alone cemetery to the family plot.

I'd get the paperwork started in a flash, but alas, it's about ten thousand dollars. I own the family plot, I can explore the possibility of adding two small plinth stones for my grandparents. Because if I moved grandma, then what about grandpa, alone in Illinois? It's the meaning that counts isn't it, because the plot is for me, the living, the dead don't know or care.

Possibilities...explore them all, who know what will come to mind.

Monday, June 22, 2020

Sacred Stillness

Wild Moon Lunar Phase Deck ~ Dark Moon

Sacred Stillness. What makes something sacred? I think it is action/use. Items become sacred to us by repeated use, repeatedly seeing them in place. Plate and chalice. Mother's pink jello bowl, tree ornaments, flags.

But sacred stillness. Prior to my breast cancer in 2011 I'd spent a year in an absolute black rage. I made myself let it loose but the damage was done, and one thing leading to another put me in a mentally dark place. One of the things I did to bring myself back was sell the riding lawnmower and get a walk behind. To make myself physically stronger was my thinking at the time, but mowing the lawn has morphed into Sacred Time. Think time. Affirmation time. Sweat it all out time. Followed by Stillness. It works for me.

Edited to add later: Are my grandmother Pearl's prong clothespins sacred? She died in 1971 and is one of the three people dearest to me in this life. I've always hung out linens to dry in the fresh air and I've always sort of "I love you grama but I sure do not like these pins". I've decided this morning they are not sacred but 'just because I always have doesn't mean I always have to' thing. I'm going to hunt for some colorful ones...that actually hold the sheets up.

Sunday, June 21, 2020

Maximilian Aspirations

Wild Moon Lunar Phase Deck ~ New Moon

The summer solstice has arrived, and there is also a new moon solar eclipse at 11:40 PM here. New Moons are ripe for setting intentions for the coming lunar cycle. A solar eclipse obscures our forward vision, suggesting we are seeing what we want to see, depending on wishes rather than works. Something to be avoided at all costs.

At the top of this month's intent list is holding my personal health icon, the sunflower in mind and heart.

In this case the Maximilian, an heirloom perennial growing six to ten feet in height. A simple start...I can do this.

Friday, June 19, 2020

The Un Civil War

Brady Tarot ~ 7 of Swords/Arrows

My country is being fractured by an un-Civil War. Right Left, Republican Democrat, mask no mask, true or fake, real or hoax, open or closed, black or white. Being manipulated by an insidious form of Guile, allowing ourselves to be torn asunder by "I know better than you", a treacle so insidious it will never wash out.

Our weapons remain sheathed, broken, ill used, lost. I've often said "when the world goes dark", I never dreamed it would be our minds that would be lost, I was thinking of the technology glued to our fingers, EMPs, sunspots, nuclear war. Silly me.

Thursday, June 18, 2020

Getting Justice

Brady Tarot ~ Justice

Brady chose Turkey Vulture, egg and skull, repeating past experience versus creating fresh ones. Turkey Vultures are carrion birds, feeding on dead flesh, even plague ridden yet what they excrete is sterile and could be used for hand sanitizer.

We have choices each day, to do proper justice to our one life. We can do this, one step, one day at a time. We deserve better, but better comes from within, not from someone or somewhere else. 

Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Too Little Too Late

Brady Tarot ~ Fool

"Brood parasites are organisms that rely on others to raise their young. The strategy appears among birds, insects and fish." (Wiki)
And humans. "On any given day in the United States, there are approximately 440,000 children living in foster care. These children range in age from 0 to 21." (Voices For Children)

Rob's mother had a child at 12 and 15, and gave herself two coat hanger abortions in her 30's. I understand and respect a parent's viewpoint on sex education as teaching kids too much too soon. But obviously they are dropping the ball at home, too little too late. Or in my case never a word at all. Fools in trees with if I don't see it, it won't happen blinders on. 

Tuesday, June 16, 2020

Pointless Pinnaclelessness

Brady Tarot ~ Emperor

If this is meant to show someone at the pinnacle of power I'm being misled. I might see Big Horn sheep on a peak this high, but not an elk. The skulls of past pinnacle climbers might have been a reminder or warning it was out of it's league, but no, there it is. It can see the whole world from here for all the good it will do it.

When I find myself hoist on my own petard, when I get finished shouting at myself "what are you, eight years old?" my inner mini-emperor kicks in and I redress the situation. Bin it and start fresh, or disassemble the errors and rebuild. It isn't rocket science, it is just daily life as an adult. Standing there saying it isn't so is pointless pinnaclelessness. 

Monday, June 15, 2020

Leaving The Planet

Brady Tarot ~ Page of Swords/Daughter of Arrows

Gaining a wider perspective by putting distance between self and discord or chaos.

I don't know how more distant I could put myself without leaving the planet, but alas, we carry our self and our discords with us. In this strange new year I've heard clueless youth say let Covid cull the old and sick people, who needs them? This week I saw someone on the news say let Covid cull the blacks, who needs them? This morning I actually laughed, thinking of an upcoming 19,000 person rally, cull those idiots good.

For all my effort, I have not evolved at all. I am no better than the worst I see. The perpetual Page. 

Sunday, June 14, 2020

Do Something Different

Brady Tarot ~ Son of Arrows/Knight of Swords

Willingness to tinker, try, fail. What was once an idea has been followed, tracked, experimented with. Perhaps to be discarded, maybe to be enlarged upon.

We don't live long enough to master everything in life, but we sure can try new ideas on for size. I ate fresh spinach for the first time this month. Rob likes canned spinach, that whole concept gags me, the look, the smell...he grew some for his chickens so we had a fresh pot, steamed. in sliced leaf format, with some I Can't Believe It's Butter sprayed on, it was edible. Not pink swiss chard which I love, but I'll have another steamed pot this afternoon.  Son of Arrows, I can do this. Do something. 

Saturday, June 13, 2020

Ivy And Foxglove, What A Team

Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Integrity

Ivy. hedra helix. Traditional herbalists have used ivy for a wide number of complaints, including bronchitis , whooping cough, arthritis, rheumatism, and dysentery. Decoctions of the herb were applied externally against lice, scabies, and sunburn. So I checked Dr. Google to see if it is still in use. Still harvested in eastern Europe, and used as an anti-inflammatory and cough syrup.

On our journey up north this week we saw purple and white foxglove in bloom everywhere which made me wonder if digitalis is still harvested or all factory made. According to Dr. Google "Chemicals taken from foxglove are used to make a prescription drug called digoxin. Digitalis lanata is the major source of digoxin in the US". All parts are poison to eat. I wonder where they are growing it as a crop?

I'm reading a book set in 1590, and both learning and herbs are dear if you aren't rich, and as a woman both can get you put to death as a witch. What does any of this have to do with integrity? Nature always retains hers, humans? Not so much. 

Friday, June 12, 2020

The Gritty And The Ugly

Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Luck

I've known since grade school I'm lucky. Because once you enter school you come in contact with those who aren't and learn to know the difference. No parents, one parent, bad parent, good parent. No money, no money sense. Color. Weight. Religion. Abilities or disabilities. Toys or no toys. Outfits or outfit. Assimilate or stand off. Always in the right place, usually in the wrong place. Good smell, bad smell. Willingness to fight or no fight at all. And hundreds more, anything different that sets off triggers, instinctual or learned.

But beyond the schoolyard choice has to kick in. To not repeat mistakes. To seek the self affirmative road rather than the easy one or the sheeple one, swallowing it all hook line and sinker. To sit here and call myself lucky is a misnomer, a quirk of birth. The rest is on me, both the gritty and the ugly. Choice. 

Thursday, June 11, 2020

Pomegranate Fairy

Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Prosperity

The pomegranate, often presented in art and story as representative of luxury, wealth, success, growth. And myths and speculation and theory about health benefits. The best one I found was each pomegranate holds 613 seeds, the number of commandants of the Torah. AquaPhoenix Education of Hanover, Pennsylvania counted them...six countries, 206 fruits, number of seeds ranged from 165 to 1370. But the average number? 613. Proof or disproof?

All that said to say there are a lot of paths to prosperity; hard work coupled with determination and sacrifice, windfall, inheritance, education, real estate, stocks, grand schemes.

Or you could follow the companion book's lighthearted spell which involves a refreshing adult beverage containing pomegranate juice while shouting "Prosperity Fairy fancy free, shine your prosperous light on me". Or not. 

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Exclusive We

Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Illumination

Woke: Alert to injustice in society, especially racism. Awareness of issues concerning social justice. Actively attentive to important facts and issues. Term used often in the 1940s, renewed in the 1960s, destined to be recycled until Illumination finally presents itself.

Defined by the Unwoke: Politically correct mob now look like 'the woke Taliban'. (Sky News Australia). 6 Woke Strangers Compete To Be the Most Woke. (You Tube). It's Time To Put 'Woke' To Sleep. (NPR)

How can we be Illuminated when everything has to be us vs. them? When will We be inclusive rather than we means me? May I take a moment to say mask shaming is ridiculous?

I'm having my first cup of coffee in nine days. I'm woke up.

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Blue Woad

Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Ritual

Maiden Mother Crone. Diana Isis Kali.
Maidens aren't necessarily young, Mothers don't always have children, Crone isn't a chronological age. Titles are just words.

My appendix blew out at thirteen, nuking my reproductive organs. Can I be a Maiden if there will never be the next step? Part one precluded part two, but most humans become mothers  by nurturing or killing what needs them most. I'm going to live until I'm 122, why should I even study up on Crone, I'll be too busy living.

I particularly like the companion book's Blue Woad ritual, performed in the non-light of the Dark Moon just prior to the New Moon. I always have something to be left behind, some stage to move toward. Why limit myself to three?

Monday, June 8, 2020

Fish Who Knew Too Much

Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Intellect

In Celtic legend, the salmon ate nine hazelnuts from the sacred tree at the well of wisdom and gained absolute understand of the world's ways.

And promptly committed suicide, no doubt about it. 

Sunday, June 7, 2020

Struck Blind

Enchanted Spell Oracle ~ Beauty

Bald heads or natural hair? Bare face or makeup applied with a trowel? Flats or heels? Wife-beater or crew neck? Do we present for others or ourselves? Personally I have a reaction to all these things. Age based, experience based, media based, environment based, money based. Judge judge judge.

If we were all struck blind what would we be left to judge? What would we continue to try to do for ourselves, what would we expect from the person next to us? Clean. Polite. Helpful. Is expect the word? Is hope from better? Given a year in a blind world would we have managed to segregate again, find new ways to judge and think ourselves better than...? Find a whole new subset of things to hate, belittle, mock? Would we finally be able to find the beauty, accept what is, recognize what matters? 

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Ignite Some Passion

Grand Etteilla Tarot ~ #2 Enlightenment Passion

Another title Etteilla settled on this card is Hiram's Freemasonry. A search brings this "Hiram Abif was most probably selected by the King of Tyre to be sent to Solomon as a skillful artificer of preeminent skill that he might execute the principal works in the interior of the Temple and fabricate the various utensils intended for the sacred services.".

A person at the top of his game given a job of a lifetime, the results of which are designs still used and to be spoken of with reverence down through history. Even given twice the allotted lifetime of 122 years, most of us regardless of passion or skill or enlightenment will never get to this point. The world would be a pretty boring place if we did, what would we aspire to if everyone could do it?

I need the smarties to inspire me. To ignite some passion. To learn something new. 

Friday, June 5, 2020

Waiting For Someone

Grand Etteilla Tarot ~ #8 Tenacity Progress

Etteilla chose Eve as his ideal for this card. I've read the bible a number of times, in my memory Eve falls off the radar after the apple incident and having two sons. Did she have tenacity, did she chose to make progress on the road that history shows us is the one most humans pick? The one of choice rather than fate? I tremble to think where we'd be if no one ever picked choice.

On a side note, when I was reading the bible and other tomes of and about religions Google wasn't a gleam in anyone's eye as far as I know. So I did some digging. Moses, who lived in 13th century BCE, is credited with writing Genesis. Modern scholars now think it was written in the 5th or 6th century BCE.

Lots of centuries, lots of millenniums...and straying off the path is still the most interesting option, if we have the tenacity to make progress rather than lying in the ditch waiting for someone to carry us.  

Thursday, June 4, 2020


Grand Etteilla Tarot ~ #17 Death and Incapacity

I'm so deeply distressed about the state of my country.

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

All That Is Enigmatic

Grand Etteilla Tarot ~ #6 Truths and Secrets

"Signifies a strong tendency toward all that is enigmatic". Had to look that up, "difficult to interpret or understand". That apparently covers my chronic cough, the CT scan shows no readily apparent reason for it, but phone consults with specialist have given me a six point plan of attack.

Phone appointment with my pulmonologist reveals it did show another lung cancer waving at the camera. In this brave new world of distance treatment and a backlog of seriously important surgeries I can wait for a few months. Give them a bigger target to attack. They think it is the same rare slow growing kind I had before, it can wait too.

Secrets, can't live with them; Truths, can't live without them. 

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Just Sayin'

Grand Etteilla Tarot ~ #26 Obstacles and Lies

Down the rabbit hole of investigation again today. "Propositions with falsehoods; get yourself vaccinated immediately." Etteilla made this deck in 1783 so I wanted to know how he knew about inoculations which I thought were invented by Jenner for smallpox in 1796.

Turns out they go back to China 1000 AD, also for smallpox, followed by efforts in Turkey and Africa. So nothing new, and I'm a great believer in them. We were part of a worldwide study for a new shingles vaccine which began with nearly 30000 people and took four years to complete because 4% of the study group had to actually get shingles to see if the vaccine worked. Those 4% being in the placebo group.

So when I hear a covid vaccine will be available in a few months...I don't believe it and won't be signing up for it. It doesn't allow for organized set up, follow up, and hard fact results. By impartial non-invested medical groups. Don't believe everything you hear on the news. Just sayin'. 

Monday, June 1, 2020


Grand Etteilla Tarot ~ #68 Home/Games of Chance

"A  good time to buy a house or search home for a treasure."
Time, distance, need, age, it all makes a difference in what we see as treasure doesn't it? A lot of what I consider treasures left my home yesterday with my niece and nephew. Papers, journals, drawings, art work. From when they were 2 to 8 years old. Their grandmother's journals and writings,written in her 80's. Her photography she considered good enough to frame and hang. The last of her furniture. The big book of their grandfather's life, assembled after his death. The family genealogy records. Some of my teapots and a child's china set from the 1950's. Two quilts to wrap them with love.

Will they stay family treasures? Or just be stuff? I'll never know and it isn't any of my business how they end up. But I do feel a little emptier this morning. I think I'll go and hug a few chickens, listen to their chat, put things in perspective.