Sunday, February 28, 2021

Better Not Bitter

 Ananda Tarot ~ Knight of Cups

As Knights we begin to acknowledge there are forks in the road forward. I'm full of advice and criticism about the paths other people walk, particularly this past year, but who am I, who has often focused on paths that are destructive, hurtful, limiting, to judge?

I look back on the last thirty years as I've become more aware of alternatives and options for the high road or the low road. Or the safe road, which is seldom the most healthy direction. Looking inward has become my lifeline out of the strange year we've passed, hoping it is strong enough to carry me out the other side, better not bitter. Being a Knight of Cups is hard work. Being oblivious to my own faults will never be the answer though, only the easy one. 

My personal truth found this week? The only angels I believe in are Snow Angels. 

Saturday, February 27, 2021

Reality And Potential

 Greenwood Tarot ~ Ace of Cups

I've howled at the moon. My morning coffee will shortly be delivered by a handsome man, today is our anniversary, 51! And me just a pup still. I'll take this card and all it offers in reality and potential, and say thank you. Life is good. Knowing that is key. 

Friday, February 26, 2021

Red Alder and Vine Maple

 Greenwood Tarot ~ 4 of Wands

Ash Oak Birch Hawthorne create an enclosure within which to celebrate. Here we would create it with Douglas Fir, Western Red Cedar, Western Hemlock, Big Leaf Maple. I would incorporate Red Alder and Vine Maple. Foresters see them as junk wood, but an alder bottom or glowing vine maple undergrowth is a beautiful thing. 

Toward the bottom of this article from the on-line Salish Magazine is a mother tree, an ancient fallen long ago, perhaps in the Columbus Day storm of 1962, and an alder bottom, their trunks glowing with crustose lichens. I spent yesterday immersed in tree images and tree lore and celebrated living in the Pacific Northwest where trees are king. 4 of Wands, can't be beat. 

Thursday, February 25, 2021

They Had The Sky

 Greenwood Tarot ~ 3 of Coins/Stones

Solar Horse and Lunar Oxen. Creations of the imagination. I can recognize the Big Dipper, but see the whole Ursa Major? Can I make Aries out of 4 or sometimes 5 stars? Do I see Gemini twins in that U shaped group of stars? No, No, and No. Does that mean my imagination is dim? I don't think so. More overwhelmed with too much all the time in the modern world. 

The ancients who named them, and the ancients before them who called them something else had the night sky for their entertainment. Undulled by billions of electric lights. Life for the majority of the ancients was short and hard, but they had the night sky, I envy them that. 

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Backtracking The Hermit

 Greenwood Tarot ~ Hermit

A Hermit coming home? Have I ever seen this before? Backtracking the blog, The Shining Tribe presents a door just beyond the tree. The Drogi Hermit seems to be clutching a tree rather than a staff. As a credent in a crypt in the Cathar. He is actually in the tree in the Victorian Fairy Tarot. The Green Witch Tarot presents him apparently fleeing a house. In Sacred Sites he comes home to an abandoned Petra. Jane Austen Tarot presents the Hermit as Mr. Bennett in the library. In the Whimsical he now appears to be sneaking into a child's room. Funny how time changes our viewpoints, part of the Hermit's gathering of knowledge. In 2007 when I last used that deck that idea would  never have crossed my mind, Hermit as a pedo. 

And when I drew this hermit in 2010, I used this quote. Still applies.  "If a hermit lives in a state of ecstasy, his lack of comfort becomes the height of comfort. He must relinquish it." ~ Jean Maurice Eugène Clément Cocteau 1889–1963

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Trail Of Tears

 Greenwood Tarot ~ 10 of Wands

Potter has presented her 10 as carrying logs across ice. If we'd like to look at it as good news, there is a warming fire ahead and refuge is in view. We have options to shout good job well done and get on with life, or spend days at the fireside retelling our travails. Which are probably worth hearing, if for no other reason than a cautionary tale, story with a moral. 

Some of our worst experiences make for good storytelling, way down the road when time has left just the humorous bits, or parts that can be made funny. I've been reading the ancient tales of the Choctaw, tales of creation of the tribes, the great journey when they decided to travel east to new hunting grounds, how corn was presented to them, how man and woman came to be. A good portion of the stories as presented with humor. Not the Trail Of Tears ones, no, that bitter history is not told with smiles. Time has only enlarged the indelible stain on the government, the loss of life and land and culture. 10 of Wands indeed.

Monday, February 22, 2021

A Long Way Baby

 Greenwood Tarot ~ Ace of Coins/Stones

The beginning is where we measure from. My mother-in-law used to laugh and say "I haven't come far have I" because in her 80's she ended up about a mile from where she was born, yet her life was anything but motionless. Where we live seldom has much weight, it is what we do on the journey. 

I've set lots of personal goals, but don't know many people who set life goals. A nephew who vowed to be a millionaire by the time he was 25. He has bypassed that many times now I think. Rob wanted to be a truck driver, was, be careful what you wish for... Lots of people who went to college to be X and spent their lives doing Y and Z. 

Whatever method we use when we review needs to be flexible rather than rigid. Because we've come a long way, Baby. This 1968 ad is a good example. And cringe worthy. And probably current too. 

Sunday, February 21, 2021

Instrument Of Renewal

  Greenwood Tarot ~ 9 of Swords/Arrows

Generating healing energy. I couldn't see how this reflected me, laid the card aside, and wrote a long letter to my cousin. Then I realized, because we didn't get any family support when I had my cancers, that this could be considered a form of healing energy. To her, sharing a bit of what is coming and how I dealt with it, and to me, expressing it. Beautiful card. She uses the bow as a musical instrument, turning an instrument of death into an instrument of spirit renewal. 

Saturday, February 20, 2021

Woodpeckering Page

 Greenwood Tarot ~ Page of Swords/Arrows

Woodpeckers are methodical in their day to day drilling work, so they don't miss anything worth knowing/finding. Then in many instances they come back filling the holes with provender for elevenses and laters. In the spring they drill madly and as loudly as they can to show their skills to a potential mate. Or later they come back to a choice selection and drill out a home nest. 

I've seen all three practices here, two small trees in the front are covered in small holes. Our metal roof attracts the spring hammerers. The 100 foot utility beeper pole that used to stand in a field near us, when taken down had six holes one to two feet long in it. 

The point being, as a Page they enjoy different tasks, motivations, notions. Not so much for the upper courts, once their titles are clamped on, they are defined by their status. Sad that, to me anyway, who has always taken the meandering woodpeckering Page path. 

Friday, February 19, 2021

Human Uberite

 Greenwood Tarot ~ 7 of Swords/Arrows

Potter sees this card as insecure, unprotected, anxious. Yes, I'm that. I'm also belligerent, defensive, pushy, obstinate. Human. Sometimes I don't give myself enough credit for that, just being human, I treat it like a stain. It is a tough job, but we keep on doing it, driven by our mad monkey mind and emotions. 

I've been working with images this week of ancient creatures bones and fossils. It makes me melancholy. Sometimes we are the rider, sometimes we are the one underfoot. Maybe the key to this card is whether we ride on, or if we stop to give the struggling a lift? Are we living a hit and run life? Or balancing with a bit of human Uber? 

Thursday, February 18, 2021

Dedicated

 Greenwood Tarot ~ Queen of Wands

Dedicated to my cousin who had cancer surgery yesterday. 

She and her husband are resolute walkers, high walks, long walks, while I go along in my chair via her blog. She the Queen, me... distant Page, connected by blood, experience, and memory. 

Wednesday, February 17, 2021

No One's Ancestor

 Greenwood Tarot ~ Hierophant/Ancestor

Profound insight, guidance, on the right path. My interest in genealogy didn't take long to waver and then fade away. Couldn't see the point in the end. Do I think I have french, german, and choctaw blood running in my veins? Eeh.. not really. Blood doesn't have a nationality; perhaps the mind does, if it only cares to look backward. 

If I were to be defined by ancestry though, it would be choctaw, indigenous, earth based, not defined by possessions or racial prestige. Or is that the sin of pride speaking? Some sort of reverse elitism? 

The path this Ancestor is drumming...it isn't my path, mostly because time apparently teaches nothing. Going forward I can seek my own insight, my own path. I'm to be no one's ancestor after all. I may though, get my native bodhran down and go down into the forest and drum, work on my insight...

Tuesday, February 16, 2021

Won The Lottery

 Greenwood Tarot ~ Pole Star

Formed from stardust, we return to stardust, in this deck anyway. If I think about that one in millions chance for a unique me, meeting and attaching to the one egg...it is a bit boggling. Our first lottery, and I won. How could I grouse about anything ever, after that win?

Every time I see this card today, I'll appreciate that pure chance conception, and be a Star. Dressed to the shoes, wearing lipstick and earrings... I'm alive and I will not take that for granted.  

Monday, February 15, 2021

Accepting

 Greenwood Tarot ~ 9 of Cups

Open to abundance and in turn generosity. I know I've said it before, but it's funny how we can so freely give, and have so much trouble accepting. Is it human nature or something our mothers instilled in us?



Sunday, February 14, 2021

Thankful Heart

 Greenwood Tarot ~ 6 of Wands

Time of harvest and giving thanks. It is actually Valentine Day for which I also give thanks. That our Rob is home and happily doing the snow shoveling. That today is monthly pizza day. That we've had our little Easter Egger hens for a year today and such good little hens they are. That the new brand of cardamom tea is fine, because I ordered a pound box. 

The pile of gifted magazines from which to pull collage art. That all our animals are in good health, as are we...ish. That our cupboards and firewood are well stocked. That we've managed to elude Covid so far. Grateful for the brains that invented all the computer stuff we take so for granted these days. I have a new set of 32 classes to look forward to, something that never crossed my mind a year ago. 

That I've managed to let some things go, both material and human and it didn't kill me, opened my mind to new directions actually. For everyone who has been so patient with me as I deal with physical and mental limitations, for technology and medicine that offer hope. Life is good. 

Saturday, February 13, 2021

Sub-word, Adventure

 Minchiate Etruria Deck ~ XXII Earth

Analyze, reaffirm or discard. Our tendency to carry unnecessary cargo which has long lost relevance to our lives drags and binds us. False comfort in the familiar? 

My word of the year is double sided for the first time. Yesterday I turned the Big word over and exposed the sub-word. Adventure. And I spent the morning having one. At my desk, by myself, the result exciting. It was good, that idea I kicked over in October and have worked since to bring to fruition. And inviting the little terrier Fiona into our lives, that was good. She looks at me sometimes with her wise hazel eyes and I ask, are you thinking of your family you lost to Covid? She doesn't say. But she must. 

I know it is up to me to find and make relevance in my life. And change, uncomfortable or not is part of that journey, part of life on this Earth.

Friday, February 12, 2021

One Giant Cowpie

 Minchiate Etruria Deck ~ Star

Upright: Optimism ~ loving the world, nature, art, life.

Reversed: Pessimism, lacking the drive to realisation of best intent.

I've been working my way thought a kneehigh stack of National Geographics from 2007-2010. Amazing photography of places and things I'd never see otherwise. Incredible spotlight on man's cruelty to man and animal alike. Probably the string that is dragging my Star under the mud. I'm reading an odd book by Tom Holt, Olympiad. 2700 years ago, Greece, where all the characters think with their heart. Would that we did. 

But for today, I'll look to the Star. Try to find some good heart in the world. Enjoy some art, go for a walk in the snow. Try to like my new real Kindle. It's just life, we all have one; for one day, I'll try not to see it as one giant cowpie. 

Thursday, February 11, 2021

Won't Drift

 Minchiate Etruria Deck ~ 6 of Swords

Yesterday urgency, today, drift. I have a art project today, defining right side/left side brain function. Should be pretty simple, but after deciding how I wanted to do it in the long dark hours of the night, I got up, googled, found the results I thought I would...except. New studies from 2018 on show it is mostly myth. The two sides have functions, but they work in unison. 

Time to use artistic license. My right side brain mental license is quite full of expansive overdone script and multiple curlicues abound. My left side brain mental license is bordered with black greek keys, and has pretty big print. Co-existing is good, don't care much for drifting. 

Wednesday, February 10, 2021

Overwhelming Urgency

 Minchiate Etruria Deck ~ 8 of Wands

I've been awake since 3 AM, maybe before. Lying very still, eyes tight shut. No dice. I'm going out today. Early, hurrying all the while. I even dreamed it was dangerous, probably why I couldn't go back to sleep. 

Ridiculous, but I feel such an overwhelming sense of urgency. And underlying anger, always the anger. 

Tuesday, February 9, 2021

Thank You, I'm Alive

 Minchiate Etruria Deck ~ Tower

Negative experiences, and the ability to deal with them. I guess praying for help or deliverance is one way of reacting to those times. Standing up, putting those hands to work is a faster surer way to solutions. 

Help might come, but we lose the ability to choose. Formaldehyde off-gassing FEMA trailers come to mind. Refugee camps. Rich men's wars and bread lines better describe the help that might come. 

Tower moments are big things, often quick. The long term emotional aftermath is where the real Tower damage can lie. A short prayer of thanks can be a good thing, thanks I lived. Long prayers of please make it go away, please make things the way they used to be, please please please. I learned. That silence is what made me realize the answer to please is to get up and do it myself. Thank you, I'm alive. 

Monday, February 8, 2021

Change My Toothpaste

 Minchiate Etruria Deck ~ Ace of Wands

A leap up and get-er-started card. I think I figured out this morning what the heck is wrong with me. I didn't want to brush my teeth before bed last night. I didn't want to brush my teeth this morning. And I realized, it wasn't the teeth brushing, I love clean teeth, it is the routine, enforced by Covid, acquiesced to by me. 

Reading back over my posts this month it's all there. The I Want Out, I want fresh air, I want a change of view. What I'm going to do is change my toothpaste brand. Continue setting up my new workspace for my renewed interest. Ordered the elastic to make a new kind of mask with fresh bright colors, Kaffe Fassett in fact. 

Looking back I've made a lot of changes in our tiny little world the last six months. When I feel the funk, I'll make some more, recognizing them for what they are, fighting back, keeping my life relevant. I can do this. 

edited to add: "Fear has never been the best of who we are" Bruce Springsteen January 7, 2021

Sunday, February 7, 2021

Unmotivated

 Minchiate Etruria Deck ~ 2 of Swords

Is indecision another word for unmotivated? Maybe. Whatever it is, I've got that why bother flu. Am I really in a nice mental retreat from which I'll spring forth renewed and refreshed; or resolved to go back to bed and not get up?

Whatever it is, it isn't me. Yet obviously it is. But it isn't really. Is. Isn't. Is. 

Isn't

Saturday, February 6, 2021

Beyond The Ordianry

 LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Chariot

 Transport for Enoch's bodily ascent into heaven where he became the highest angel Metatron, the celestial scribe. I must have seen this image in a movie, for some reason Darby O'Gill and perhaps Imhotep's Barque of Re come to mind...

Wheels connected to earth, with the opportunity to rise above, reach beyond the ordinary and expand our horizons, take hold of possibilities beyond our daily plodded rutted path. 

Imagine our potential if we looked up instead of down, forward rather than back. 

Friday, February 5, 2021

Squandered Potential

 LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Limiter

Tool. Potential. Inert until picked up and put to use. We blame tools for lots of things; the car came out of nowhere and t-boned me. The kitchen knife fell out of my hand and pierced my foot. The hammer smashed my thumb. The widget hasn't worked right since we got it. 

Or alternatively, I built that fill in the blank all by myself. Disregarding the tape measure, hammer, sewing machine, skillsaw, pencils and pens and paper, coffee filters, scanner and computer...well there we go. When things go well it is all us, when they don't it is all tools. 

I've been in a funk. Pretty inert. Mostly useless. And time is still rushing by. Extravagant misuse of the number one tool we have, the one we can't hold or swing or smash. Just squander. 

Thursday, February 4, 2021

Idiot

 LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Idiot

I've spent the morning trying to make something work, which is never going to work, when all I had to do was approach it from a different direction. 

I also drew this card at 5 AM, was insulted, and laid it aside. :) What an idiot I am. 

Wednesday, February 3, 2021

Slim

 LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Home and Hearth

Have we had enough of home and hearth yet? Getting to be home and having to be home aren't really the same thing are they? It has altered my thinking patterns too, I watch a movie with a bar full of hundreds of people, or a street scene with shoulder to shoulder people and I wonder what they are doing, out. Don't they have any interests of their own, on their own? In their homes? 

I read an ad yesterday for a well known brand of travel trailer, which now has a built in office area. Travel for work and still be home working. Or WFH as it is now shorthanded. 

I talked to the nurse, clerk, and doctor yesterday about how long they were out of work in the beginning (months) and what it felt like, working with the public now (scary). What their expectations for actually getting inoculated for Covid (slim for now), just like us. I'm glad/lucky I love my home and have interests. 

Tuesday, February 2, 2021

Doomy

 LXXXI Quareia Deck ~ Premonition

Bean-sídhe. A warning of impending doom. Eek, I hope not. At 9 AM I have an appointment with a doctor of ophthalmology, something to do with pipes and needing some laser work to prevent a pending painful collapse. If I understood the first eye doctor correctly which I probably didn't. 

Can't really say I've ever had any premonitions, my common sense probably keeps most easily achieved dooms away. I'm cynical, and pretty sure the world is creating its own doomscape, but personally? I'm not very doomy. 

Monday, February 1, 2021

Promise

 Green Wheel Oracle ~ Imbolc

Brigid's day. Beginning of spring. Or the beginning of the beginning of spring, not much happening here but the promise is good. 

Sometimes that has to be enough. I'll take it.