Wednesday, March 31, 2021

No Giving Up

Dinosaures de Marseille ~ 7 of Coins/Ammonites

Reluctant to emerge, slow to flourish, very productive once they got going. Ammonites were creatures of the seas for 300 million years, then passed into history with the dinosaurs. 

So who are we, short lived as we are, to say I give up, I can't be bothered, it's too hard, I'm tired. Because who knows how many days we have, we may be given ample time to look back in regret and say I should have tried harder, I shouldn't have quit so soon. 

Today we are planting at least four of the new trees, trees we won't be here to see in their mature majesty, but on we plant. We also have a bundle of 14 railroad ties to set in the sloping garden as terraces. About 250 pounds each. No giving up now. 


Tuesday, March 30, 2021

Scale Of Life

 Dinosaures de Marseille ~ Queen of Coins/Ammonites

 A Protoceratop Queen knows life is a balancing act. Pizza and brussel sprouts. Binge-watching and turning it all off. Fear and courage. All in all out. 

Being human doesn't equal smart, thumbs or not, and common sense can be boring. No one promised easy, so I'll take balanced!

Added later, from a post on MrMoneyMustache forum: the universe will not cut her any slack just because she exhausted herself chasing the monkeys in someone else's circus.

Monday, March 29, 2021

Not Heedlessly Normal

 Dinosaures de Marseille ~ 3 of Coins/Ammonites

Time to start coming out of our shells. 

Rob is having his second Covid vax today, mine is next week. Tomorrow I start the process toward eye surgery, and we've made several appointments we've been putting off. Last week I took my gleamers to the jewelry store for cleaning and repair. Not exactally social life, certainly not heedlessly normal, but all things that wouldn't have happened in 2020. 



Sunday, March 28, 2021

Series Of Lessons

Dinosaures de Marseille ~ Strength

Allosaurus thought Brachiosaurus would be an easy meal. Wonder if he lived to think so afterward. So many things look easy until we try it. Fishing, playing the piano, typing, painting, canasta...whichever one finished the fight was no doubt smarter than before. Life 101, it will be a series of lessons. 


Saturday, March 27, 2021

Minipulation

 Prisma Visions Tarot ~ Magician

Reminds me of Alfred Hitchcock, the director manipulating the actors and thus the audience. Unless we've actually experienced it in real life, a lot of our opinions and sometimes expectations come from film. The Wild West, space, Wall Street, politics, war, science, technology, hookers, tarot, romance; all mostly unrealistic and based on what sells, chills, makes us cry. 

Ummm, which door to chose, reality or magic? 

Friday, March 26, 2021

What Remains

 Prisma Visions Tarot ~ 5 of Cups

The figure releases three toxic cups, letting go, liberating himself. It is a choice. Rather than allow the bitter to flavor everything, what remains can be savored, appreciated. 

Thursday, March 25, 2021

There She Sits

 Prisma Visions Tarot ~ 2 of Swords

Delusion and false reality. Choosing to self-blind she waves her swords at a butterfly and has dressed inappropriately for conditions. And still, there she sits. 

Is she stubborn? Is she waiting for someone else to clean up her mess? A white knight or a god or a miracle to make it all go away? 

Free will, use it or abuse it, either way we live with our choices. 

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Juggling Act

 Prisma Visions Tarot ~ 2 of Coins

This card suggests that worrying too much about one thing is what throws us out of balance, we miss what is going on somewhere else. Probably good advice. 

I'd forgotten this deck has panorama suits so I pulled out the ace, four, and five. Yes there is a story here. I knew what it would be when I saw the two and three together...can you see it? 

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

No Vacuum Here

 Prisma Visions Tarot ~ 3 of Coins

He is working alone, our craftsman. But he didn't get here by himself, none of us do. Our skills are built on those who have gone before us, and not much happens in a vacuum. Someone designed the building, imagined then created the window, someone made the bricks and someone in the past planted those trees offering today's shade. 

Easy to forget, important to remember. 

Monday, March 22, 2021

Tending The Fire

 Prisma Visions Tarot ~ 3 of Wands

Tending the fire. If the Wands are considered the 'doing' suit this is a key card. It is so easy to throw ourselves into something new and exciting, but maintaining that feeling is another thing entirely. 

What in my life needs maintenance today? The kitchen. After we had cupboards and walls painted last February it is so light and bright. But after a season of woodstove heat I noticed yesterday there is also a fine film of residue on the dozen teapots on display. A soapy wash, a cupboard wipedown while they dry, followed by a lovely pot of tea as a reward. Tending my fire. 

Sunday, March 21, 2021

Up Out Of Reach

 Prisma Visions Tarot ~ 2 of Cups

Unguarded human connections. It takes courage expose ourselves, bodily, verbally, mentally. Because it gives so much ammunition if things go awry, so to avoid pain or embarrassment we hold our secret selves and inner dreams and fears inside, away, up out of reach. 

I'm still thinking about my Muffins post. What possessed me to share that? But I haven't deleted it either. I was embarrassed by the rejection, furious at the perceived idea that Rob was less than. Flabbergasted at how much of our time and energy they had wasted. Children stuck in the system who had a potential forever home and didn't get it. 

Or it could just be Poor Pitiful Pearl. Whatever, it is good to have someone to share with. 

Saturday, March 20, 2021

Unfurl Thyself!


 Ostara ~ Celebrating the spring equinox! Uncurl and unfurl! 

Friday, March 19, 2021

Muffins

 Ostara Tarot ~ Queen of Coins

Healing herbs, and a shield nearby. Not much but more prepared than many parents at the babe in arms stage. I'm usually at a bit of a loss with cards like this, I've been a babe, but not a mother so I can only observe and emphasize. 

There was a few years in our 30's when we had our own home, lots of space, financially stable, when we applied to the State of Oregon to adopt. We were willing to take a family of 2-4 siblings, to keep them together. Rob was fostered out so many times in his youth and that was in part the driving force behind our planning. It was an interesting experience, being interviewed multiple times, having our home and finances inspected, friends and doctor quizzed. After a couple of years I asked what the problem was, there were obviously children going homeless, families being torn apart. 

The response shocked me to the core. "Well, Mrs. Woerz, I'll be honest since you ask. These little muffins need a full time father." Rob was a trucker, gone quite a bit. They had no idea what a wonderful man they were writing off. And how many times were those same children fostered out for months or years and then placed back in the same home they were taken from, the one with the full time fully unsuitable fathers? Screw them and the horses they rode in on, no one disses my Rob. I withdrew from the program on the spot. Well...that came out of nowhere. Cards. Always interesting. 

Thursday, March 18, 2021

Change And Choice

 Ostara Tarot ~ 2 of Coins

Balancing his coins on a rocking ship, this figure looks like he is doing the Russian Folk Dance. Perhaps he has chosen to seek his fame and fortune as a dancer. Perhaps he is a stowaway, running away from danger or abuse. Could be a sailor just happy to see land through the porthole. Will he chose to sail again and work up to First Mate or jump ship and travel a new path?

That's the thing about the 2s, there are always choices to be made and that early in the journey it is easy to see change as greener grass on the other side. Sometimes it is, but truth is we make our own grass, if it is yellow and dormant we might consider time well spent thinking about why that is. 

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Awkward Times Ahead

 Ostara Tarot ~ Sun

The book says this is a warrior poised for action. Looks like a bee with pollen on her wings to me. Funny how ten people can see or hear the same thing and have ten different opinions depending on our mind set and world view. 

Rob and I have both had our first Covid shots. I haven't had a hug from anyone but Rob since February 14, 2000. Unbelievable, I am the queen of hugs. But I won't be seeking any out any time soon, people I love are refusing to get vaccinated. I forsee awkward times ahead. 



Tuesday, March 16, 2021

Chains

 Ostara Tarot ~ Devil 

The chains that bind us to being less than our best. Why do you suppose we cling on to them so, polish them up, rattle them incessantly? Lack of consequences? It's a funny old world...

Monday, March 15, 2021

Drudgework

 Ostara Tarot ~ 8 of Coins

Diligent effort, enjoyable labor. When we enjoy doing it, it doesn't feel like work. Our 'take out the ratty old cottonwoods' project has blossomed into more fun that you can shake a stick at. The place where they were is morphing into a place of real beauty, and additionally will have a rock wall mirroring the top bed, which has four new trees too. The garden transformation is coming right along, with additional raspberry plants, two types of blueberries, and a lovely big rhubarb plant. And there will be plantings of gladiolus around the berries and somewhere along the line some dinnerplate dahlias have joined the crowd.  

8 of Coins is what we make it. And it doesn't have to be drudgework. 

Sunday, March 14, 2021

Fulfillment

 Ostara Tarot ~ 10 of Coin

Fulfillment as a provider. Rob's labor all our life provided the income, my good stewardship of that effort and learning to invest it provides the income in our retirement. Who knew it would all work out so well? 

Octopus is a bit of a sad projection of a stable parenthood though. The female lays eggs only once and it always costs her her life. A conundrum for thought today.

Saturday, March 13, 2021

Running On Empty

 Tarot of the Spirit ~ Mystery Card

Frankly my dear, I prefer the Happy Squirrel. Eakins says "empty out to know fullness". Make of it what you will. I agree sometimes our mental or physical well is tapped out, we need to recognize it and give it time to refill. Running on empty is not a good place to be and it isn't sustainable. 

Friday, March 12, 2021

Cull

Tarot of the Spirit ~ Justice/Karma

Accepting the consequences of actions, owning the truth of words, thoughts, deeds. Heavy going this early in the morning. I'm still recovering from struggling to be still water yesterday. Must have been in preparation for being open to the fruit of my life actions today. I'm pretty sure I've made a cull of it all. What a waste of space I've been. 

Thursday, March 11, 2021

Be The Water

 Tarot of the Spirit ~ Ace of Cups/Water

Eakins: Water has no temperature except to rise and fall based on environmental application. It has no sound unless impacted by other conditions. Invisible unless reflecting. Neutral. 

I'm going to try for this today. To be the
water rather than the applications and conditions.

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Is It Enough?

 Tarot of the Spirit ~ Strength

Eakins says at this point the Dance of Life becomes ever more precious. Once we've had a brush or two with death, lost loved ones, had Tower events that changed us, we begin to find our strengths. Sometimes it is anger and bitterness that keeps people going on, others find power in creativity and challenges. 

I'm reminded by this card and the bands and hands circling stone, we all find our personal rock, the part of our spirit that keeps us hanging on and going forward. We discover the truth of what we've nurtured and honed. And if it's enough.

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

Polishing My Nadiars

 Tarot of the Spirit ~ 5 of Coins/Earth

Nadir. Sounds as bad as it is. We've had some horrible awful terrible times. That don't even begin to come near some horrible times we see in the news and history books every day. Some people could use some horrible times, wake them up to reality, but there I go, judging again and my coffee not even touched yet. 

On the other hand if I'm happy it doesn't take away from someone else's happy does it? It isn't like there is only a gallon of happy to go around. So I go on, polishing my Nadiars, patting myself on the back for coming through them. 

I feel a poor pitiful me day coming on. Time to savor my blessings, enumerate my resources. And take everything with a grain of salt, my body is struggling today. I'm alive, and facing nothing terrible. I can wish that for the world today. It's only a 5 after all. 

Monday, March 8, 2021

Wobbly World

 Tarot of the Spirit ~ Wheel

Our outer world is a reflection of what we are seeking or hiding in our inner world. The upward and downward movements are our opportunities to renew healthy balance in a world that will always wobble. 

Sunday, March 7, 2021

Unfurled

 Tarot of the Spirit ~ Queen of Swords/Mother Wind

"Intellectual process completed, clarity and commitment now apply" Eakins. In the night when I'm not sleeping I'm now creating collages of paper. Probably because I'd written a 'letter to the editor' yesterday I was still wound up and thought of an image I'd discarded yesterday; 'I don't know anything about horses, I haven't had any real horse events in my life to draw from...' but in the night that image of wild horses filled my mind and the thought 'wild horses couldn't drag me wild horses couldn't make me'. Today I'll get that image back out and start that piece. 

All that said to say, sometimes our inner Queen thinks she knows everything there is to know, and doesn't. The value of having an open mind is unfurling possibilities and potentials. 

Saturday, March 6, 2021

Who Wields The Knife?

 Ananda Tarot ~ 3 of Swords

I'm taking myself off a medication that keeps me upright and functioning. I'm pretty apprehensive. But I'm still trying to figure out why I cough to insensibility... I have to figure this out if I'm ever to go out in public again! I'd rather be in pain with a zimmer frame than cough all day. A 3 of Swords decision. Sometimes it is us that wields the knife, to make room for something better. 

Friday, March 5, 2021

Can't Lose For Winning

 Ananda Tarot ~ 6 of Wands

Ananda views the 6s as harmony, as in the cube and honeycomb, all the parts working as one. The common RWS image is victory. Today my Google presented Arts and Culture wallpaper is a 200 bce Roman general conquesting Africa. Painted in the 18th century, portraying africans with european features. You know...to make the picture saleable to his clients. 

Was that cancel culture or am I cancel culture wanting to tear it to pieces? One more thing that is not a victory of wisdom and harmony but political division. Can't win for losing, no one wins in that battle. 

(various flavors of google wallpaper for Chrome (free) can be accessed and set via Chrome Web Store/Extensions  scroll down to the bottom of the page.)


This is the wallpaper on my home screen. My lock screen is the photo of the first eggs from my little Easter Egger hens last year. Being a victor at harmony is what we choose to make it. 


Thursday, March 4, 2021

The Big Picture

 Ananda Tarot ~ 7 of Coins/Spheres

The standard image is a project coming to fruition, in this orb I can see 'the big picture', promise if we work the path the path expands. 

I've had so many seeds when nurtured and worked were absolutely nothing like I thought they'd be, but assuredly better. Time + experience = garnered wisdom. I'm bouncing on my seat this morning because my current path reminded me yesterday about something I discovered long ago, that can apply to this project. Seeds netting more seeds! Synchronicity! 7 of Coins!

Wednesday, March 3, 2021

mailer-daemon

 Ananda Tarot ~ 2 of Cups

Connections. How tenuous do they need to be before you cut the tie? A better question, how does google factor it? Recently in a family emergency I couldn't find my aunt's email. I've puzzled over that, then discovered I also didn't have other aunts and cousins email addresses, even though I knew I did. 

Enter yesterday, and an email to a dear friend came back from mailer-daemon...Recipient address rejected: User does not exist. Quickly sorted, ancient address, delete it. Turns out with gmail that isn't as easy as it sounds unless you google how to do it, not very user friendly. 

Long story short I'm going through all those miles of hidden contacts, putting people I care about back in contacts from this no-man's-land, and deleting all those thousands? that I don't remember or had just the brief interaction with, or know to be defunct. Funny little job, but I have time today and it just feels like something I should do. 2 of Cups. Make them one in a million that matter rather than one of millions that do not.

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

Impropriety At The Top

 Ananda Tarot ~ Emperor and Star

I confess, I drew the Emperor, got my immediate visceral reaction, fanned again and drew the Star. Drawing the Emperor is the only card I ever have this reaction to, every other card is an interesting project toward greater understanding of my place in the world, today. Then I thought, I'll take the Emperor, if I can have Star...standard grade school team picking.

Power corrupts. I get that. The Emperors of the world will never be other than what they are, but I don't have to live my life that way. Ananda's Star suggests "within human existence we are given as many possibilities as we are given limitations". 

The joy I found, in the last 30 years of too many Tower events, has been forming and reforming my personal actions and attitudes toward having better tomorrows. I can't kick the (Y)'s of Emperors, but I can work on keeping the Star in my own orbit. Keep the black abyss that calls me at bay. 

Monday, March 1, 2021

Cat's Eye View

 Ananda Tarot ~ Hanged Man/Reverse

I generally see the Hanged image as being locked in, by circumstances, indecision, roadblocks, fear or anger keeping me from breaking lose and going forward; sometimes pure unadulterated stubbornness, often simply blinders. 

I'm reading a kind of crazy book, The Dalai Lama's Cat, it is a little heavy handed on 'the moral of the story'...but by fact checking and one thing leading to another I've learned a some interesting things about Dalai Lama and his home town. He has a number of fine watches for instance, the one he wears the most is a Rolex Day/Date. Why not? A watch is a watch is a watch, and why not beauty and fine workmanship. He also likes working with tools and fixing things. Does he actually have a cat? I don't think so but has often been photographed in the company of animals.

The point being, I think, by taking a completely different cat's eye view of a revered personage, I've unstuck something else, and been able to move forward. I seldom understand my method to the madness, but it works for me.