Knighton sees the Tower as Witness. Interesting concept. We generally see the Tower events as bystander or victim but actively engaged, all about us. Yet the plane going down or house on fire or the cancer are inert, non-judgemental, distant, hands off, neutral.
Next time I have a Tower moment...I'll give a thought to the tower. Look from its viewpoint.
Both of my neighbors have small backyard ponds. A week ago the frogs started up. Not a clue how they can sleep at night. But I have my bedroom window open so the mourning dove hooty-hoot and Rusty Boy the bantam rooster wake me up.
I'm guessing that means we all have differing levels of temperance.
Stunted cocoon or full metamorphosis? The butterfly doesn't build the cocoon she is birthed from nor do we, but from birth our lives become one of choices.
Are we qualified to judge our own life? At the end maybe, who knows what we might do tomorrow? Something to think on for today.
Pulled this card and was already spewing before fingers hit keyboard. A trigger card assuredly. A system where higher courts are political appointments and lower courts are elective, and in which neither results in decent qualified judges.
I've never had experience with an Alexa type AI, but I wonder what programed strictly by law books justice would be like? Terrifying I expect, but blind to color, gender, dress and manner. But still, originally programed by someone human somewhere. In a country with an agenda.
A mental pattern shift, which often end up in a physical pattern shift. Covid has brought this to many of us, time and changes in time available nearly always does, maturity certainly can, along with changing needs, interests, funding, and abilities.
All of the above apply to me. A profound change in politics and view of my fellow americans. A complete change in my medications has brought about unexpected results. A shift in leisure time activities which has upgeared my brain in different directions, changes in how we use our house and property.
Being open to change, by choice or force, keeps my brain nimble...
Knighton likens her queen to metabolism and understanding the physical biology that makes living things tick, the processes needed to bring acorn to oak, pollen to honey; the cooperation of heart (cups), mind (swords) hands (wands) body (coins) to create the wholesome healthy total.
Sounds idyllic on paper. But the mad monkey sets in, the heart betrays, the hands flit, spirit darkens. Doing my Quirkeries Book of Days is part of my daily practice to keep body mind spirit on the path.
Imperfections. We're humans so we got 'em. Some of mine I've turned to strengths, some like my temper and judgmentalness I'll always have to rein in, some have been sanded away by time.
I'm confident tomorrow I'll grow some new ones. Means I'm still alive. Always a good thing.
McLaughlin would liken this tree to the ability to lift downer dark depressive thought patterns by seeking out and maintaining mood lifting practices.
This winter and spring, somehow through my collage work, I've managed to lift out of the soul deep grief for my little sister, lost to lung cancer in 2012. Nine years is a long time to be frozen there. Kintsugi of and for the heart.
Fear. Of failure, of being embarrassed, of getting hurt, of getting in trouble, of going broke, of hearing the worst news, of losing something important, of being in the wrong, of opposing the crowd..so many ways. To live a life of fear.
I have a worry box, which includes feary things. The box only holds so much, if something new needs to go in something old needs to come out. Mostly what this mental exercise has taught me is pretty much everything we worry about and are fearful of never happen, and when it does, it doesn't kill us. We change tacks, or start fresh, or learn our lesson. But living in fear... no siree bob.
A Ginkgo tree is the centerpiece of our new plantings this year. It is the oldest species of trees still surviving, dating back 290 million years. They can grow to 80' tall and 40' wide. A funny thing happened on the way to the planting, in wrestling it out of the pot the top got busted off. I shrieked, Rob swore. I laughed, Rob swore.
I said this reminds me of the time we were first married and you kept poking me with the tip of your fishing pole, and I reached out and broke it off. Now we're even. That got a laugh and he thought maybe we were.
But the rest of the story? I brought that 2' tip up to the house and put it in a bucket of water and it is leafing out like crazy. I think I even see root fuzzies coming. Two ginkgos for the price of one, what could be more harmonious?
The author likens independence to being able to love self and gain the life we deserve. Debatable on so many levels. I'm white, moderately educated, and live in America. Yeah, I can have all the independence I can stand. Not so in so many other countries.
Today, I'll appreciate the independence I have, that I've earned, and that has been gifted to me.
"You Are Enough". I've seldom found that to be so, I'm often my own worst enemy. Yet a little research shows me a lot of our everyday furniture is alder based, and black alder bark has been used for centuries, it contains the anti-inflammatory salicin, which is metabolized into salicylic acid in the body. Big timber men think of alder as junk wood, but it is a backbone of the industry.
So yes, I can see myself as alder, the backbone of my humble selfness. I've always known I'm no Sequoia... but I'm enough.
Social Confidence. An odd thing happened on the way to social functioning again. After a year with no company, when Elle and Harvey arrived this week... turns out the dogs have become unsocialized. Xavier and Xing-Xing, our puppy mill doxies went nuts, Xingy even had Elle's cuff in his mouth! Total reversion from the gentlemen with impeccable manners they had become. Fiona, she of sweet nature and mild manners went berserk.
I'm wondering if this is a microcosm of the forty-seven mass shootings we've seen in this country this year. My mind turns to politics and I want to spew. Instead I'll turn to our new trees, stroke and speak to them, admire the pink blossoms now on the weeping crabapple, the enormous bloom coming on one of the magnolias, and appreciate the color beginning to show on our existing lilacs. Nature will still be here long after we've extincted ourselves. Good for it.
Self delusion, passion turning to obsession, overdoing to extremes. Easy to do, hard to step back from. The excitement of the chase, the thrill of possession, the ashes of no meaning at all.
Moderation is a hard lesson to learn.
"you really like me!" Sally Field. "they really want me!" Kaiser Research Study. When we were in our 50s we were part of a years long study in relation to the feasibility of giving shingles vaccinations to people in that age group. Prior to approval of the study they were only available to those 60 and older. It was interesting and fun. I'm currently in a worldwide study for the experimental implant in my eye. Also interesting and fun. And gives me hope.
Today we were invited to apply for acceptance in one or more of a number of studies related to dementia or cancer, both of serious interest to us.
In a world where people will believe in anything and nothing, to me, it is important to be part of the long term truth. We are willing to put in the time and effort for those who have yet to experience these terrible diseases. Maybe their results will be better than ours.
A boy and his ox, working fertile soil. Typical innocent though, he is still heading for the cliff as he has his focus turned to Sirius. I'd have not got all that without my magnifier and the little companion book. When I was growing up the radio offered Paul Harvey's program "the rest of the story". A news story would be presented and then the announcer would boom "but here is the rest of the story". Something about the background of the person of interest, or the backstory of how things came to this state.
Even as a little kid I got it...the concept of without the full story we didn't produce intelligent opinions, we were just shooting in the dark. Perhaps that was even the seed of my info-junkiedom. The Fool is always destined for an interesting journey, but without forethought he will also stumble and fall when it isn't necessary.
We have friends coming this afternoon. Real hugs from real people after fourteen months. How cool is that?
And second eye surgery this morning, more sciencemiracle. I'm going for a 9 of cups day all the way.
Advantageous circumstances. Remember those squeeze rubber coin purses businesses used to give away? Both my grandmothers used them. That is what my life feels like right now, my squeeze purse of advantageous circumstances is stuffed. Old fashioned or not, I'm one lucky person.
Always my favorite card in a deck, but considered a darker card by readers in general, one of madness, illusion, broken dreams. Zillich associates the phases with Artemis, Selene, and Hecate or maiden mother crone. Which I think is a modern construct, but whatever if I wanted a deck to always tell me the same thing, I'd always use the same deck.
I'm a bit maiden/crone this week. I've worn glasses since I was sixteen, this week, even with just one eye done I've discarded them. But I look like people do who have always worn glasses, we look like we should still be wearing them. I think It's the 'glasses eye bags'? But imagine this time next week after the second eye is done. I'll probably be able to see through Rob's clothes. It's be our little joke, ok? He'll be wondering why I'm following him around. Looking at the moon :)
The birth of spring, raw energy, clarity of purpose. Clarity seems evasive to me this morning. Am I expecting a lightning bolt? A clear straight road? A book to tell me how to be/get claritized?
Better I just continue my deep spring cleaning...something will come to me.
Steadfast, true to myself, my standards, my beliefs. Sometimes it's lonely...there are as many opinions and beliefs and conspiracies out there as there are people.
When I was little I believed everything everyone told me, after all everyone was an authority over me. As time went by I realized people lie, people have agendas, people are still believing what they were told without thinking about it. This is better.
Under shady palms during the midday sun...stop, reflect, take inventory. I started the week with spring cleaning, so far kitchen and living room top to bottom. Now my eye is healing, neither one working very well, and with serious depth perception problems, I'm mostly sitting. Counting my blessings, watching the new trees start to bud out, the weeping crabapple even has some color starting! Making fresh greek yogurt, love my little instant-pot. I'll live, it is just a couple of weeks.
Generations of science but my first cataract surgery seems like magic to me. Can't wait to have the second eye done next week. One example? From my pillow I could read the clock on my nightstand. I haven't been able to do that for at least twenty years...magic!
Good omens for today, Moon, raven, and wolf. On the other hand this is Odin who apparently had never heard the word NO and could have benefited from it. Hearing no, and saying no bring balance into our lives, and as always, seeing the moon makes me happy. All good on the western front.
Freya on a boar with a companion lynx. I haven't got much in common with Freya other than a sense of determination. As a driving force in my life though, it could be considered my spiritual chariot.
Lynx is a great scrabble word isn't it? Played right you could ride that one to victory...
"Reevalueate priorities". Don't know about anyone else, but that is what I've spent the last nine months doing. January-June 2020 were mostly the get on a horse and ride in all directions at once stage. From then on I seemed to get my brain organized in a manner that has taken me in more focused and useful directions.
I've made deeper learning a priority. I've explored subjects new to me. I'm trying my hand at a new hobby which is giving me great pleasure. I've reorganized some of our basic habits. My 7 of Swords has been a mining for treasure in my mental backyard and I've indeed found value to carry me forward.
"Pushing the boundaries of self imposed limitations" Lisa Hunt
Why do we do that, impose limits on our self? I can't do that! No way, people will just laugh... well so what. Who cares? Other people really don't if we stop to think about it. I've pushed myself with the paper collage that is helping me keep my sanity this past year. And I've even impressed myself a couple of times. And laughed at myself. And embarrassed myself. But it is all good because I stepped beyond my self imposed limitations, and reached for the top branches. Life is good. The only one capable of limiting me is me.
Oblivious to the meteor coming to end life as he knows it our dinosaur sips from the spring he thinks will always be there.
Near death and approaching death are about the only way humans change paths too, far too late to make any difference at all. I've made huge directional changes...all internally, not affecting anything at all in the course of humanity. I'm ok with that, I'm rooting for the Meteor.
Compsognathus were turkey sized, found in Europe 150 million years ago. From this point of view I thought they'd be house sized. That's what a Tower/Volcano moment will do, put things in perspective.
After this past year, I'm rooting for the volcano.
Getting a grip lest we lose the plot, keeping our eyes on the goal, laser focused. There is also an element of trying to keep up with the Jones here, holding our eyes on someone else's goal. Never healthy or wise, a fossilized target.
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