Monday, May 31, 2021

Peaceful Heart

 Tyldwick Tarot ~ High Priestess

Still and passive. I can be still, passive is hard. I try to be proactive on things I know will happen, and not worry about what might happen as it seldom does. But to be passive? Hard not to react when someone sets off my hot button. To cruelty, to bullying, to ignorance, to hate. 

I'm trying to instill a sense of passive in my heart. Not victim passive but loving passivity. Late in the game, but today is the only day we have so why not work with it, rather than obsess on the past which will never change, or the future which might not come. For today, peaceful heart. 

Sunday, May 30, 2021

Meaningless Words

 Tyldwick Tarot ~ Justice

Is the fourteen year old boy from Florida going to get justice for stabbing a thirteen year old girl one hundred and fourteen times? What could justice be?

What justice could there be for the first peoples of the two north american nations who were systematically massacred, starved, ripped from their lands, cheated, and had their children stolen, whose culture and very names were then stolen from them? 

There isn't any justice in this world, never was never will be. Only people with power and powerless people. 

Saturday, May 29, 2021

Success In A Darkening World

 Tabula Mundi Tarot ~ Priestess

She is one of those esoteric folk, most of what she chooses to actually share goes right over everyone else's head or in one ear and out the other. 

The word esoteric is a bit like the word elite. If you know, if you are one, you wonder what all the fuss is about, it is the norm. I'm pondering the future of the little two year old in California who was admitted to Mensa this week. Will she change the world by the time she is eight? Will she take her own life because she seems an alien in human form? Our future is unknown and it's just as well. I wish her all the success in a darkening world. 

Friday, May 28, 2021

Physical Forces

 Tabula Mundi Tarot ~ 4 of Coins

In thoth-speak, this is 'earthly power but nothing beyond, skill in management of physical forces'. Clearly said but fuzzy to my little brain. That I can coordinate my legs and brain to get up and walk to the kitchen? Generals directing battalions? Thousands of independent drivers moving cars in unison down a freeway? That an ant can pull a piece of cake bigger that itself down into its hill?

I think I'll have a little lie down...maybe put some tinfoil on my head. 

Thursday, May 27, 2021

Coming Down The Pike

 Tabula Mundi Tarot ~ Devil 

I seem to get this card often. Probably to check I still don't believe he exists other than part of our self. But then I don't believe in angels either, with the exception of Snow Angels. 

I do have my devil side though, which is part of strength. Without that part of my brain to think things through, to refuse to be pushed around I'd be a limp dishcloth, at the whim of every brainwasher that came down the pike. 

It is how we chose to utilize and make our parts cohesive that make us whole and healthy. Balance..

Wednesday, May 26, 2021

Parched Ground

 Tabula Mundi Tarot ~ 7 of Cups 

Our pleasures are corrupted, we delude ourselves, our visions of greatness are illusions, violence creeps in. 

The parched ground beneath our feet should have been our first clue. If we don't nourish what supports us, all will eventually fail. 

In October I stopped doing my gratitude journal. Last night I opened up the app and it felt like coming home. I have much to nourish me, to help me flourish where I'm planted. A good life is here, if we work at it. Having a barren one is also a choice. 

Tuesday, May 25, 2021


 Tabula Mundi Tarot ~ Fool

The zero card, can't be added to can't be taken away from. The RWS decks mostly present him as a hero of sorts, moving on, eager, starting fresh. Not the Thoth Fool, this one is an adult, stuck at 0. We see this Fool in the news every day. 

I've had a private blog for at least a dozen years, my accumulated knowledge of the Thoth system. Yesterday I went to peruse and 3/4 of the blog has disappeared. I had a walk around the house, said good morning to the hens and the crows, came in, looked again, searched by word, by deck, by suit, by card. Nada. So I deleted it. 0 is not a place I'll stay, I have many more options for learning now than then. 

Good practice. I occasionally think about this blog just being gone someday. So many thinks, so much of my life. But I'm not the 0 Fool, I'd move on. 

Monday, May 24, 2021

Rooting For Compliments

 Tabula Mundi Tarot ~ Prince of Wands

Dramatic, egotistical, pompous. Bold, self-confident, strong. 

A woman I couldn't stand once told me we were much alike. Gag me with a spoon. But I look at the first three descriptors of this Prince and think about the aversion I have for this type of person in leadership positions and decided I'll do my Monday thinks on rooting out these characteristics in myself. 

I notice I'm not denying myself the compliment of the second group. 

Sunday, May 23, 2021


 Tabula Mundi Tarot ~ 6 of Coins

Sandwiched between Worry and Failure, our pomegranates encourage us to make hay while the sun shines. Sitting on our laurels, lollygagging over lattes...boring old chestnuts but how often do we make poor choices and repeat the cycle? 

Rob about goes into cardiac arrest when I invest when the market drops. He has learned not to clutch his heart and stagger around though, savvy is funding his cushy retirement. No lattes here, I have far better places to work my 6 of Coins. 

Friday, May 21, 2021

Impressionable Minds

 Tarocco Piemontese ~ 6 of Swords

A new one on me, the 6 of Swords being a representation of the Slough of Despond. The Slough of Despond is a fictional, deep bog in John Bunyan's allegory The Pilgrim's Progress, into which the protagonist Christian sinks under the weight of his sins and his sense of guilt for them. (from wiki)

I remember clear as day this story being presented to a wad of us little kids at Bible School, six or seven years old, colorful pictures being pressed to flannel board. What possessed them to inflict this image on us? Oh yeah, that's right, frightening impressionable minds into bowing to religions. I hope those teachers spent a lot of time in the bog for this sin. 

Thursday, May 20, 2021

Moony Smiley Frown

 Tarocco Piemontese ~ Moon

Ok. Sun insists I turn a frown into a smile. Moon says I can be grumpy if I want to. 

I've been on an Ebay mission to find collage sources, ordering a few of many magazines. Some were frowns because magazines are not legal media mail products so a number have been inspected in route and returned to sender for more postage. A lot more postage. Their problem, I got refunds. 

Some have been absolute treasure troves, a few I had to mine hard for gold. The funniest, has been lost in transit for three weeks. Yesterday the packet arrives. I 'thought' I was getting magazines to do with fonts and printing. Turns out I got 4"x6" 20 page brochures with no images, just motivational paragraphs. I laughed, then frowned, but says on the cover it is a magazine... The print is too small for me to read of course. Maybe I'll stick them in Joan's next letter :) 

Wednesday, May 19, 2021

Recognize And Celebrate

 Tarocco Piemontese ~ 6 of Wands

Triumphant and celebratory. a quiet life I need to recognize these things or they go right by. 

Our first peony plant is blooming this week. Huge butter yellow blossoms. Right outside my window here. +++++!

Managed to get Ash's hairball paste down her this morning without smearing it all over her face and chest. Or mine. ++

Xing-Xing, who is now deaf and blind still has his sense of smell and can find us. +++ He is losing weight though, never good in a senior dog.

Pretty sure we've sold the 1948 John Deere LA ++++ Watching this video makes me want to keep it though 

Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Sugar and Peanut

 Tarocco Piemontese ~ World

Saddled with a blank mind this morning I looked at some of my old posts on World. May 2012 said this: "In a perfect world all seven of the new chicks would be hens, I fear two are Lola posers". Turns out only one was and Peanut turned out to be the best rooster on earth. Tiny, just one hand high. We grieved mightily when he passed and buried him lovingly under the special yellow rose bush. 

Only one of that batch left, Sugar Bear, a Belgian d'Uccle banty. Nine years old, ancient by chicken standards. When the new girls were introduced last year, she was henpecked to the point she wouldn't even go back in the pen at night. So we made a princess house for her in the other half of the coop and there she has reigned. She expects to be lifted down  in the morning, and she chooses to spend her days in the goat paddock, hopping through the fence to get there. But at coop time she runs back and forth in front of the gate, waiting for one of us to come open it so she can get home for her dried mealyworms. Perfect World. 

Sugar Bear and Peanut, bless 'em both

Monday, May 17, 2021

Ethical Conundrum

 Tarocco Piemontese ~ 9 of Coins

In order to have a very good day, sometimes we need to be careful how far we cast our net...not fair, but anyone who thinks life is fair needs a rethink. 

Yesterday was gorgeous so we scurried along, got our chores finished and drove down to the nursery to look for hollyhocks and delphiniums. Approaching, Rob said do we need to wear our masks? Humm. New CDC guidelines say no. Yet, Nine of the New York Yankee ball team have tested positive this past week, all are vaccinated. Proof the vaccination works, none have any symptoms at all. But. All can give it to someone not vaccinated and potentially kill them and their families. 

An ethical conundrum.  If someone refuses to get a freely available vaccination at this point, it is still my responsibility to mask? Just because I'm safe do I not need to continue to worry or care about anyone else? Do they get what they deserve? It took the shine off my 9 of Coins day. 

Sunday, May 16, 2021

Fashion Statement

 Tarocco Piemontese ~ King of Swords

After my lovely equality filled floaty ride yesterday I'm having trouble getting a usual rant built up against kings and their ilk. But I haven't read today's news yet. Not going to either. 

I will say, I do not know why men still wear neckties. An icon of corporate and political mental slavery if I ever saw one and a hundred years out of date. I wonder what backstabbing cohort convinced this king that hat was a powerful fashion statement? 

Saturday, May 15, 2021

Clarity And Balance

 Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ Ace of Swords/Winter

Clarity of thought. I was puzzled last Sunday when I saw tributes and images referencing their mothers on my paper collage forum. It took a couple of hours for it to click that it was Mother's Day. I've been thinking about it all week and realized I have no clarity about my own mother. Those last years caring for her in my home while dementia took her were terrible. And that is the mother I see and hear when she comes to mind. 

So yesterday I made a collage piece for that mother. It's powerful. And in a small way, healing. I'll do some more until clarity and balance arrive. 

Friday, May 14, 2021


 Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ 2 of Cups/Summer

Doesn't this look like fun? Probably the only thing on my bucket list of rest and relax that we haven't done. Maybe this year. Always got to have something to look forward to. I love they are both rowing, equality, isn't it grand!

Thursday, May 13, 2021

All Thousand Pages

 Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ 4 of Cups/Summer

Oh, those lazy hazy crazy days of summer. This brings to mind childhood of course, summer vacation from school. Another outmoded construct of course, from the agrarian days when children had to work the fields. 

Lest I go afield with a rant, my favorite part of summer was the big bookmobile that came around every two weeks. The bookmobile lady would always say I couldn't take those books, they were above my age and reading level and mother would always say she reads above her age level, if she only took thin children's books they'd be finished in three days. Have never lost my love for big thick books. I just finished the Stories of Ray Bradbury. How could I have missed this author? Such wordsmithing, fright with humor, out of the box point of view...I'm ready to read it again, all thousand pages. Ah...summer. 

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Bored Bullies

 Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ 5 of Swords/Winter

When bored bullies are left to their own devices their true nature always comes out. Read the news lately? 

Tuesday, May 11, 2021


 Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ Ace of Coins/Autumn

Both the beginning and the culmination. The root chakra of the suit. My earthly mind is having trouble settling today. So I spent some time at the big brown roll top desk. And made a Brown collage card. Based not on what the images represent but only their color. 

Wagon wheel painting wallpaper ceramic bird pottery Mona Lisa. And back to the hub of the wagon wheel. Does it teach me anything? I think so. If I'm running into the wall, go out the door. Reverse engineer my thought patterns. 

In the background now I have a video running on creativity and the elementals. In the background because she has my eyes rolling like window shades and I sincerely want to cross my arms across my chest. But I bet I'll learn something if I keep the door open. It may be brown for a few days...but there will be a seed that will attach to a thought, and open my mind a bit. I can live with that, and appreciate it. 

Monday, May 10, 2021

Hold Them Close

 Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ 3 of Wands/Spring

Affection and comfort. Rob said the sweetest thing to me yesterday. He is a man whose norm is show rather than speak so I'm holding those words close to my heart. 

Sunday, May 9, 2021


 Victorian Fairy Tarot ~ Hermit

His solitude is essential to his pursuit of understanding. Weatherstone

He isn't working in a vacuum though. I see books, I see nature's wisdom. I can guess his books are selected from solid thinkers over centuries. Probably not posts, pics, tweets from social media users hiding behind rude usernames. 

Choices. We become the inner creature we feed. 

Saturday, May 8, 2021

Be My Own Arbiter

 Tarot of Little Secrets ~ 3 of Cups

Maybe today is a day to celebrate small things.

I'm glad I'm not 80 nor 18. I do appreciate who and what I am this day. 

Don't know if it is mental because I've had the shots or if it is the better weather = better attitude, but the covid weight gain is melting off rapidly.

I think after 10 years of trying to eliminate my chronic coughing fits I've whittled down to something that is working. Knock on wood. And it doesn't involve giving up my one morning cup of coffee or my one evening bit of chocolate. That was one doctor's suggestion and yes I did it for 6 months, along with the other 4 things he suggested, all to no avail. We have to be our own Sherlock in the end. 

Friday, May 7, 2021


 Tarot of Little Secrets ~ Hermit

Ah, the light at the end of the road. I will spend the day today in a series of eye tests, updating the MacTel2 study and seeing if the experimental implant is doing the job of stopping the progression. That study is nearly at an end after 10 years and the scuttlebutt is good that it will be approved. If so I'll be first in line to get it in the other eye. 

The Hermit seeks and observes while holding the light of discretion and his own counsel. 

Thursday, May 6, 2021

Think See Do

 Tarot of Little Secrets ~ 7 of Cups

Without imagination we have no choices, it doesn't even come to mind to make a change, to dream big, to fantasize. Whether to wear the red or the blue shoes, change jobs, buy the new car. But all those choices and then decisions abide in one thing. The ability to see ourselves driving the new car, working the new tasks, actually seeing ourselves in red shoes. 

Salespeople know that, know if we've seen ourselves using their product already the sale is made. If we can't no amount of persuasion will budge us. 

Today I'm picturing myself doing something by the end of June. Change is afoot, I don't quite know how it's working but I'm all in for it. Think it see it do it live it. 

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Queenly Dreamer

 Tarot of Little Secrets ~ Queen of Wands

I wish she'd wave her wand and fix my dreams. Last night I spent what seems like hours talking to a boy from high school...who has been dead for 40 years. The night before I spent hours as a biracial child and young woman in a 1800's poor/workhouse. A change though, from many years of high level anxiety dreams. Perhaps our Queen is warning me to be careful what I wish for. I sure wouldn't want the screaming until I wake myself up dreams back. 

Do Queens ever fix anything? Or are they above it all, distanced, remote? Thinks for the day. 

Tuesday, May 4, 2021

Farting Around

 Tarot of Little Secrets ~ 2 of Swords

"If you can't trust your mind, trust your gut" Laura Stamper

I'm pretty clear minded on big decisions, but the little ones sometimes stump me. Green towels or blue? Go to the beach or the mountain? Lasagna or Mac and Cheese? 

The truth? I flip a coin. Saves wear and tear on my poor brain and I hate farting around about the small stuff. 

Monday, May 3, 2021

Pure Cup

 Tarot of Little Secrets ~ 2 of Cups

Drawn in a relationship reading, a most positive card. But I'm looking at it this morning and as a murder mystery aficionado wondering why the greater percentage of decks show an exchange of cups. 

But the little secret in this card is the figure with the begging bowl. They have faith the bowl will be filled. Perhaps that is what love is, assurance the cup will be pure. 

Sunday, May 2, 2021

They Come To Us

 Tarot of Little Secrets ~ Devil

I've seen the enemy and the enemy is us. Spammers and scammers come to mind. I never answer my phone unless I'm expecting a specific call or have something running on Craigslist but the fact they exist still chaps me. 

An acquaintance said this week she answered one (showed ATT on the caller ID) that claimed to be from Amazon trying to cancel a fraudulent $500 purchase. She said she'd made no such purchase and asked for his personal line so she could call back and discuss further... he shouted she didn't need to use foul language (she hadn't) and that she was going to die of Covid for it. Now is that bizarre? 

She has had her shots but like the chain letters of old, it put a damper on her all week. Yes, we don't have to look for the devil, they come to us. 

Saturday, May 1, 2021