Friday, December 31, 2021

Magic

 White Hare Wisdom Oracle ~ Magic

Artificial light, paper mill machines, tires from trees, tin and iron and gold from rocks, moonlight on snow, people with brains enough to be doctors, ebay treasures, sticky notes, coffee, Fiona's ears, fountain pens, club soda, cat markings, starfish, what isn't a  miracle? Of life, of living, that we can anticipate a better new year. 

Wednesday, December 29, 2021

Laura Bridgman

 White Hare Wisdom Oracle ~ Release

I downloaded an app last week because it was highly praised by people I know. It is nice, helpful, well done, and at a five or ten dollar one time purchase I'd buy it in a minute. At a very stripped down free version I'd happily make use of it. 

It is $94.00 a Year. Good Gadly Goobers! So I've been trying to figure out how to stop that first auto subscribe. The app says it is easy to do, gives pretty clear instructions. Can't find it in subscriptions. Google gives pretty good same. Can't find it. 

It is easy for me to get wound up with technology snags. So rather than kick walls or eat worms I made a collage, not about my flusteration, but to commemorate someone who really did overcome real world problems. Laura Bridgman 1829-1889. My problems are simple and fixable. I will release. 

Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Besom Oars

 White Hare Wisdom Oracle ~ Flow

Coming or going? In or Out? With us or against us? Fight or flight? Fish or cut bait? Aboard or not?

Decisions decisions. But without them, or ignoring them, or refusing them we might as well be food for the fishes. Drifting isn't living. 

Not sure how well besom work for oars, but a decision has been made and something is better than nothing. Course adjustments are always possible. 

Monday, December 27, 2021

Almighty Mountains Happy Little Trees

 White Hare Wisdom ~ Rise Above

Rather than do traditional holiday things last week Rob and I sketched out our upcoming autumn trip. He booked three days with a guide in Yellowstone, something he has talked about for years, so I put on my thinking cap for a similar fun memory to make. 

See those mountains? I'm hammering out a plan for Bob Ross painting classes in Idaho and Nevada.

Just doing the research was a blast and there is still fine tuning to do and deciding what to buy for supplies and where. and when. I still have May's CT scan hanging over me but one thing I've learned, is Always Have Something To Look Forward To. I live by that motto!

Sunday, December 26, 2021

Still Yuleing

 White Hare Wisdom ~ Yule

Here at 970' elevation we have 3" of snow this morning. Enough to be beautiful, not enough to interfere with those traveling. We are nearly a week into days lengthening, I already feel better.  

As a promise, one of the hens laid a nice blue egg yesterday. Their egg laying production goes dormant in the short winter days generally. A special treat! I will have it today with leftover Yule ham slices. Life is good.

Saturday, December 25, 2021

SnowBirds

 Merciful Journeys to all our travel companions, Stay Safe

Friday, December 24, 2021

Opulence

 Benebell Wen I Ching ~ Hexagram 55

I know this card more as Abundance or Fullness, but maybe on December 24, when cash registers ring and ring some more, Opulence is more fitting. 

But...we got a holiday card from friends in Australia yesterday with a photo of their combined family including the newest, triplets. It was beautiful, heartwarming, and yes opulent in how it gives me hope there are still loving families doing good things for each other and for the world. A family full of members who have chosen to serve rather than take. Thank you for lifting our spirits and giving us hope for humanity. 

Thursday, December 23, 2021

Pure Intentions

 Benebell Wen I Ching ~ Hexagram 25

This suggests we maintain an innocent mind, no entreaties, no expectations, let ego go. Harder to do than I might think. 

I'm working on setting up a date for a special memory maker on vacation this fall. I've written explaining why her date offer can't work, and setting up my own entreaty without actually asking, with the hopeful expectation she will offer an alternative the next day. My ego, all over it. 

I made a 'it never hurts a thing to ask' query of a magazine publisher Monday and my socks were knocked off when they responded in the affirmative. But nothing since. I want to send hurry up entreaties, because it's all about mememe... but I'm holding off. I'm strong enough and adult enough to do this, surely? 

The Sixth Line of this hexagram says: If you are sincere in your efforts but no progress is made, accept. To attempt to force events is to abandon your innocence. So. Sitting on my hands. I can do this. I think.

Wednesday, December 22, 2021

Concord

 Benebell Wen I Ching ~ Hexagram 45

Furthering what is good and true, working together as a whole. Don't believe this ever described the world, or a country, or a community, or even a family. Even viewed through rose colored glasses we didn't work together during, say, World War II. There was profiteering on a huge scale, lying politicians, black marketing on the local scale,  cheating on ration coupons, hoarding, bribing merchants to get more meat or fuel, hiding to escape the draft...humans are humans. 

But I can organize myself to better my own character. I'm working on it, every day. Pushing a rock up the mountain with my nose, but isn't it a beautiful mountain?  I'd love to be whole, and unified, and not fighting myself...but will it be any fun? 

Tuesday, December 21, 2021

Great Efforts

 Benebell Wen I Ching ~ Hexagram 28

The pressure of the moment, will the straw break the camel's back, will the beam sag under the stress?  I'm taking a 4 week collage course on healing hearts. It is aimed at the holidays and it saddens me so to see how so many are struggling with new loss and separation, and the old problems of false expectations and enthusiasms crushed. 

We don't do holidays anymore, I'm taking the class for different reasons, but on the way to this point, we've had our good and bad ones. Not having kids changes the media vision of holidays, Rob being gone for most of them taught us pretty fast to not get our undies in a knot over a day. 

One of the best gifts I gave us was cutting off all gifts to or from anyone who didn't live in our house. Now that is freeing! I learned early on not to accept the well meant invitations from friends or neighbors to join them. It just made me more lonely for Rob, felt disloyal, and there was always someone in the family who resented me being there. 

We still  enjoy the music and lights of the season, prior to covid we'd still walk through the mall in December...but the rest of it? It was straws on the  poor camel's back we didn't need, ask for, want. Grinch me if you will, but my heart isn't hurting because of the holidays, great efforts are not needed. 

Yuletide Peace, however you celebrate

Monday, December 20, 2021

Polarizing Effect

 Benebell Wen I Ching ~ Hexagram 38

Polarizing. If that doesn't describe this decade so far nothing does. A good friend is in home hospice and we've been asked to come twice. But they won't answer if they are vaccinated and any number of people could be there they couldn't answer for. Not going. Making a clear decision doesn't make me feel any better about it. 

We didn't go to the family reunion this year, even though it was only about three hours from here. I can say with assurance I love every one of them. But I'm not willing to die because of one of them. Or maybe worse get symptoms of long covid, I have enough problems. 

I've tried to stomp out the utter revulsion for someone in every way I know, yet each  morning when I pull up the news a small voice says 'is he dead, I hope he is dead'. Polarizing. When we have an opportunity to work together for the common good. So I'll work for my good. 

Sunday, December 19, 2021

Revolution

 Benebell Wen I Ching ~ Hexagram 49

With that word we think of the big ones, insurrections, overthrows, coups, but today I'm dealing with me. I'm the only revolution I can control, to try to. The six I Ching Changes start with Perseverance in innocent nonaction. Then preparing the ground.Steady, steady. Inner attitude must be monitored constantly and be blameless. Understand fully what I'm trying to change. The inferior takes time to change. 

I've been fighting what I thought was mask rash in the beginning, for nine months. Today and yesterday my eyes were even swollen shut. Here I am (crybaby alert) trying to stay strong against lung cancer again, and I've got this stinkin' rash occupying the top of my brain pan. It isn't fair!  Ok, whine over. Back to Change six. It takes time. I'm retired. I can do this. :) 

Saturday, December 18, 2021

Euphrosyne

 Margarete Petersen Tarot ~ 3 of Cups

In aid of having fun and keeping spirits up, I'm signed up for a seven month goddess workshop doing collage next year. Not ever having been a fan of those rather arrogant and undisciplined folk of myth, I've decided to create my own pantheon.

In searching for ideas for a goddess of good fun, I found Euphrosyne, renowned for cheerfulness, merriment, joy, laughter. 

Also one of the Three Graces most often pictured dancing and raising a glass on the Three of Cups. Who knew? I'm already having fun!

My version of the Three Graces, Confucius says: Have Fun. 

Friday, December 17, 2021

The Oyster Never Learns

 Margarete Petersen Tarot ~ 9 of Cups

A grain of sand washed into the oyster shell. Irritating, painful, until over time it becomes the pearl. Petersen says through trial and pain we can achieve pearlmind. 

My tiny understanding of Buddhism says emotion is pain, until we can stop riding emotional seas, we will not achieve 9 of cups contentment. 

Certainly thoughts to think on, but I'll bet the oyster never learns to love the pearl. 


Thursday, December 16, 2021

Cope, With Equanimity

 Margarete Petersen Tarot ~ High Priestess

What did I know and when did I know I knew it? I quit doing a passion of mine last year. It puzzled me, confused me, left me empty, because prior to that I'd get up excited each morning to get to doing it. 

Sometimes it takes the mind a long time to accept a new reality, work out alternative realities. Yesterday I came to understand, today, I said it outloud, tomorrow I'll start organizing my new truth and reality. 

My eyes run the show now, there are still a zillion things I can do...but some things, well they are the past. It is what it is and I'm ok with that. The High Priestess and I will cope with equanimity.

Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Start Button

 Margarete Petersen Tarot ~ 10 of Wands/Flames

Really? Windows 11? No doubt they have changed something that will drive me crazy. No doubt there are changes I'll never even know or use. But did they enlarge the search bar? The directory? Right click list? No. At least the start button is still there...not that I can read that list either. 

Going now, carrying my burden and eating worms. But maybe the current hack that 'will take down the world as we know it' isn't there. Expect a different one is.

Tuesday, December 14, 2021

Who Asked Me To?

 Margarete Petersen Tarot ~ 5 of Cups 

Letting it go. 

Could be said I'm a 'get out of the way, I'll fix it' person. Some things, some people, some relationships just can't be fixed. And who asked me to? No one. 

Monday, December 13, 2021

Go Feral

 Margarete Petersen Tarot ~ 2 of Wands/Flames

Stay or go? Make a plan or wing it? Stay tame or go feral? I usually choose the second option, then allow for both spontaneity and common sense to form the new reality.

Wouldn't recommend it for everyone but it works for me. Change is growth. 

Sunday, December 12, 2021

Why Not?

 Margarete Petersen Tarot ~ 6 of Wands/Flames

Today I see this as triumph over self, for self. I could go on and on and it would be the Olympics of Boredom, but both 2021 victories involved learning to focus on the tree and not the forest. 

This morning I can look at this card and see the dancing, the fun, the deeper joy, of letting the ME go and just being me. It allowed room for change to come in without resistance of 'but I've always done it this way' and allowed room for 'why not?'.  


Saturday, December 11, 2021

Six Memories

 Magical Dogs Tarot ~ 6 of Cups/Sea

This card suggests we bring out our inner child, the fun memories.

Summer Bookmobile, new books every two weeks!

A school skip day, mother's suggestion, we went shopping for a doll (her idea not mine) and had sodas at the Kress counter, silver cups with pointy paper cones inserts. 

Any day Grandma Pearl came out to the farm, or I got to go back with her and stay over. Toast and tea and family gossip. And a real TV, 3 channels! She had one of those fold down sides toaster and used Blue Bonnet margarine.

Going to work with my dad and riding in the concrete mixer truck. Sitting high, looking down at the whole world passing by below.

When Aunt Dolly would bring friends from town to swim in our river. She was so sophisticated!

The only time I ever rode a Greyhound bus, Aberdeen to Prosser with Grandma Pearl to stay with my double cousins for two weeks. I bought an Archie comic book at the Olympia bus station and reread it for years and years. 

Friday, December 10, 2021

Feather Of Maat

 Magical Dogs Tarot ~ Death

I used to be better at just blocking out what I don't want to think about. Perhaps like ageing skin, the mind becomes more friable, easily broken open and exposing what we don't want to deal with. Like death.

That's all I got on Death today. Except I'm sure every dog's heart passes the Feather of Maat test.

Thursday, December 9, 2021

Rolling The Clams

 Magical Dogs Tarot ~ 5 of Cups/Sea

Not sure this happens, but it's been forty years since I dug razor clams. Expelling water/sand makes their digger foot expand and contract allowing them to dig deeper and get away from surface dangers. It also draws in the plankton they survive on. 

The authors point is being blinded to other opportunities. I'm trying to find the birth/death date for my maternal grandfather. It isn't going well because I pinned my hopes on one person being able to lay her hands on that information. Ignoring the fact she perhaps isn't dependable. Or is busy. Or binned the information at some point. 

Turning to the other clams...I'll start trying to access WWI military service records, look for the names of cemeteries in the area he lived in,  although I'm no longer sure where that was. Try contacting the local Veterans group although I haven't had any luck with that in the past. I'll just keep rolling those clams. 

Wednesday, December 8, 2021

Chew The Rope

 Magical Dogs Tarot ~ Devil/Trickster

Even if we aren't looking for troubles they do come along. We can get drug under or we can swim. Metaphorically...I don't know how to swim. But I know how to fight. How to chew binding ropes off. 

And I've been invited to join an international cancer study group, when one door closes another opens. I'm still good for something :) My lung cancer devil is back, but still small, hospitals are still full, we'll wait six more months. 


Tuesday, December 7, 2021

Restart Reset

 Magical Dogs Tarot ~ Ace of Coins/Earth

There is always somewhere to start unless we are dead. It is easy to forget that when life slaps us down; I intend to run up and down the driveway, like the wind, with little Fiona, because I can. And not think about slaps I can't do anything about. All the life on earth related stuff, we have choices. And consequences. And a chance to learn and do better. Ace of Coins is a gift of restarts, resets.


Monday, December 6, 2021

Speeding Wheel

 Magical Dogs Tarot ~ Wheel 

Age sneaks up on us, that is a slow wheel. This week nearby a man was hit by another car, spun off the freeway, across the frontage road, and into a small lake where he drowned. That is a fast wheel, the kind I think about when I check to see if I am living my life or drifting. 

Even in my small quiet life I like to think I'm dancing my days, awake, not sleeping through them, unaware, oblivious. It is the least I can do to appreciate what I've been given. 

Sunday, December 5, 2021

Sharing Our Toys

 Magical Dogs Tarot ~ 6 of Coins/Earth

Sharing their toys and such treasures they are! Our neighbor shares his woodsplitter and we mow their field in the summer. Linda cares for my chickens when we travel, Rob cares for her horse when she is gone. This is another kind of 6 of Coins, sharing what we have and can do for each other.

I grew up in the country and our neighborhood covered about a 10 mile circumference. One country road, school kids in common, community church, there were reasons for knowing each other. I don't know the names or faces of anyone on my road further than a quarter mile. Kind of weird and sad, but that is the world today. And smiling at everyone I meet at the Post Office, with a mask on, kinds of blunts the effect... 

But hey, I'm not dead and there are still lots of things to share. Life is good and I'll take it. 

Saturday, December 4, 2021

Fulfillment via Recalcitrant Psyche Poker

 Brady Tarot ~ 9 of Cups/Horns

Brady's deck was created from carved linoleum blocks, a painstaking and time consuming process of love and passion for her craft, and this is the last card she made in the undertaking. Fitting as it represents the annual crossing of caribou at Thirty Mile River, Nunavut Canada.

Nine of Cups can be that, satisfaction after a long process. I have one on my to-do list, which has been mulled (put off) for several years. A few years ago I set out to clean every room in the house wall to wall, one per month, and I did...except this room. Two bedrooms we altered into one big office back when I was parting out personal estates on eBay. It still reflects that stage of my life, and areas where I'm stuck because of my eyes. In aid of that fulfillment, and accepting physical changes, I've moved the mulling to the front of my brainpan.  

I've set January 1 as my start date, and created (of course!) a collage card to poke me in the psyche. It sits out where I can see it, and it is doing its work of revving me up. Based on Shitala Devi, she rides a humble burro and has four arms, for dusting, sweeping, bucketing away, and purifying with water. As a bonus she is tasked with cooling infections...just what we need in these days of Covid. I'm trusting her to be a good Poker In The Recalcitrant Psyche and help fulfill my mission. 

Friday, December 3, 2021

Grown-Up Adult

 Brady Tarot ~ Queen of Swords/Arrows

Ah. Time to be an adult. A grown-up. Not that they are the same thing, one is chronological and one is behavior based. The news abounds with adults that are not grown-ups. And children exhibiting admirable adult behavior. 

I have a day full of old adult health stuff, I hope I can be a grown-up about it all :) I feel a hissy fit and a flounce from the room coming on.  

Thursday, December 2, 2021

Goofy Holiday Sweater

 Brady Tarot ~ 2 of Wands/Feathers

My mission today. Go to Goodwill and see if I can find a Goofy Holiday Sweater. I'm laughing already, thinking about it. Sounds like success  to me. 

My mission today, remember to bid on the three eBay auctions I want. Win said auctions. Roll around giggling like Scrooge McDuck on his pile o'coins. 

Wednesday, December 1, 2021

Mourning

 Brady Tarot ~ 3 of Swords/Arrows 

Outside of Rob, the people I've loved the most are dead. But while thinking about this card I read an article by Mariabruna Sirabella which said in part: At some point we all fall for the demon of not belonging. We inflict this horrible feeling on ourselves and then we project it onto others, creating a breeding ground for suffering, injustice, exploitation, domination.

The dead are safe friends, they won't blurt hurtful things, or disappoint when needed, leave us out of the fun, abandon us, so many ways to perceive being hurt. 

Grief is a killer, but live people? Letting them into our hearts opens us to  our own ego, deciding what is painful, who is unfaithful in friendship, when people don't measure up...that viewpoint is not healthy, and I just may be guilty of it on some level. I don't trust people anymore, but where has that left me? Mourning. Something to work on for sure.